Catch you in the second round!

Last night three series reached their epic conclusion and we can now start to look forward to the second round. I’ve included some brief second round predictions at the end, but first let’s check out how we got here. The Mavericks somehow eliminated the Portland Trailblazers, the Lakers remembered the Hornets suck, and Atlanta finally got rid of the Orlando Magic despite blowing a 12 point fourth quarter lead. A season or two ago I never would’ve believed what I’m about to say, but I was very happy about that last one happening.

The Orlando Magic used to be exciting and a team you would think about as a championship winner in the future. They’ve since turned into a team with players who don’t live up to expectations and make their star player suffer. Now I’m no fan of Dwight Howard, but I give the dude props since his game had been huge all season. He was clearly the number 2 MVP candidate behind Derrick Rose. However he is a baby always acting like the league is out to get him.

I also can’t stand Stan Van Gundy anymore since he’s become a huge baby as well always bitching about how everybody’s how to get Dwight and himself. Stan Van has also become a god-awful coach. Nobody on the Magic other than Dwight Howard is able to play any kind of defense. That game when they roared back from like 20 down to beat Miami, I turned that shit off because it was horrible to watch. Orlando’s offensive strategy consisted of standing around and shooting threes, or have Dwight dunk it. I guess they got hot in the second half and came back to win, but it didn’t look like that would be the case early on.

Today Basketbawful even made fun of their offensive strategy saying it should be called “Dunk or a Three.” I didn’t know that had become their regular thing, I figured it was just something they were doing against the Heat that night. But after watching their series with Atlanta I’ve learned that is all they do. That is why they fail. Even the run ‘n gun Suns don’t just camp out and shoot threes all game. And the Magic weren’t even the top three point shooting team in the league, but that is still their strategy. What the fuck?

Van Gundy’s piss poor offensive strategy has driven me nuts for the last couple months, and the fact nobody on that team plays defense and Van Gundy doesn’t seem to make it priority and that only makes me crazier. Howard and Van Gundy have also turned into huge babies since they haven’t been able to get over the hump and win a championship, further annoying me. Howard is always getting technicals and costs his team, and Van Gundy complains about how the league just hates the Magic. All this bitching made me take great joy in watching them lose last night.

What made it even better was somebody’s sign in the Atlanta crowd that read something like, “Don’t worry Jameer, we’ll tell Derrick you said hello in the second round.” I thought that was just some fans talking shit because they were eliminating the Magic, but as it turns out there was a larger purpose. I was watching the game on NBA TV and I can’t remember if it was the NBA TV people or if it was the people in the local Atlanta feed the game was airing on, but they showed a clip of Jameer Nelson telling Derrick Rose, “Catch you in the second round” after the Bulls beat Orlando near the end of the regular season. Owned! When you talk that shit while finishing the season poorly you deserve to get eliminated in the first round.

Meanwhile the Blazers sadly lost to the Mavs, bringing the best series of the playoffs thus far to an end. I was hoping Dallas won that series initially, but after Brandon Roy suddenly came back like a force and all the Blazers played their asses off I had to change my stance. The Blazers worked real hard so I felt bad they had to go out like this. I felt even worse since I missed the Mavs come back. I was watching the game and the Blazers looked to be in control, then I fell asleep and found out this morning the Mavericks won and now move on to round two. Great now we can watch the Lakers run through them in five games.

The Lakers closed out the Hornets last night, with Ron Artest kissing the guns and everything. I fucking hate Kobe Bryant so as much as it pains me to root against a Phil Jackson coached team, I hope Dallas can suddenly become good enough to beat a real ass team in the playoffs and get Los Angeles out of there. I do hope Pau Gasol can, as Lil Jon would scream, step his game up since I’m a fan of his work. He played like mildly better Carlos Boozer in this last series it seemed, and that’s not what LA needs from him.

Meanwhile the Spurs/Grizzlies series continues tonight back in Memphis for Game 6. The Grizzlies could become just the second 8 seed to beat the 1 seed since the first round became seven games. The Spurs comeback to win in overtime in Game 5 was one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen in my life so I’m excited for this game. The winner of this series will become cannon fodder for the OKC Thunder in the next round, but I’m still excited to see if the Grizzlies can win this series or if the Spurs can complete the come back from being down 3-1.

Either way, our second round matchups are nearly all set. Out in the East we shall see:
(1) Chicago Bulls vs. (5) Atlanta Hawks
(2) Miami Heat vs. (3) Boston Celtics

Then out West it shall be:
(4)Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Winner of Spurs/Grizzlies
(2) Los Angeles Lakers vs. (3) Dallas Mavericks

For fear of jinxing Chicago I will not comment on that series. For fear of putting some kind of curse on the Heat/Celtics series, I will not comment on it other than saying that is going to be the series to watch. It has been hyped up since July of last year when LeBron said he was taking his talents to South Beach. It is going to be crazy.

Out West OKC will finish off Memphis in five or San Antonio in six. The Lakers will dispose of Dallas in five most likely. I hope that isn’t the case, but I’m sure Los Angeles will once again be in the conference finals. We will catch them in the third round.