We are just days away from WrestleMania 29! With three predictable main events on tap, WWE is either headed for a completely mediocre show or they might surprise us all and do some totally unexpected things. There is a lot to say, so I’m just going to get right to it.
THE UNDERCARD
Pre-Show Match – Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett vs. The Miz:
There is absolutely no point in having this match other than giving these guys something to do and having a match on the pre-show. Winner: Wade Barrett I guess? But they are high on Miz now. It doesn’t matter, if this match was so important it would have made the pay per view.
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango:
Fandango’s gimmick is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen: a dancer who is angry that people don’t say his name right. Luckily Chris Jericho is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time and can carry anybody to a good match and make them look good. I’ve heard Fandango is a pretty good worker so even though this match will be short it will probably be solid. Jericho is my favorite wrestler of all time so it makes be sad, but his returns are all about making the new generation look good so very likely no surprises here. Winner: Fandango
Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhodes Scholars and the Bella Twins:
An 8-person mixed-tag with the idiotic pairing of Tensai and Brodus Clay with their dancers Cameron and Naomi against one of the best tag teams WWE has and the Bella Twins. Tensai used to be Albert, then A-Train and is one of my least favorite wrestlers ever. This match is going to be like 6 minutes long and I couldn’t care any less about it. This will be a definite “check how your fantasy baseball and basketball teams are doing” match. Winner: Team Rhodes Scholars
Ryback vs. Mark Henry:
This is going to be the worst match of the night easily, and only the second worst thing we will see behind Diddy’s musical performance. They will try real hard and in a video game this would be the sickest match ever since they could just smash shit. That won’t be how it goes down in real life. There will be some power moves, Ryback will try to lift Henry for Shellshock and will probably botch it and we’ll hear Cole be like, “Did he get all of it? I think he got all of it!” to make it not sound bad. Winner: Ryback
WWE Tag Team Champions Kane and Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston:
I would have figured Team Hell No would be broken up by now and Kane and Bryan would be going head-to-head at this show. But since they’re still together, I don’t see why Ziggler and Big E. would win the belts from them unless Ziggler would cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase later in the night and walk out a double champion. I feel like if Ziggler and Langston win, it is because Team Hell No implodes, and if that happens then who do the new champs feud with? Tensai and Brodus Clay? I can’t imagine them sticking Ziggler in a situation like that when he seems ready for a big push. I see some New Years Revolution 2006 stuff happening here as Ziggler won’t care about losing since he has bigger things on his mind. I am excited to see Ziggler and Bryan working with each other at WrestleMania, though. That should be pretty exciting. Winner: Kane and Daniel Bryan
The Shield vs. Sheamus, Randy Orton, and Big Show:
This should be a pretty entertaining brawl, as all of The Shield’s matches thus far have been. There have been rumors of an Orton heel turn for a while so maybe this is where we finally see it go down, not necessarily as part of The Shield since that would be corny, but maybe they lose and he freaks out. This is one of the matches I am most excited for, and if somebody told me I’d be saying that about a match involving Orton and Big Show I would never have believed it. The Shield has been so entertaining and their hot run isn’t over yet, but more on that later. Winner: The Shield.
THE MAIN EVENTS
For these I will talk about what should happen and what probably will happen since three of the big four matches look mighty predictable and I want to play arm chair booker for a minute here.
World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger:
This match will be good but it is kind of a drag since the WHC is pretty much a secondary belt. It was defended in 18 seconds at last year’s Mania so excuse me if I don’t group it in with the magnitude of the other three remaining bouts. But as for the match itself, yikes man. Swagger’s evil, immigrant-hating, jingoist character is supposed to make him be a super heel, but Del Rio’s run as a face as gotten so stale so quickly people are actually cheering for Swagger some nights. This will probably be one of the better matches of the night since they are both good workers, but I wonder how much the crowd will really care. And with Swagger not getting punished for his DUI I am kind of bummed he still gets such a big match.
What should happen: Swagger should win and get his punishment for the DUI in the form of a shortened title reign when Dolph Ziggler cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase and becomes World Champion.
What probably will happen: Swagger will get his punishment for the DUI in the form of a shortened title reign when Dolph Ziggler cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase and becomes World Champion. WWE has been hesitant to pull the trigger on Ziggler for a while, but he got a big win over Cena at TLC in December, lasted the longest in the Rumble, and now is the time to go for it.
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar, No Holds Barred and if Triple H loses he must retire:
Rant time. I go through phases where I love or hate Triple H, and right now is one of those times I can’t stand him at all. In the time that I have watched wrestling, I’ve seen Trips put people down way more than I’ve seen him put them over. Yes, he can work a great match when you need it but Jim Cornette basically said all that needs to be said about him. It would make perfect sense for Lesnar to win since he is 1-1 in his return and a victory here would allow him to easily enter into more main events going forward. However, since Lesnar got the win at SummerSlam last year and Trips has his career on the line, I don’t see him putting Lesnar over again.
Lesnar needs to win so he is easier to book as an animal. That loss to Cena in his return match was idiotic and that makes me think they won't know how to book him here either. The man was the UFC’s biggest PPV draw and has drawn big for WWE in his return. But we run into a problem. Anybody who acts like aside from putting over Benoit, Batista, and Shelton Benjamin that Triple H doesn’t shit all over people is living a lie since Booker T, RVD, Goldberg, and Cena all were made to look like fools against Trips. Sure Cena got the win at Mania but only after Triple H mocked his wrestling ability and made him look bad. Even Punk had to job to him two years ago despite Triple H not being a full-time guy anymore. He mocked Chris Masters for failing a Wellness test for no reason, and even kicked Wade Barrett in the nuts two weeks ago on Raw just to make himself look like a beast for no reason at all. There is no reason for Triple H to win, which means he probably will win. However, let me just toss in that this or the next match is way more deserving of the final spot on the card than the real main event.
What should happen: A Lesnar victory. You can’t keep booking somebody as a destroyer if he loses more than he wins. Triple H is moving into the front office, and a win here does nothing for him it only hurts Lesnar.
What will happen: HBK, Stephanie McMahon, and Vince McMahon will beat up on Paul Heyman and Triple H will win.
CM Punk vs. The Undertaker, Undertaker looks to go 21-0 at WrestleMania:
This will be one of Undertaker’s last matches, if not his last match. They were unsure if he would even be able to work this show, and the last couple years his matches have involved a lot of laying around tired. I don’t think he was selling a beating from Triple H two years ago, I think they just had him lay around and get smashed with a chair since he was too tired to do anything else. That said, this is the match I am most excited for since I am a huge fan of both and even if Taker can’t go like he used to, I think he’s got one more great match left in him. As messed up as it is to say this, luckily Paul Bearer died or else this feud would have been the most random thing ever. It is still pretty random but at least they have something to fight over other than Undertaker’s undefeated streak. Punk is a tremendous worker, and Undertaker literally takes the entire year off building for just this one night so I think they can do something special as long as Taker is in shape.
Undertaker really doesn’t have much left in the tank and there are all kinds of stories that Punk is banged up so who knows what they are really capable of here, but Taker’s had great Mania matches with Orton, Edge, Michaels twice, even Batista in the last decade so I think he’ll put it all out there to do it again. It is obvious that the streak isn’t going to end here, but that doesn’t make the match any less grand. WrestleMania is Undertaker’s show and working with him there is as big as having a title match. Taker may not be around much longer so we need to enjoy this while we can.
What should happen: Undertaker wins and then retires because he really has nothing left to do.
What will happen: Undertaker wins and doesn’t retire and will have some kind of bad match next year at Mania 30.
WWE Champion The Rock vs. John Cena:
I love Rock, but his current reign as WWE Champion is one of the worst I have seen. He is barely on Raw since he is promoting movies all the time and filming his stupid new reality show. This match doesn’t need the belt. Ryback should have won the Royal Rumble and should be ending CM Punk’s historic title reign at this show, and Rock and Cena could have their rematch from last year’s main event just because. But alas, it is all about money and having Rock as champion is big money for them so you can’t really be mad at WWE for this. The match will be a little lackluster since I think they did all they could do last year so there is nowhere else to take this thing. Cena has been acting a little crazy these last couple weeks, maybe hinting at a heel turn this weekend.
A Cena heel turn would be great since his character is beyond stale. With rumors CM Punk is going to take some time off after Mania, you’ll need a main event heel. Cena turning heel completely changes everything and nobody has to worry about seeing the same feuds over and over since everything will be totally shaken up. This feud has sucked this year since they are saying the same things from last year, only amended to reflect Cena’s loss. The crowd will probably be crapping all over this match since the predictable finish is that Cena will get his win back and the smark crowd will not want to see this.
What should happen: Rock should win or Cena should turn heel and cheat to win. It is so obvious that Cena will win that it can’t happen. You don’t need these guys feuding since WrestleMania 27 in an epic program to just put the most over guy in the company over even more.
What probably will happen: Cena will win clean, setting up a rubber match at Mania 30. It was so obvious Cena was going to win the Royal Rumble and it actually happened. Cena has been force fed down people’s throats for ten years, so no time to stop now. I don’t think WWE will have the stones to turn Cena heel at all, especially on the biggest show of the year.
So that is it. Hopefully we get an exciting show and hopefully we get a few surprises along the way. I mean, I’d like at least one surprise other than that increased PPV price…
Showing posts with label WrestleMania. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WrestleMania. Show all posts
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Rights and Wrongs in the Sporting World 1
In the three realms we cover here on BBB, a great deal has happened as of late. As the title of this post suggests, I will be covering what out of the past few weeks is right in the universe and what is wrong. All pretty straightforward, so let’s just get to it.
The Right:
1. Stephon Marbury Gets a Statue - When Stephon Marbury left the NBA to go play for the Chinese Basketball Association, his life was a mess. He had left the Knicks in shame after threatening to blackmail Isiah Thomas and then feuding with Mike D’Antoni. He turned down a contract with the Boston Celtics so he could focus on “business” and then started broadcasting his life via webcam and did weird things like eat Vaseline and cry listening to music. Then he went to the CBA and has become a new man. He has matured and has become a superstar over there and lead the Beijing Ducks to their first CBA Championship. He averaged 33 and 6 in the Finals, and scored 41 points in the deciding Game 5, but CBA rules ban a foreign-born player from winning the MVP award. Luckily, a million CBA fans signed a petition calling for a massive bronze statue of Starbury to be made in honor of his contributions. It is great to see Marbury finally act like an adult and finally become a winner. It is even better that he is going to be immortalized with a sick statue.
2. Memphis Grizzlies - The team I said would rival the OKC Thunder for the top seed in the Western Conference has not been the truth this year. Granted Zach Randolph being hurt cost them, but he is now back and the Grizzlies have a very solid team. Marc Gasol is one of the best centers in the league, then you’ve got guys like OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay who can pile on the points and play good defense. Even Gilbert Arenas has proven to be a solid addition thus far, and it seemed like his career was at an end. Over the course of their last 10 games, the Grizzlies are 8-2 and have beaten the likes of the defending champion Dallas Mavericks, the Miami Heat, the Lakers, the Clippers, and the West-leading Thunder. They have put together a nice late-season stretch that could give them a ton of confidence come the playoffs.
3. Anderson Silva’s Revenge - It has been announced that Chael Sonnen will get another shot at Anderson Silva’s Middleweight Championship on June 23 in Silva’s native Brazil. The Brazilian fans are always rabid at the UFC shows and after all the trash talk Sonnen has dished out for two years about Silva, the Nogueira brothers, and the country of Brazil, somebody is going to want to see Sonnen get smacked up. An article on BJPenn.com asked if Sonnen’s trash talk is getting old. It was old after he got submitted by Silva in their first fight yet still talked the noise about how he was the true champion. Silva’s victory was maybe the most heroic in UFC history as he went into the fight mentally unprepared due to the loss of his grandmother and he was physically unprepared as he had busted ribs. Also, Sonnen was juiced up, but that will be touched on later in this post. It didn’t matter as Silva still made Sonnen eat his words about how a Nogueira black belt is like a Happy Meal toy. Now Silva is healthy and will be out to prove that Sonnen’s dominance over him in the first fight was just a fluke.
4. Tom Thibodeau - Thibs may be on pace to become the first back-to-back winner of the NBA Coach of the Year Award. He totally deserves it, and not just because I’m a Bulls fan. With Derrick Rose having a historic season in terms of games missed by a reigning MVP, the Bulls are still poised to win the East and maybe finish with the best record in the league. Best in the league despite being depleted by injuries all year and Carlos Boozer having to be the best player on the team. Chicago is staring down 50 wins in this brutal, lockout-shortened year even though Luol Deng has a serious wrist problem and isn’t playing as well as he could, Rip Hamilton plays a game or two then leaves because he’s hurt, and Derrick Rose has only played 35 of the 58 games this year. That’s three of the five starters down, and Chicago is just chugging along thanks to Thibodeau’s defense-first teachings.
5. The WWE and John Cena - Ten days ago was a terrific show at WrestleMania XXVIII. In a shocking turn of events in the main event, the WWE put The Rock over John Cena. Usually when they do these clashes of an icon from the past with the icon from the present, the classic guy always loses. WWE has forced Cena down everybody’s throats for years so everybody expected him to go over The Rock. In terms of storylines, it was a brilliant move to have Rock go over since this makes Cena’s character far more interesting. Had Cena won, he would have beaten literally every big star except for Undertaker. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, everybody has had to job for Cena. If Cena had won he would be unstoppable forever. But now that he loses a match he said he had to win or he would lose “everything,” he is far more interesting. Compound that with Brock Lesnar returning the next night on Raw and delivering the F5 to Cena, and Cena instantly becomes interesting for the first time in years. Even the other night on Raw Lesnar got the better of Cena. WWE never has their top guy get jobbed out repeatedly, but now that they are doing it Cena is actually entertaining. The days of Super Cena who cannot be touched by mortal men are long gone and now Cena is just another superstar. However, this leads me to the first thing I want to discuss with what is wrong in the realms these days.
The Wrong:
1. WWE - Vince McMahon is going to be stepping down soon and relinquishing control of the company to his daughter Stephanie and her husband Triple H (not his real name). Vince has been pissed as of late since aside from the rise of CM Punk as a main event star in the last year, nobody other than Cena has gotten over with the fans. Normally if you want to get people over, you put them in high profile feuds and have them win. Hell, give them a secondary title like the Intercontinental or US title and have them work matches. Dolph Ziggler should be US Champion right now after being made to look like absolute crap against CM Punk but now is getting jobbed out to the “Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay. Cody Rhodes was making the Intercontinental title mean something again by cutting good promos and working good matches, but then they jobbed him out to Big Show at Mania so his push has declined. Zack Ryder gets jobbed out and made to look like an idiot every week. Ron Killings is portraying R-Truth, a gimmick I feel is offensive since it requires him to just be the token wild black guy who says crazy stuff and break dances. Daniel Bryan, who has won Wrestling Observer’s Best Technical Wrestler award seven straight years, was jobbed out in 18 SECONDS at WrestleMania. Rather than put some of these guys in feuds with Cena and make them stars they are being made to look like clowns. Vince is pissed there are no new stars, so what did they do? Bring back The Rock, who can only work for like maybe a month then disappears to make another movie, and put him over the biggest star in the company. The next night they bring back Brock Lesnar and put him over the top star in the company. How does this solve the issue of there being no new talent? The new blood isn’t even being given a shot and stars of the past like Brock and Rock aren’t putting anybody over, they are just being pushed like they are the future.
2. Alistair Overeem Fails a Random Drug Test - The Nevada State Athletic Commission granted Alistair Overeem a conditional license to face Brock Lesnar back in December. Part of this conditional license was the provision that he would be randomly piss tested since he has put on so much muscle the last few years it is obvious he must be on steroids. His temporary license expired on December 31st, 2011 and he passed his drug test both pre and post-fight. Reem’s victory over Lesnar has put him at the front of the line for a heavyweight title fight with champion Junior dos Santos. Overeem isn’t currently licensed but at the UFC 146 press conference, the NSAC administered a random drug test on Overeem and he failed, putting what would have been a great fight in jeopardy. The legal testosterone ratio for competition in Nevada is 6:1, while Overeem’s ratio was 14:1. Now the title fight seems to be in jeopardy since Nevada can refuse to issue a license on these grounds when Reem has his hearing. UFC President Dana White is furious since Reem looked him dead in the eye and swore he was not on steroids, but this test says otherwise. Overeem could claim testosterone replacement therapy as so many fighters do (more on that in a moment), or his defense could be that he isn’t licensed so this test means nothing. He has never failed a pre or post-fight drug test, and if he tests clean right before the fight and right after why should he be punished? The fight isn’t until the end of May so who is to say he won’t have a normal ratio on fight night? While a cheap defense, it still raises a valid point. But the fact remains, Overeem swore he wasn’t juiced up and here he is with the second highest ratio for a major fighter. Who was first? Well that’s what is so interesting...
3. Chael Sonnen Gets a Second Title Shot - The highest testosterone level belongs to Chael Sonnen with 16.9 when he had his title fight against Anderson Silva back in August of 2010. Not only did Sonnen get choked out, he cheated also since he failed to ever document he underwent testosterone replacement therapy for a condition called hypergonadism. It is worth noting one of the causes of hypergonadism is steroid use. He nearly pulled off the biggest upset in MMA history and it would have been tarnished because he had testosterone levels 17 times higher than that of a normal man, which is ridiculous even if he underwent TRT since a proper procedure would not cause that as the article I just linked to explains. He is being rewarded for nearly shaming the company by getting another title shot, while Alistair Overeem’s future with the UFC is in jeopardy. The Overeem test was just a random test on an un-licensed fighter, while Sonnen was in the biggest fight of the year and failed right before and right after the fight. Everybody is calling for Overeem to be punished, but people love Sonnen’s professional wrestling-style promos that embarrass the sport and they ignore the fact he cheated badly. Reem has never failed a drug test pre or post-fight and is going to be punished, but Sonnen fails pre and post-fight and is being rewarded despite the fact that if he had won that fight with Silva the UFC would have been shamed and all the good will the sport had built up would have been done.
4. Derrick Rose - Rose has missed numerous clutch free throws this year, most notably the other night against the Knicks. People could say it is a mental thing, and I agree to an extent, but we can’t forget Rose has been in horrible shape all year. Last year he was an absolute killer and carried Chicago to unexpected heights. This year he has barely played half of the games and gets injured all the time. Turf toe, bad back, bad groin, and now a sprained ankle. Maybe he wasn’t his usual clutch self against New York because he sprained that ankle again during the game and has been injured all year. Either way, his struggles to get healthy are going to cost the Chicago Bulls come playoff time. Granted it isn’t entirely his fault since he keeps getting hurt since he hasn’t had the chance to get in game shape, but still he is doing more harm than good right now. And the fact he has missed so many fourth quarter free throws this year is even worse. While the regular season hardly matters, it is still a dire situation when Derrick Rose has been more injured and hasn’t even had as good of a season as Carlos Boozer.
5. LeBron MVP Talk Despite a Great Canadian Having a Great Year - Yeah I hate LeBron but just hear me out. He is clearly the MVP this year and all, but depending on how these last few games go we may have to consider somebody else for a three-time MVP winner. If the Phoenix Suns make the playoffs, Steve Nash totally deserves to be MVP. He is battling it out with Rajon Rondo to be league leader in assists, and is sixth in the league in field goal percentage, with a ridiculous 54.1%. He’s the only non-post player up that high, with LeBron James sitting at 10. Did I mention he is a 38-year-old 6’3” point guard averaging 13 and 11? Not the most electrifying numbers in terms of scoring, but getting the Suns into the playoffs with Marcin Gortat as your second best player and Grant Hill out for the season is unreal. Michael Redd and Channing Frye are relied on as major options. LeBron is having an amazing year and all, but the Western Conference is the still the Bestern Conference, and if Nash can lead the Suns to the playoffs being several games over .500 hopefully somebody throws him a bone here.
That’s all for now. God speed and party on.
The Right:
1. Stephon Marbury Gets a Statue - When Stephon Marbury left the NBA to go play for the Chinese Basketball Association, his life was a mess. He had left the Knicks in shame after threatening to blackmail Isiah Thomas and then feuding with Mike D’Antoni. He turned down a contract with the Boston Celtics so he could focus on “business” and then started broadcasting his life via webcam and did weird things like eat Vaseline and cry listening to music. Then he went to the CBA and has become a new man. He has matured and has become a superstar over there and lead the Beijing Ducks to their first CBA Championship. He averaged 33 and 6 in the Finals, and scored 41 points in the deciding Game 5, but CBA rules ban a foreign-born player from winning the MVP award. Luckily, a million CBA fans signed a petition calling for a massive bronze statue of Starbury to be made in honor of his contributions. It is great to see Marbury finally act like an adult and finally become a winner. It is even better that he is going to be immortalized with a sick statue.
2. Memphis Grizzlies - The team I said would rival the OKC Thunder for the top seed in the Western Conference has not been the truth this year. Granted Zach Randolph being hurt cost them, but he is now back and the Grizzlies have a very solid team. Marc Gasol is one of the best centers in the league, then you’ve got guys like OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay who can pile on the points and play good defense. Even Gilbert Arenas has proven to be a solid addition thus far, and it seemed like his career was at an end. Over the course of their last 10 games, the Grizzlies are 8-2 and have beaten the likes of the defending champion Dallas Mavericks, the Miami Heat, the Lakers, the Clippers, and the West-leading Thunder. They have put together a nice late-season stretch that could give them a ton of confidence come the playoffs.
3. Anderson Silva’s Revenge - It has been announced that Chael Sonnen will get another shot at Anderson Silva’s Middleweight Championship on June 23 in Silva’s native Brazil. The Brazilian fans are always rabid at the UFC shows and after all the trash talk Sonnen has dished out for two years about Silva, the Nogueira brothers, and the country of Brazil, somebody is going to want to see Sonnen get smacked up. An article on BJPenn.com asked if Sonnen’s trash talk is getting old. It was old after he got submitted by Silva in their first fight yet still talked the noise about how he was the true champion. Silva’s victory was maybe the most heroic in UFC history as he went into the fight mentally unprepared due to the loss of his grandmother and he was physically unprepared as he had busted ribs. Also, Sonnen was juiced up, but that will be touched on later in this post. It didn’t matter as Silva still made Sonnen eat his words about how a Nogueira black belt is like a Happy Meal toy. Now Silva is healthy and will be out to prove that Sonnen’s dominance over him in the first fight was just a fluke.
4. Tom Thibodeau - Thibs may be on pace to become the first back-to-back winner of the NBA Coach of the Year Award. He totally deserves it, and not just because I’m a Bulls fan. With Derrick Rose having a historic season in terms of games missed by a reigning MVP, the Bulls are still poised to win the East and maybe finish with the best record in the league. Best in the league despite being depleted by injuries all year and Carlos Boozer having to be the best player on the team. Chicago is staring down 50 wins in this brutal, lockout-shortened year even though Luol Deng has a serious wrist problem and isn’t playing as well as he could, Rip Hamilton plays a game or two then leaves because he’s hurt, and Derrick Rose has only played 35 of the 58 games this year. That’s three of the five starters down, and Chicago is just chugging along thanks to Thibodeau’s defense-first teachings.
5. The WWE and John Cena - Ten days ago was a terrific show at WrestleMania XXVIII. In a shocking turn of events in the main event, the WWE put The Rock over John Cena. Usually when they do these clashes of an icon from the past with the icon from the present, the classic guy always loses. WWE has forced Cena down everybody’s throats for years so everybody expected him to go over The Rock. In terms of storylines, it was a brilliant move to have Rock go over since this makes Cena’s character far more interesting. Had Cena won, he would have beaten literally every big star except for Undertaker. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, everybody has had to job for Cena. If Cena had won he would be unstoppable forever. But now that he loses a match he said he had to win or he would lose “everything,” he is far more interesting. Compound that with Brock Lesnar returning the next night on Raw and delivering the F5 to Cena, and Cena instantly becomes interesting for the first time in years. Even the other night on Raw Lesnar got the better of Cena. WWE never has their top guy get jobbed out repeatedly, but now that they are doing it Cena is actually entertaining. The days of Super Cena who cannot be touched by mortal men are long gone and now Cena is just another superstar. However, this leads me to the first thing I want to discuss with what is wrong in the realms these days.
The Wrong:
1. WWE - Vince McMahon is going to be stepping down soon and relinquishing control of the company to his daughter Stephanie and her husband Triple H (not his real name). Vince has been pissed as of late since aside from the rise of CM Punk as a main event star in the last year, nobody other than Cena has gotten over with the fans. Normally if you want to get people over, you put them in high profile feuds and have them win. Hell, give them a secondary title like the Intercontinental or US title and have them work matches. Dolph Ziggler should be US Champion right now after being made to look like absolute crap against CM Punk but now is getting jobbed out to the “Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay. Cody Rhodes was making the Intercontinental title mean something again by cutting good promos and working good matches, but then they jobbed him out to Big Show at Mania so his push has declined. Zack Ryder gets jobbed out and made to look like an idiot every week. Ron Killings is portraying R-Truth, a gimmick I feel is offensive since it requires him to just be the token wild black guy who says crazy stuff and break dances. Daniel Bryan, who has won Wrestling Observer’s Best Technical Wrestler award seven straight years, was jobbed out in 18 SECONDS at WrestleMania. Rather than put some of these guys in feuds with Cena and make them stars they are being made to look like clowns. Vince is pissed there are no new stars, so what did they do? Bring back The Rock, who can only work for like maybe a month then disappears to make another movie, and put him over the biggest star in the company. The next night they bring back Brock Lesnar and put him over the top star in the company. How does this solve the issue of there being no new talent? The new blood isn’t even being given a shot and stars of the past like Brock and Rock aren’t putting anybody over, they are just being pushed like they are the future.
2. Alistair Overeem Fails a Random Drug Test - The Nevada State Athletic Commission granted Alistair Overeem a conditional license to face Brock Lesnar back in December. Part of this conditional license was the provision that he would be randomly piss tested since he has put on so much muscle the last few years it is obvious he must be on steroids. His temporary license expired on December 31st, 2011 and he passed his drug test both pre and post-fight. Reem’s victory over Lesnar has put him at the front of the line for a heavyweight title fight with champion Junior dos Santos. Overeem isn’t currently licensed but at the UFC 146 press conference, the NSAC administered a random drug test on Overeem and he failed, putting what would have been a great fight in jeopardy. The legal testosterone ratio for competition in Nevada is 6:1, while Overeem’s ratio was 14:1. Now the title fight seems to be in jeopardy since Nevada can refuse to issue a license on these grounds when Reem has his hearing. UFC President Dana White is furious since Reem looked him dead in the eye and swore he was not on steroids, but this test says otherwise. Overeem could claim testosterone replacement therapy as so many fighters do (more on that in a moment), or his defense could be that he isn’t licensed so this test means nothing. He has never failed a pre or post-fight drug test, and if he tests clean right before the fight and right after why should he be punished? The fight isn’t until the end of May so who is to say he won’t have a normal ratio on fight night? While a cheap defense, it still raises a valid point. But the fact remains, Overeem swore he wasn’t juiced up and here he is with the second highest ratio for a major fighter. Who was first? Well that’s what is so interesting...
3. Chael Sonnen Gets a Second Title Shot - The highest testosterone level belongs to Chael Sonnen with 16.9 when he had his title fight against Anderson Silva back in August of 2010. Not only did Sonnen get choked out, he cheated also since he failed to ever document he underwent testosterone replacement therapy for a condition called hypergonadism. It is worth noting one of the causes of hypergonadism is steroid use. He nearly pulled off the biggest upset in MMA history and it would have been tarnished because he had testosterone levels 17 times higher than that of a normal man, which is ridiculous even if he underwent TRT since a proper procedure would not cause that as the article I just linked to explains. He is being rewarded for nearly shaming the company by getting another title shot, while Alistair Overeem’s future with the UFC is in jeopardy. The Overeem test was just a random test on an un-licensed fighter, while Sonnen was in the biggest fight of the year and failed right before and right after the fight. Everybody is calling for Overeem to be punished, but people love Sonnen’s professional wrestling-style promos that embarrass the sport and they ignore the fact he cheated badly. Reem has never failed a drug test pre or post-fight and is going to be punished, but Sonnen fails pre and post-fight and is being rewarded despite the fact that if he had won that fight with Silva the UFC would have been shamed and all the good will the sport had built up would have been done.
4. Derrick Rose - Rose has missed numerous clutch free throws this year, most notably the other night against the Knicks. People could say it is a mental thing, and I agree to an extent, but we can’t forget Rose has been in horrible shape all year. Last year he was an absolute killer and carried Chicago to unexpected heights. This year he has barely played half of the games and gets injured all the time. Turf toe, bad back, bad groin, and now a sprained ankle. Maybe he wasn’t his usual clutch self against New York because he sprained that ankle again during the game and has been injured all year. Either way, his struggles to get healthy are going to cost the Chicago Bulls come playoff time. Granted it isn’t entirely his fault since he keeps getting hurt since he hasn’t had the chance to get in game shape, but still he is doing more harm than good right now. And the fact he has missed so many fourth quarter free throws this year is even worse. While the regular season hardly matters, it is still a dire situation when Derrick Rose has been more injured and hasn’t even had as good of a season as Carlos Boozer.
5. LeBron MVP Talk Despite a Great Canadian Having a Great Year - Yeah I hate LeBron but just hear me out. He is clearly the MVP this year and all, but depending on how these last few games go we may have to consider somebody else for a three-time MVP winner. If the Phoenix Suns make the playoffs, Steve Nash totally deserves to be MVP. He is battling it out with Rajon Rondo to be league leader in assists, and is sixth in the league in field goal percentage, with a ridiculous 54.1%. He’s the only non-post player up that high, with LeBron James sitting at 10. Did I mention he is a 38-year-old 6’3” point guard averaging 13 and 11? Not the most electrifying numbers in terms of scoring, but getting the Suns into the playoffs with Marcin Gortat as your second best player and Grant Hill out for the season is unreal. Michael Redd and Channing Frye are relied on as major options. LeBron is having an amazing year and all, but the Western Conference is the still the Bestern Conference, and if Nash can lead the Suns to the playoffs being several games over .500 hopefully somebody throws him a bone here.
That’s all for now. God speed and party on.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
BBB's WrestleMania XXVIII Predictions
Tonight is the Grandaddy of ‘Em All! The Showcase of the Immortals! The biggest WWE event of the year! Tonight is WrestleMania XXVIII live from Miami! And don’t worry Warrior, we will all be watching it or traveling to it by conventional means. It features a pretty solid card of course headlined by a main event that now joins Hogan-Andre, Hogan-Warrior, and Hogan-Rock as one of the biggest main events in WrestleMania history: The Rock vs. John Cena. So to continue what I hope to make a new tradition for the “Big Four” WWE shows (Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, SummerSlam, and Survivor Series), here are some predictions for everybody’s favorite fake sporting event:
Team Johnny (David Otunga, Drew McIntyre, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, & Jack Swagger) vs. Team Teddy (Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, & Booker T): A few thoughts on this match. First, I feel like every year they have a big match like this just to get everybody on the card and usually it is a waste of time. Second, how far the mighty have fallen! A year ago Miz was headlining Mania as WWE Champion now he is reduced to this. Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis and SmackDown GM Teddy Long have put together these gigantic teams and whoever wins becomes GM of both shows. David Otunga is the worst wrestler in the company, as is shown by him having the lowest rating in the WWE ‘12 video game, but is still Johnny Ace’s captain. Christian and Alberto Del Rio were supposed to be on Team Johnny but Christian is still hurt and they felt this match is beneath Del Rio so they took him out of it, and I now have no interest in this match whatsoever. Teddy Long has been an on-screen character for like 10 years. WWE seems to love bastard authority figures so they’ve been high on Johnny Ace and he’s only been around the last few months. There’s nothing more to do with Teddy Long and WWE always wants to replicate the evil Mr. McMahon character from the 90s so Team Johnny will win.
Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix: Yes, that Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood and Extra. Not only is she a die hard Boston Celtics fan, she apparently enjoys doing work with WWE as this is like the third or fourth time she’s appeared at an event. Not to sound like a sexist bastard, but women’s matches are usually always terrible and this will probably be. Kelly Kelly sucks, Eve hasn’t been good from all one match I paid attention to, and Beth Phoenix is awesome. This match has no point other than to be a quick Divas match to kill time with and to get some kind of celebrity involvement. Menounos just broke some ribs doing Dancing with the Stars so I don’t know if she’ll even still be in this match or what. If she is she won’t do much other than probably get the pin. Maria & Kelly Kelly win.
Randy Orton vs. Kane: This is the most pointless match on the card and hopefully will open the show to get it out of the way. Just like Cena’s feud with Kane was done just so Cena would have something to do before The Rock came back, this feud serves no purpose other than to get Orton on WrestleMania. The WWE loves Orton for whatever reason and he has gotten better in the ring than he was when I remember him first getting his super push in 2004. Kane also showed in his matches with Cena that he’s still got some stuff left in the tank and can work, but really this match won’t be that good. I had to look on Wikipedia to find out what these guys are even feuding over since I had no idea. Apparently Kane is upset he shook hands with Orton after a match in JULY OF LAST YEAR because it made him look like a mere mortal and weak. What the hell? Whatever. Even a fake wrestling “news” site which is like The Onion but about wrestling has made jokes about how this match is over nothing. Orton wins.
Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show: I will give Cody Rhodes some credit since I always thought Ted DiBiase Jr. would be the breakout star from Randy Orton’s lame ass stable Legacy. I thought DiBiase had it on the mic and would become this badass heel, but instead he’s become pretty lame. Cody Rhodes, however, has worked his ass off and become a great upper mid-card heel. He is cutting great promos and the WWE is obviously high on him since he’s been Intercontinental Champion since August and was one of the longest participants in the Royal Rumble this year, and had the most eliminations in the match. I have gone from hating Rhodes to actually enjoying his work now. As for Big Show, he has been and remains pretty much my least favorite wrestler ever so I’m not really that pumped for this match since I don’t want to watch 10 minutes of Big Show. I’ve loved Rhodes’ promos going into this match about how Show always loses at WrestleMania and will again. I don’t know why Big Show would win this match since the IC title does nothing for him at all and a loss isn’t what Cody needs right now with this momentum. Cody retains.
World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: Not much to say about this match since it seems pretty cut and dry. Bryan has been a great heel champion. The WWE has done a really good job at building up Bryan’s chickenshit, asshole character. Bryan is one of the greatest technical wrestlers on the planet but seemed lacking in personality, but this run as champ and a bad guy has been so entertaining. He retains the title in ridiculous and cheap ways and it has been fun to watch. Sheamus is the Royal Rumble winner and it has seemed like the WWE has been gearing him up for a good push for a while. It is always possible Bryan retains and his quiet, nerd girlfriend AJ pulls some shenanigans to help him and turns heel but that seems like it would be way too WCW and far more unlikely than Sheamus getting his push. This will likely be a pretty good match, and Sheamus will win the title.
WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: While people probably aren’t as excited for this as they are for HHH-Taker or Rock-Cena, this is probably going to be the match of the night. There are rumors this could open the show, which I find to be idiotic since such a well-built match for the biggest belt in the company should be worth more than the opening slot. A few weeks ago Punk suggested to Jericho that they go out and put on the best technical wrestling match in WrestleMania history. A tall order considering classics like Savage-Steamboat, Angle-Benoit, Angle-Michaels, Jericho-Michaels, Hart-Hart, and Hart-Michaels all have taken place on the grandest stage of them all. Though really if any two performers could go out there and do it, it would be these guys. Jericho has been gold on the mic in this feud. He has spent the last three weeks attacking CM Punk’s family. First, as Punk was in the ring Jericho appeared on the video screen to say he knows Punk is straight edge because his father is an alcoholic. The next week he said he wouldn’t make comments about Punk’s father, but instead brought up Punk’s sister having a substance abuse problem. Then this past Monday he said Punk’s parents got married after Punk was born, making him a bastard. That has caused Punk to go crazy and he has vowed to beat the hell out of Jericho. This should be a great match and will hopefully be a classic, though it isn’t getting the hype it deserves. As for a result, I could buy Jericho winning since the next pay per view is in Chicago, Punk’s hometown, so Punk could chase the title and regain it in front of a rabid hometown audience. That would be a cool way to go, but I still look at it as if it were 2002 and the WWE just hates Jericho and never wants him to win, so CM Punk retains.
Hell in a Cell with Special Referee Shawn Michaels - Triple H vs. Undertaker: The match is being dubbed as “The End of an Era.” Of course this is the end of the Attitude Era, the late-90s era that made the WWF popular again. These two guys are the last ones left from that time period, other than The Rock but when you work one match every seven years it doesn’t count. Also noteworthy is that Undertaker is looking to make his WrestleMania record a ridiculous 20-0. This is a rematch of last year’s bout where Aitches beat Undertaker so bad the Deadman couldn’t stand up but still had enough strength to choke Trips out. Undertaker needs redemption for almost losing, and Triple H needs to prove he’s the man. Shawn Michaels gets inserted since he’s best friends with Triple H and bitter rivals with Undertaker. At Manias 25 and 26 Michaels lost to Taker and retired, so they’ve built drama by making it seem like Michaels may screw over Triple H so he can’t do what Michaels failed to do. At the same time HBK could screw over Taker so he still can be the man who ended the streak. I don’t know if this match will suck, but I expect it to be boring and feature a lot of these guys laying around tired. This will most likely be Undertaker’s last match since he literally has nothing left to do. He takes off 10 months then comes back to hype up WrestleMania, win, then take off another 10 months. It has been that way for a couple years now. He’s in no kind of shape, had to shave his head since he’s balding so bad, looks too weak to stand after matches, and really he has nothing left to do. This will be a long match, Shawn Michaels will superkick somebody, and Undertaker goes 20-0. The bigger prediction here is from the start of the entrances all the way to the final pinfall or submission, how long will this entire thing be? I’m saying 56 minutes. Yes, nearly an hour of a four hour program is going to this.
Once In a Liftetime (Until they do a rematch at next year’s Mania) The Rock vs John Cena: I’ve written about how the build to this match absolutely sucked for months since they announced this match a year ago. The Rock has only been around to promote it this last month, and as sick as this is to say I’ve actually enjoyed the fact the WWE has had Cena get the better of him in their promos. This is all intentional since WWE doesn’t want Cena getting booed too bad at Mania so they’ve had him come across as the “real” person and Rock look like Hollywood. The crowd is going to be as insane as they were for Rock-Hogan ten years ago. Maybe even more insane since this is in Miami, The Great One’s hometown. This is going to be a very pro-Rock crowd because it is Miami, because of nostalgia, and because there are a lot of people who are still mad Cena has been shoved down everybody’s throats as the new Hogan or even the new Rock. The match itself is not going to be very good. I know Rock has been working hard to get back in ring shape and all, but he was never a particularly great worker in his prime and the fact he’s worked one match since WrestleMania XX doesn’t make me think he’s improved. Cena is also not a particularly great worker though he has gotten better over the last few years. There will be some power moves, a lot of rest holds, and they will probably both kick out of a few of each other’s finishers. A lot of people think Cena turns heel and Rock wins, but I don’t buy it. Cena moves too much merch to turn him heel, and while that would be cool and would bring some freshness to Cena’s character the WWE never goes with the obvious or cool move. There are rumors of a rematch next year at Mania so that is sparking theories that Rock wins tonight then returns the favor next year. I feel people are adding more drama to this match than necessary. Also there are some rumblings of a former WWE star being re-signed (Potential Spoiler Alert?) so if that is true maybe that will have an effect on this match. If not, then it is pretty simple to me: Hogan did the job for Rock at X-8, and Hogan NEVER loses, so it only makes sense that the guy who was more than willing to put anybody over back in the day does it again. You have to put over the current generation, so Cena wins.
So that's it. It should be a pretty fun show since the top four matches are all pretty solid. And there are rumors that my boy Batista is going to be making a return tonight. I hope that's true since the last time I was this pumped for a Mania, I was in 8th grade and Batista was facing Triple H for the World Championship. Either way, it isn't every WrestleMania where you get one of the biggest main events of all time so tonight is pretty monumental.
Team Johnny (David Otunga, Drew McIntyre, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, & Jack Swagger) vs. Team Teddy (Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, & Booker T): A few thoughts on this match. First, I feel like every year they have a big match like this just to get everybody on the card and usually it is a waste of time. Second, how far the mighty have fallen! A year ago Miz was headlining Mania as WWE Champion now he is reduced to this. Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis and SmackDown GM Teddy Long have put together these gigantic teams and whoever wins becomes GM of both shows. David Otunga is the worst wrestler in the company, as is shown by him having the lowest rating in the WWE ‘12 video game, but is still Johnny Ace’s captain. Christian and Alberto Del Rio were supposed to be on Team Johnny but Christian is still hurt and they felt this match is beneath Del Rio so they took him out of it, and I now have no interest in this match whatsoever. Teddy Long has been an on-screen character for like 10 years. WWE seems to love bastard authority figures so they’ve been high on Johnny Ace and he’s only been around the last few months. There’s nothing more to do with Teddy Long and WWE always wants to replicate the evil Mr. McMahon character from the 90s so Team Johnny will win.
Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix: Yes, that Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood and Extra. Not only is she a die hard Boston Celtics fan, she apparently enjoys doing work with WWE as this is like the third or fourth time she’s appeared at an event. Not to sound like a sexist bastard, but women’s matches are usually always terrible and this will probably be. Kelly Kelly sucks, Eve hasn’t been good from all one match I paid attention to, and Beth Phoenix is awesome. This match has no point other than to be a quick Divas match to kill time with and to get some kind of celebrity involvement. Menounos just broke some ribs doing Dancing with the Stars so I don’t know if she’ll even still be in this match or what. If she is she won’t do much other than probably get the pin. Maria & Kelly Kelly win.
Randy Orton vs. Kane: This is the most pointless match on the card and hopefully will open the show to get it out of the way. Just like Cena’s feud with Kane was done just so Cena would have something to do before The Rock came back, this feud serves no purpose other than to get Orton on WrestleMania. The WWE loves Orton for whatever reason and he has gotten better in the ring than he was when I remember him first getting his super push in 2004. Kane also showed in his matches with Cena that he’s still got some stuff left in the tank and can work, but really this match won’t be that good. I had to look on Wikipedia to find out what these guys are even feuding over since I had no idea. Apparently Kane is upset he shook hands with Orton after a match in JULY OF LAST YEAR because it made him look like a mere mortal and weak. What the hell? Whatever. Even a fake wrestling “news” site which is like The Onion but about wrestling has made jokes about how this match is over nothing. Orton wins.
Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show: I will give Cody Rhodes some credit since I always thought Ted DiBiase Jr. would be the breakout star from Randy Orton’s lame ass stable Legacy. I thought DiBiase had it on the mic and would become this badass heel, but instead he’s become pretty lame. Cody Rhodes, however, has worked his ass off and become a great upper mid-card heel. He is cutting great promos and the WWE is obviously high on him since he’s been Intercontinental Champion since August and was one of the longest participants in the Royal Rumble this year, and had the most eliminations in the match. I have gone from hating Rhodes to actually enjoying his work now. As for Big Show, he has been and remains pretty much my least favorite wrestler ever so I’m not really that pumped for this match since I don’t want to watch 10 minutes of Big Show. I’ve loved Rhodes’ promos going into this match about how Show always loses at WrestleMania and will again. I don’t know why Big Show would win this match since the IC title does nothing for him at all and a loss isn’t what Cody needs right now with this momentum. Cody retains.
World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: Not much to say about this match since it seems pretty cut and dry. Bryan has been a great heel champion. The WWE has done a really good job at building up Bryan’s chickenshit, asshole character. Bryan is one of the greatest technical wrestlers on the planet but seemed lacking in personality, but this run as champ and a bad guy has been so entertaining. He retains the title in ridiculous and cheap ways and it has been fun to watch. Sheamus is the Royal Rumble winner and it has seemed like the WWE has been gearing him up for a good push for a while. It is always possible Bryan retains and his quiet, nerd girlfriend AJ pulls some shenanigans to help him and turns heel but that seems like it would be way too WCW and far more unlikely than Sheamus getting his push. This will likely be a pretty good match, and Sheamus will win the title.
WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: While people probably aren’t as excited for this as they are for HHH-Taker or Rock-Cena, this is probably going to be the match of the night. There are rumors this could open the show, which I find to be idiotic since such a well-built match for the biggest belt in the company should be worth more than the opening slot. A few weeks ago Punk suggested to Jericho that they go out and put on the best technical wrestling match in WrestleMania history. A tall order considering classics like Savage-Steamboat, Angle-Benoit, Angle-Michaels, Jericho-Michaels, Hart-Hart, and Hart-Michaels all have taken place on the grandest stage of them all. Though really if any two performers could go out there and do it, it would be these guys. Jericho has been gold on the mic in this feud. He has spent the last three weeks attacking CM Punk’s family. First, as Punk was in the ring Jericho appeared on the video screen to say he knows Punk is straight edge because his father is an alcoholic. The next week he said he wouldn’t make comments about Punk’s father, but instead brought up Punk’s sister having a substance abuse problem. Then this past Monday he said Punk’s parents got married after Punk was born, making him a bastard. That has caused Punk to go crazy and he has vowed to beat the hell out of Jericho. This should be a great match and will hopefully be a classic, though it isn’t getting the hype it deserves. As for a result, I could buy Jericho winning since the next pay per view is in Chicago, Punk’s hometown, so Punk could chase the title and regain it in front of a rabid hometown audience. That would be a cool way to go, but I still look at it as if it were 2002 and the WWE just hates Jericho and never wants him to win, so CM Punk retains.
Hell in a Cell with Special Referee Shawn Michaels - Triple H vs. Undertaker: The match is being dubbed as “The End of an Era.” Of course this is the end of the Attitude Era, the late-90s era that made the WWF popular again. These two guys are the last ones left from that time period, other than The Rock but when you work one match every seven years it doesn’t count. Also noteworthy is that Undertaker is looking to make his WrestleMania record a ridiculous 20-0. This is a rematch of last year’s bout where Aitches beat Undertaker so bad the Deadman couldn’t stand up but still had enough strength to choke Trips out. Undertaker needs redemption for almost losing, and Triple H needs to prove he’s the man. Shawn Michaels gets inserted since he’s best friends with Triple H and bitter rivals with Undertaker. At Manias 25 and 26 Michaels lost to Taker and retired, so they’ve built drama by making it seem like Michaels may screw over Triple H so he can’t do what Michaels failed to do. At the same time HBK could screw over Taker so he still can be the man who ended the streak. I don’t know if this match will suck, but I expect it to be boring and feature a lot of these guys laying around tired. This will most likely be Undertaker’s last match since he literally has nothing left to do. He takes off 10 months then comes back to hype up WrestleMania, win, then take off another 10 months. It has been that way for a couple years now. He’s in no kind of shape, had to shave his head since he’s balding so bad, looks too weak to stand after matches, and really he has nothing left to do. This will be a long match, Shawn Michaels will superkick somebody, and Undertaker goes 20-0. The bigger prediction here is from the start of the entrances all the way to the final pinfall or submission, how long will this entire thing be? I’m saying 56 minutes. Yes, nearly an hour of a four hour program is going to this.
Once In a Liftetime (Until they do a rematch at next year’s Mania) The Rock vs John Cena: I’ve written about how the build to this match absolutely sucked for months since they announced this match a year ago. The Rock has only been around to promote it this last month, and as sick as this is to say I’ve actually enjoyed the fact the WWE has had Cena get the better of him in their promos. This is all intentional since WWE doesn’t want Cena getting booed too bad at Mania so they’ve had him come across as the “real” person and Rock look like Hollywood. The crowd is going to be as insane as they were for Rock-Hogan ten years ago. Maybe even more insane since this is in Miami, The Great One’s hometown. This is going to be a very pro-Rock crowd because it is Miami, because of nostalgia, and because there are a lot of people who are still mad Cena has been shoved down everybody’s throats as the new Hogan or even the new Rock. The match itself is not going to be very good. I know Rock has been working hard to get back in ring shape and all, but he was never a particularly great worker in his prime and the fact he’s worked one match since WrestleMania XX doesn’t make me think he’s improved. Cena is also not a particularly great worker though he has gotten better over the last few years. There will be some power moves, a lot of rest holds, and they will probably both kick out of a few of each other’s finishers. A lot of people think Cena turns heel and Rock wins, but I don’t buy it. Cena moves too much merch to turn him heel, and while that would be cool and would bring some freshness to Cena’s character the WWE never goes with the obvious or cool move. There are rumors of a rematch next year at Mania so that is sparking theories that Rock wins tonight then returns the favor next year. I feel people are adding more drama to this match than necessary. Also there are some rumblings of a former WWE star being re-signed (Potential Spoiler Alert?) so if that is true maybe that will have an effect on this match. If not, then it is pretty simple to me: Hogan did the job for Rock at X-8, and Hogan NEVER loses, so it only makes sense that the guy who was more than willing to put anybody over back in the day does it again. You have to put over the current generation, so Cena wins.
So that's it. It should be a pretty fun show since the top four matches are all pretty solid. And there are rumors that my boy Batista is going to be making a return tonight. I hope that's true since the last time I was this pumped for a Mania, I was in 8th grade and Batista was facing Triple H for the World Championship. Either way, it isn't every WrestleMania where you get one of the biggest main events of all time so tonight is pretty monumental.
Monday, February 27, 2012
What a Difference 23 Years Makes: The WWE and the Lost Art of Building an Epic Main Event
The year was 1989. It was WWF WrestleMania V live from the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City. The main event was the culmination of a year of booking: Hulk Hogan taking on WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage in a match between the two biggest guys in the business billed as “The Mega Powers Explode.” It took the WWF exactly one year to get to the match and the build worked perfectly. Over the course of a year we saw Savage and Hogan become partners, beat the hell out of the bad guys, and ultimately become arch enemies. As far as feuds taking place over the course of a year go, it is the greatest thing the WWF, now WWE, has ever done.
It all began at WrestleMania IV, also in Trump Plaza. After Andre the Giant defeated Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship in controversial fashion on The Main Event, it was revealed The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase orchestrated the entire thing so Andre would sell him the belt. The championship was vacated and a tournament was scheduled for Mania. Hogan and Andre were both disqualified during their match, giving Ted DiBiase a bye on his way to the finals. On the other side of the bracket, Savage had to overcome the gigantic One Man Gang and was drained going into his match up with DiBiase to crown the new champion. The Million Dollar Man brought Andre down to the ring with him and the Giant continually interfered in the match. Savage’s manager, Miss Elizabeth, ran backstage and emerged a few moments later with Hulk Hogan.
Hogan helped Savage win the match and The Mega Powers team was formed. At SummerSlam, The Mega Powers beat Andre and DiBiase and began to dominate the wrestling scene. However, while Hogan and Savage did beat all comers, trouble was brewing within the team. Savage was becoming upset with the way Hogan would act towards Elizabeth. He felt Hogan was acting overly friendly toward his woman. As if fear over Hogan stealing his woman wasn’t enough, Hogan accidentally eliminated Savage in the 1989 Royal Rumble. The nail in the coffin occurred a few weeks later on another edition of The Main Event and the stage was set for a WrestleMania showdown between the company’s biggest stars.
Savage and Hogan were up against a team known as the Twin Towers, Akeem and the Big Boss Man. Savage was thrown out of the ring during the match and landed on Elizabeth, knocking her out. Hogan carried Elizabeth to the back, leaving Savage to fend for himself against the two massive competitors for a few minutes. When Hogan came back, Savage tagged him in by slapping him in the face, took his championship, and left. After Hogan defeated the Towers, he went to the back to check on Elizabeth again only to find Macho Man there. Savage then accused Hogan of lusting for Elizabeth and the WWF Championship while Hogan told him to relax. Macho hit Hogan with the belt and proceeded to beat the hell out of him.
It was a brilliant drama that unfolded over the course of a year. Before Hogan went out for his match with Savage he did an interview with Mean Gene Okerlund preceded by a video package chronicling the exploits of The Mega Powers. When the video ended, Okerlund exclaimed, “What a difference a year makes!” Hogan then proceeded to cut the best promo of his career, summing up what happened during that year and explaining the magnitude of their match.
Of course there was no doubt Hogan would win since Hogan always won and it was the only thing that made sense in terms of the storyline, but the build up to the Mega Powers exploding was still epic. The two biggest stars in the company right at the top for an entire year with the biggest prize in the business between them. It was brilliant booking and it culminated in an intense WrestleMania match tying up a year’s worth of storylines. It was perfect story telling by the WWF and something we’ve seen they could never match with a year to work.
This is most evidenced by the main event of WrestleMania XXVIII this year being billed as the biggest main event in the history of the WWE: John Cena vs. The Rock. The WWE will tell you this is going to be a war and we should all be excited, but unless you are a little kid it is hard to buy anything other than Cena winning. The WWE made this match literally the day after WrestleMania XXVII and the build has been piss poor considering they have had a year to craft an epic story but have instead done nothing but tie up the main event of the biggest show of the year with an underwhelming match.
The Rock, now Dwayne Johnson to the public since he’s a movie star, made his heroic return to the WWE last year on Valentine’s Day when it was announced he was the guest host of last year’s Mania. He came out to one of the biggest pops in history. Instantly grown men were transformed into little kids, jumping up and down and swinging their arms like weirdos. The Rock then cut a promo saying he was back for the fans and it is because of them he would never leave again. He missed a few episodes of Raw leading to WrestleMania. At Mania he hit Cena with the Rock Bottom, costing him the WWE Championship, and stood tall to end the show. The next night on Raw he extended the challenge to Cena for WrestleMania XXVIII, in Rock’s hometown of Miami. Cena accepted, and Rocky was off WWE TV until his birthday in May and then made sporadic appearances via pre-taped promos.
Finally in the fall he came back to team with Cena at Survivor Series and demolish The Miz and R. Truth. He appeared on the episode of Raw right before the pay per view, then was gone after hitting another Rock Bottom on Cena to end Survivor Series.
The Rock will be on Raw tonight but has yet to appear on WWE television in person this year since he is making movies, despite having the biggest spot on the biggest card of the year. This is a huge problem as it makes building a match extremely difficult when you make it a year in advance then only one guy is around to promote it. Another issue is the fact The Rock has buried Cena in every promo he’s cut. Granted it has been cool to hear the biggest star from my generation say Cena is lame as hell, but in build up to a match it sucks because when Rocky loses he’s just lost to a guy he’s made look like absolute crap for a year.
But still the biggest issue is the fact The Rock is hardly around but yet was given the main event at the biggest show a year in advance. This has angered many, and for good reason. The issue of course is not with the match itself. It is a brilliant business decision since The Rock is one of the three biggest stars in the history of the business along with Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan. This match also gets a lot of older fans who don’t pay attention to the product as much anymore to tune back in since the big star of their generation is back to do battle with the big star of the current generation. Nostalgia always works.
Booking a match publicly, one year in advance ties up too many things in terms of storylines and of course upsets too many of the workers. The Rock is not even a regular performer anymore but WWE just placed him above work horses like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. Granted even if the build to this match started in January of this year it would still be the main event, but having it announced only a month or two in advance would be better than essentially declaring an entire year’s worth of storylines is useless since Cena and Rock will be at the top of the big show no matter what.
When Punk cut his now legendary “worked shoot” promo back in June, he said it made him sick that The Rock was given the main event at WrestleMania a year in advance. This promo of course starts the chain of events that makes the Rock-Cena super fight a little less epic. For years now Cena has been getting booed, and of course when face-to-face with one of the biggest stars ever in The Rock he gets booed a lot, but once Punk became the number one contender to Cena’s WWE title last June, his spot in the company changed drastically. Punk’s promo got him over with the fans like nothing we’ve seen in a long time and the rest is history. Punk beats Cena for the WWE Championship and is cheered as a hero everywhere they go, making the WWE’s top guy not look like the superhero they always want him to be. It diminished Cena’s star power a little bit and turned Punk into the must-see guy.
But the problem with all of that was that no matter how bad things got for Cena, you knew he wouldn’t really lose that bad or anything since he had to be kept looking strong for his match with The Rock. He also foolishly stayed in the title picture since he wanted to make his match with The Rock for the WWE title. This is silly since if The Rock were to win he would be off TV for like a year so there would be no way the belt is defended. When Cena fought in a Hell in a Cell against Alberto Del Rio and Punk they made it seem like everything was at stake for Cena but there was no real suspense. No matter what happened you knew Cena would be fine since he was just keeping busy while we all waited for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s return.
This was especially true for the absolutely dreadful feud Cena just finished up with Kane. Kane continually jumped Cena and his friend Zack Ryder because he was upset Cena won’t embrace the hate of the WWE fans or something that didn’t make sense like that. They milked this awful crap for two months just so Cena and Kane both had something to do. When it all culminated in an ambulance match two weeks ago at Elimination Chamber, it was so obvious Cena would be fine since the push for WrestleMania started the next night on Raw and of course he’s going to look like a beast when the hype for his match with The Rock starts up.
And it is pretty bad that since WrestleMania XX, The Rock has only worked one match and that was Survivor Series this past November. So I’m supposed to believe the guy who is working every week, night in and night out, is going to get his ass wrecked by a guy who has done more Disney movies than wrestling matches in the last eight years? Of course since it is professional wrestling we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief, but taking that sort of thing into account makes it pretty easy to figure out what is going to happen at Mania. Just look at The Rock’s match with Hogan ten years ago to see how this will be.
Hogan had not been in the WWE for eight years and The Rock was the biggest star in the business. They faced off at WrestleMania and the crowd was behind Hogan out of nostalgia, but you’ve got to put over the new generation so Hogan did the job for Rock. The exact same thing is happening now. What was better about the build for Rock-Hogan though was the fact they announced it one month in advance, not a year.
If they wanted to do a year-long build for Rock-Cena, you don’t announce the match the night after Mania last year, you just have The Rock make appearances in person throughout the year bickering with Cena and working a couple matches here and there so he seems like he’s actually part of the roster. Then at the Royal Rumble in January you have them eliminate each other in some sort of shenanigans so the next night on Raw they challenge each other to an epic Mania showdown, and you do a contract signing at Elimination Chamber to build the tension, then at Mania you can sum up a year’s worth of conflict. Instead it was like they announced the match a year in advance to sell tickets faster and this lack of appearances makes it seem like The Rock just wants a big paycheck.
The match was put into perspective by Cena last week on Raw. He cut a shoot promo on The Rock where he essentially summed up why he is going to win at WrestleMania and why it would only make sense for him to win, killing all suspense associated with the match if anybody thought Cena’s win was in doubt. Cena talked about how The Rock left the WWE to make movies and how he has an entourage now to do everything for him. He talked about how The Rock will come out, get the crowd fired up, then will leave for Hollywood again. Cena called The Rock out for only returning to promote his Twitter account and had a classic line about how the best part of this feud will be that the week after WrestleMania, when The Rock will be filming another movie while Cena is on Raw still.
The internet has also hurt the build to this match because you can go to Dwayne Johnson’s IMDb page and see he has five movies in the works right now so you know his time in WWE is not going to last. He is going to come out at WrestleMania, do the job to Cena, come out the next night on Raw, give Cena props, then be gone again. It is a turn of events that could have been built up in two months but instead the WWE has given it 12, and in turn weakened a year’s worth of events because it was already set in stone that only one man in the world poses a true threat to Cena.
WWE wanted this to be an epic build to an epic conflict, but instead it seems forced and lame and makes you think The Rock isn’t totally in this for the fans like he claims since he has made few attempts to really promote the match. It only makes sense for Cena to win, and Cena is likely going to win. When Hogan and Savage squared off after a year in the spotlight it was the natural progression of an angle culminating at the year’s biggest event and was a great business move. Rock-Cena is a strained and forced attempt at selling as many tickets and pay per views as possible. It is a great business move, but in terms of storylines it solves absolutely nothing but proves that Vince McMahon and Co. still have no idea how to book in this era even though they used to be great at it two decades ago.
It all began at WrestleMania IV, also in Trump Plaza. After Andre the Giant defeated Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship in controversial fashion on The Main Event, it was revealed The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase orchestrated the entire thing so Andre would sell him the belt. The championship was vacated and a tournament was scheduled for Mania. Hogan and Andre were both disqualified during their match, giving Ted DiBiase a bye on his way to the finals. On the other side of the bracket, Savage had to overcome the gigantic One Man Gang and was drained going into his match up with DiBiase to crown the new champion. The Million Dollar Man brought Andre down to the ring with him and the Giant continually interfered in the match. Savage’s manager, Miss Elizabeth, ran backstage and emerged a few moments later with Hulk Hogan.
Hogan helped Savage win the match and The Mega Powers team was formed. At SummerSlam, The Mega Powers beat Andre and DiBiase and began to dominate the wrestling scene. However, while Hogan and Savage did beat all comers, trouble was brewing within the team. Savage was becoming upset with the way Hogan would act towards Elizabeth. He felt Hogan was acting overly friendly toward his woman. As if fear over Hogan stealing his woman wasn’t enough, Hogan accidentally eliminated Savage in the 1989 Royal Rumble. The nail in the coffin occurred a few weeks later on another edition of The Main Event and the stage was set for a WrestleMania showdown between the company’s biggest stars.
Savage and Hogan were up against a team known as the Twin Towers, Akeem and the Big Boss Man. Savage was thrown out of the ring during the match and landed on Elizabeth, knocking her out. Hogan carried Elizabeth to the back, leaving Savage to fend for himself against the two massive competitors for a few minutes. When Hogan came back, Savage tagged him in by slapping him in the face, took his championship, and left. After Hogan defeated the Towers, he went to the back to check on Elizabeth again only to find Macho Man there. Savage then accused Hogan of lusting for Elizabeth and the WWF Championship while Hogan told him to relax. Macho hit Hogan with the belt and proceeded to beat the hell out of him.
It was a brilliant drama that unfolded over the course of a year. Before Hogan went out for his match with Savage he did an interview with Mean Gene Okerlund preceded by a video package chronicling the exploits of The Mega Powers. When the video ended, Okerlund exclaimed, “What a difference a year makes!” Hogan then proceeded to cut the best promo of his career, summing up what happened during that year and explaining the magnitude of their match.
Of course there was no doubt Hogan would win since Hogan always won and it was the only thing that made sense in terms of the storyline, but the build up to the Mega Powers exploding was still epic. The two biggest stars in the company right at the top for an entire year with the biggest prize in the business between them. It was brilliant booking and it culminated in an intense WrestleMania match tying up a year’s worth of storylines. It was perfect story telling by the WWF and something we’ve seen they could never match with a year to work.
This is most evidenced by the main event of WrestleMania XXVIII this year being billed as the biggest main event in the history of the WWE: John Cena vs. The Rock. The WWE will tell you this is going to be a war and we should all be excited, but unless you are a little kid it is hard to buy anything other than Cena winning. The WWE made this match literally the day after WrestleMania XXVII and the build has been piss poor considering they have had a year to craft an epic story but have instead done nothing but tie up the main event of the biggest show of the year with an underwhelming match.
The Rock, now Dwayne Johnson to the public since he’s a movie star, made his heroic return to the WWE last year on Valentine’s Day when it was announced he was the guest host of last year’s Mania. He came out to one of the biggest pops in history. Instantly grown men were transformed into little kids, jumping up and down and swinging their arms like weirdos. The Rock then cut a promo saying he was back for the fans and it is because of them he would never leave again. He missed a few episodes of Raw leading to WrestleMania. At Mania he hit Cena with the Rock Bottom, costing him the WWE Championship, and stood tall to end the show. The next night on Raw he extended the challenge to Cena for WrestleMania XXVIII, in Rock’s hometown of Miami. Cena accepted, and Rocky was off WWE TV until his birthday in May and then made sporadic appearances via pre-taped promos.
Finally in the fall he came back to team with Cena at Survivor Series and demolish The Miz and R. Truth. He appeared on the episode of Raw right before the pay per view, then was gone after hitting another Rock Bottom on Cena to end Survivor Series.
The Rock will be on Raw tonight but has yet to appear on WWE television in person this year since he is making movies, despite having the biggest spot on the biggest card of the year. This is a huge problem as it makes building a match extremely difficult when you make it a year in advance then only one guy is around to promote it. Another issue is the fact The Rock has buried Cena in every promo he’s cut. Granted it has been cool to hear the biggest star from my generation say Cena is lame as hell, but in build up to a match it sucks because when Rocky loses he’s just lost to a guy he’s made look like absolute crap for a year.
But still the biggest issue is the fact The Rock is hardly around but yet was given the main event at the biggest show a year in advance. This has angered many, and for good reason. The issue of course is not with the match itself. It is a brilliant business decision since The Rock is one of the three biggest stars in the history of the business along with Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan. This match also gets a lot of older fans who don’t pay attention to the product as much anymore to tune back in since the big star of their generation is back to do battle with the big star of the current generation. Nostalgia always works.
Booking a match publicly, one year in advance ties up too many things in terms of storylines and of course upsets too many of the workers. The Rock is not even a regular performer anymore but WWE just placed him above work horses like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. Granted even if the build to this match started in January of this year it would still be the main event, but having it announced only a month or two in advance would be better than essentially declaring an entire year’s worth of storylines is useless since Cena and Rock will be at the top of the big show no matter what.
When Punk cut his now legendary “worked shoot” promo back in June, he said it made him sick that The Rock was given the main event at WrestleMania a year in advance. This promo of course starts the chain of events that makes the Rock-Cena super fight a little less epic. For years now Cena has been getting booed, and of course when face-to-face with one of the biggest stars ever in The Rock he gets booed a lot, but once Punk became the number one contender to Cena’s WWE title last June, his spot in the company changed drastically. Punk’s promo got him over with the fans like nothing we’ve seen in a long time and the rest is history. Punk beats Cena for the WWE Championship and is cheered as a hero everywhere they go, making the WWE’s top guy not look like the superhero they always want him to be. It diminished Cena’s star power a little bit and turned Punk into the must-see guy.
But the problem with all of that was that no matter how bad things got for Cena, you knew he wouldn’t really lose that bad or anything since he had to be kept looking strong for his match with The Rock. He also foolishly stayed in the title picture since he wanted to make his match with The Rock for the WWE title. This is silly since if The Rock were to win he would be off TV for like a year so there would be no way the belt is defended. When Cena fought in a Hell in a Cell against Alberto Del Rio and Punk they made it seem like everything was at stake for Cena but there was no real suspense. No matter what happened you knew Cena would be fine since he was just keeping busy while we all waited for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s return.
This was especially true for the absolutely dreadful feud Cena just finished up with Kane. Kane continually jumped Cena and his friend Zack Ryder because he was upset Cena won’t embrace the hate of the WWE fans or something that didn’t make sense like that. They milked this awful crap for two months just so Cena and Kane both had something to do. When it all culminated in an ambulance match two weeks ago at Elimination Chamber, it was so obvious Cena would be fine since the push for WrestleMania started the next night on Raw and of course he’s going to look like a beast when the hype for his match with The Rock starts up.
And it is pretty bad that since WrestleMania XX, The Rock has only worked one match and that was Survivor Series this past November. So I’m supposed to believe the guy who is working every week, night in and night out, is going to get his ass wrecked by a guy who has done more Disney movies than wrestling matches in the last eight years? Of course since it is professional wrestling we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief, but taking that sort of thing into account makes it pretty easy to figure out what is going to happen at Mania. Just look at The Rock’s match with Hogan ten years ago to see how this will be.
Hogan had not been in the WWE for eight years and The Rock was the biggest star in the business. They faced off at WrestleMania and the crowd was behind Hogan out of nostalgia, but you’ve got to put over the new generation so Hogan did the job for Rock. The exact same thing is happening now. What was better about the build for Rock-Hogan though was the fact they announced it one month in advance, not a year.
If they wanted to do a year-long build for Rock-Cena, you don’t announce the match the night after Mania last year, you just have The Rock make appearances in person throughout the year bickering with Cena and working a couple matches here and there so he seems like he’s actually part of the roster. Then at the Royal Rumble in January you have them eliminate each other in some sort of shenanigans so the next night on Raw they challenge each other to an epic Mania showdown, and you do a contract signing at Elimination Chamber to build the tension, then at Mania you can sum up a year’s worth of conflict. Instead it was like they announced the match a year in advance to sell tickets faster and this lack of appearances makes it seem like The Rock just wants a big paycheck.
The match was put into perspective by Cena last week on Raw. He cut a shoot promo on The Rock where he essentially summed up why he is going to win at WrestleMania and why it would only make sense for him to win, killing all suspense associated with the match if anybody thought Cena’s win was in doubt. Cena talked about how The Rock left the WWE to make movies and how he has an entourage now to do everything for him. He talked about how The Rock will come out, get the crowd fired up, then will leave for Hollywood again. Cena called The Rock out for only returning to promote his Twitter account and had a classic line about how the best part of this feud will be that the week after WrestleMania, when The Rock will be filming another movie while Cena is on Raw still.
The internet has also hurt the build to this match because you can go to Dwayne Johnson’s IMDb page and see he has five movies in the works right now so you know his time in WWE is not going to last. He is going to come out at WrestleMania, do the job to Cena, come out the next night on Raw, give Cena props, then be gone again. It is a turn of events that could have been built up in two months but instead the WWE has given it 12, and in turn weakened a year’s worth of events because it was already set in stone that only one man in the world poses a true threat to Cena.
WWE wanted this to be an epic build to an epic conflict, but instead it seems forced and lame and makes you think The Rock isn’t totally in this for the fans like he claims since he has made few attempts to really promote the match. It only makes sense for Cena to win, and Cena is likely going to win. When Hogan and Savage squared off after a year in the spotlight it was the natural progression of an angle culminating at the year’s biggest event and was a great business move. Rock-Cena is a strained and forced attempt at selling as many tickets and pay per views as possible. It is a great business move, but in terms of storylines it solves absolutely nothing but proves that Vince McMahon and Co. still have no idea how to book in this era even though they used to be great at it two decades ago.
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