We are just days away from WrestleMania 29! With three predictable main events on tap, WWE is either headed for a completely mediocre show or they might surprise us all and do some totally unexpected things. There is a lot to say, so I’m just going to get right to it.
THE UNDERCARD
Pre-Show Match – Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett vs. The Miz:
There is absolutely no point in having this match other than giving these guys something to do and having a match on the pre-show. Winner: Wade Barrett I guess? But they are high on Miz now. It doesn’t matter, if this match was so important it would have made the pay per view.
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango:
Fandango’s gimmick is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen: a dancer who is angry that people don’t say his name right. Luckily Chris Jericho is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time and can carry anybody to a good match and make them look good. I’ve heard Fandango is a pretty good worker so even though this match will be short it will probably be solid. Jericho is my favorite wrestler of all time so it makes be sad, but his returns are all about making the new generation look good so very likely no surprises here. Winner: Fandango
Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhodes Scholars and the Bella Twins:
An 8-person mixed-tag with the idiotic pairing of Tensai and Brodus Clay with their dancers Cameron and Naomi against one of the best tag teams WWE has and the Bella Twins. Tensai used to be Albert, then A-Train and is one of my least favorite wrestlers ever. This match is going to be like 6 minutes long and I couldn’t care any less about it. This will be a definite “check how your fantasy baseball and basketball teams are doing” match. Winner: Team Rhodes Scholars
Ryback vs. Mark Henry:
This is going to be the worst match of the night easily, and only the second worst thing we will see behind Diddy’s musical performance. They will try real hard and in a video game this would be the sickest match ever since they could just smash shit. That won’t be how it goes down in real life. There will be some power moves, Ryback will try to lift Henry for Shellshock and will probably botch it and we’ll hear Cole be like, “Did he get all of it? I think he got all of it!” to make it not sound bad. Winner: Ryback
WWE Tag Team Champions Kane and Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston:
I would have figured Team Hell No would be broken up by now and Kane and Bryan would be going head-to-head at this show. But since they’re still together, I don’t see why Ziggler and Big E. would win the belts from them unless Ziggler would cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase later in the night and walk out a double champion. I feel like if Ziggler and Langston win, it is because Team Hell No implodes, and if that happens then who do the new champs feud with? Tensai and Brodus Clay? I can’t imagine them sticking Ziggler in a situation like that when he seems ready for a big push. I see some New Years Revolution 2006 stuff happening here as Ziggler won’t care about losing since he has bigger things on his mind. I am excited to see Ziggler and Bryan working with each other at WrestleMania, though. That should be pretty exciting. Winner: Kane and Daniel Bryan
The Shield vs. Sheamus, Randy Orton, and Big Show:
This should be a pretty entertaining brawl, as all of The Shield’s matches thus far have been. There have been rumors of an Orton heel turn for a while so maybe this is where we finally see it go down, not necessarily as part of The Shield since that would be corny, but maybe they lose and he freaks out. This is one of the matches I am most excited for, and if somebody told me I’d be saying that about a match involving Orton and Big Show I would never have believed it. The Shield has been so entertaining and their hot run isn’t over yet, but more on that later. Winner: The Shield.
THE MAIN EVENTS
For these I will talk about what should happen and what probably will happen since three of the big four matches look mighty predictable and I want to play arm chair booker for a minute here.
World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger:
This match will be good but it is kind of a drag since the WHC is pretty much a secondary belt. It was defended in 18 seconds at last year’s Mania so excuse me if I don’t group it in with the magnitude of the other three remaining bouts. But as for the match itself, yikes man. Swagger’s evil, immigrant-hating, jingoist character is supposed to make him be a super heel, but Del Rio’s run as a face as gotten so stale so quickly people are actually cheering for Swagger some nights. This will probably be one of the better matches of the night since they are both good workers, but I wonder how much the crowd will really care. And with Swagger not getting punished for his DUI I am kind of bummed he still gets such a big match.
What should happen: Swagger should win and get his punishment for the DUI in the form of a shortened title reign when Dolph Ziggler cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase and becomes World Champion.
What probably will happen: Swagger will get his punishment for the DUI in the form of a shortened title reign when Dolph Ziggler cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase and becomes World Champion. WWE has been hesitant to pull the trigger on Ziggler for a while, but he got a big win over Cena at TLC in December, lasted the longest in the Rumble, and now is the time to go for it.
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar, No Holds Barred and if Triple H loses he must retire:
Rant time. I go through phases where I love or hate Triple H, and right now is one of those times I can’t stand him at all. In the time that I have watched wrestling, I’ve seen Trips put people down way more than I’ve seen him put them over. Yes, he can work a great match when you need it but Jim Cornette basically said all that needs to be said about him. It would make perfect sense for Lesnar to win since he is 1-1 in his return and a victory here would allow him to easily enter into more main events going forward. However, since Lesnar got the win at SummerSlam last year and Trips has his career on the line, I don’t see him putting Lesnar over again.
Lesnar needs to win so he is easier to book as an animal. That loss to Cena in his return match was idiotic and that makes me think they won't know how to book him here either. The man was the UFC’s biggest PPV draw and has drawn big for WWE in his return. But we run into a problem. Anybody who acts like aside from putting over Benoit, Batista, and Shelton Benjamin that Triple H doesn’t shit all over people is living a lie since Booker T, RVD, Goldberg, and Cena all were made to look like fools against Trips. Sure Cena got the win at Mania but only after Triple H mocked his wrestling ability and made him look bad. Even Punk had to job to him two years ago despite Triple H not being a full-time guy anymore. He mocked Chris Masters for failing a Wellness test for no reason, and even kicked Wade Barrett in the nuts two weeks ago on Raw just to make himself look like a beast for no reason at all. There is no reason for Triple H to win, which means he probably will win. However, let me just toss in that this or the next match is way more deserving of the final spot on the card than the real main event.
What should happen: A Lesnar victory. You can’t keep booking somebody as a destroyer if he loses more than he wins. Triple H is moving into the front office, and a win here does nothing for him it only hurts Lesnar.
What will happen: HBK, Stephanie McMahon, and Vince McMahon will beat up on Paul Heyman and Triple H will win.
CM Punk vs. The Undertaker, Undertaker looks to go 21-0 at WrestleMania:
This will be one of Undertaker’s last matches, if not his last match. They were unsure if he would even be able to work this show, and the last couple years his matches have involved a lot of laying around tired. I don’t think he was selling a beating from Triple H two years ago, I think they just had him lay around and get smashed with a chair since he was too tired to do anything else. That said, this is the match I am most excited for since I am a huge fan of both and even if Taker can’t go like he used to, I think he’s got one more great match left in him. As messed up as it is to say this, luckily Paul Bearer died or else this feud would have been the most random thing ever. It is still pretty random but at least they have something to fight over other than Undertaker’s undefeated streak. Punk is a tremendous worker, and Undertaker literally takes the entire year off building for just this one night so I think they can do something special as long as Taker is in shape.
Undertaker really doesn’t have much left in the tank and there are all kinds of stories that Punk is banged up so who knows what they are really capable of here, but Taker’s had great Mania matches with Orton, Edge, Michaels twice, even Batista in the last decade so I think he’ll put it all out there to do it again. It is obvious that the streak isn’t going to end here, but that doesn’t make the match any less grand. WrestleMania is Undertaker’s show and working with him there is as big as having a title match. Taker may not be around much longer so we need to enjoy this while we can.
What should happen: Undertaker wins and then retires because he really has nothing left to do.
What will happen: Undertaker wins and doesn’t retire and will have some kind of bad match next year at Mania 30.
WWE Champion The Rock vs. John Cena:
I love Rock, but his current reign as WWE Champion is one of the worst I have seen. He is barely on Raw since he is promoting movies all the time and filming his stupid new reality show. This match doesn’t need the belt. Ryback should have won the Royal Rumble and should be ending CM Punk’s historic title reign at this show, and Rock and Cena could have their rematch from last year’s main event just because. But alas, it is all about money and having Rock as champion is big money for them so you can’t really be mad at WWE for this. The match will be a little lackluster since I think they did all they could do last year so there is nowhere else to take this thing. Cena has been acting a little crazy these last couple weeks, maybe hinting at a heel turn this weekend.
A Cena heel turn would be great since his character is beyond stale. With rumors CM Punk is going to take some time off after Mania, you’ll need a main event heel. Cena turning heel completely changes everything and nobody has to worry about seeing the same feuds over and over since everything will be totally shaken up. This feud has sucked this year since they are saying the same things from last year, only amended to reflect Cena’s loss. The crowd will probably be crapping all over this match since the predictable finish is that Cena will get his win back and the smark crowd will not want to see this.
What should happen: Rock should win or Cena should turn heel and cheat to win. It is so obvious that Cena will win that it can’t happen. You don’t need these guys feuding since WrestleMania 27 in an epic program to just put the most over guy in the company over even more.
What probably will happen: Cena will win clean, setting up a rubber match at Mania 30. It was so obvious Cena was going to win the Royal Rumble and it actually happened. Cena has been force fed down people’s throats for ten years, so no time to stop now. I don’t think WWE will have the stones to turn Cena heel at all, especially on the biggest show of the year.
So that is it. Hopefully we get an exciting show and hopefully we get a few surprises along the way. I mean, I’d like at least one surprise other than that increased PPV price…
Showing posts with label wwe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wwe. Show all posts
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Thursday, May 17, 2012
The Rights and Wrongs in the Sporting World 2: The "I Loathe Miami" Edition
This is a good way to start off this post, even if I don't talk about their late-game fails
The Right:
1. Chan Sung Jung – The Korean Zombie has put himself in the title hunt in the UFC’s featherweight division following a wild victory over Dustin Poirier on Fuel the other night. Zombie seemed to get winded by the time the fourth round came, but he still locked in a d’arce choke and finished Poirier off. It was a great fight with exciting stand-up and grappling, including a wild moment when Poirier took Zombie down, only for Zombie to roll right into a full mount. As far as shows on networks most people don’t get go, this was an exciting main event and Zombie has proven he can deliver an exciting fight every time. His fights against Leonard Garcia, especially the second one in which he submitted Garcia with the twister, were both entertaining and his seven second knockout of Mark Hominick was wild as well. Of course Jung wouldn’t stand much of a chance against featherweight king Jose Aldo, but really would anybody? Jung-Aldo would be an exciting fight and if you through that on the next UFC on Fox and build it up right it can be a good ratings boost and people would love it.
2. Kevin Garnett and Tim Duncan – Two of the greatest power forwards of all time, both in the twilight of their careers, have turned the clock back as of late. I have written about how Duncan is amazing here before, but after reading Chris Ballard’s piece on Timmy for Sports Illustrated I like him even more. The best statistic mentioned in the article is the .702 winning percentage the Spurs have had with Duncan, a percentage unmatched in the last 15 years by any other team in any sport. Even in NBA history there has not been such a run. Ballard touches on this for Duncan but it goes for Garnett as well, as both men played fewer minutes per game this season, but if you look at their per 36 minute stats their numbers are right in line with their stellar career marks. Duncan absolutely shit on Blake Griffin and the Clippers in Game 1 of their second round series, hanging 26 and 10 with 2 blocks and 2 steals on them. Garnett is averaging 20 and 11 (I may have done that math wrong) through the nine games Boston has played thus far. On the third page of that Ballard article he points out how Duncan loathes KG, but it is nice to see the rivals both stepping up their game.
3. CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan – I will not be watching WWE’s Over the Limit pay per view this Sunday as it is expensive and the card doesn’t appeal to me, but Punk and Bryan are going to put on an awesome WWE Championship match. Bryan is the best technical wrestler on the face of the planet, winning Wrestling Observer’s award for that for the last seven years, and Punk is high up on the list. WWE markets everything around John Cena and he’ll have a stupid match with Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis, but for the Internet Wrestling Community this WWE title match is going to be the true selling point. They’ve worked matches before, in Ring of Honor and the WWE on Raw, but to have the two best guys working a match for the biggest title in the biggest wrestling company on pay per view is what it’s all about. I will definitely be ordering a replay of the show for Bryan-Punk alone.
4. The Return of Paul E. – WWE brought back Brock Lesnar, jobbed him to John Cena, had him “break” Triple H’s arm the next night on Raw, then the next week Lesnar has his legal council announce he had quit the company. Who would be Lesnar’s legal council? None other than the greatest mind in the history of the business, Paul Heyman. Heyman was the head of the now-defunct Extreme Championship Wrestling in the ‘90s. ECW’s hardcore, edgy style was ripped off by the WWE for their “Attitude Era” and WCW mastermind Eric Bischoff hired guys like Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero away from Heyman. He wasn’t a good enough businessman to keep ECW going, but he was brilliant at booking and as an on-screen character. Jim Ross loved doing commentary with him, and as Brock Lesnar’s manager and General Manager of SmackDown he was so entertaining. His mic skills are better than most wrestler’s, and his shoot promo on Vince McMahon is one of the greatest promos in wrestling history. I haven’t watched SmackDown regularly since Heyman was its head booker in 2002-3. He made guys like Kurt Angle, Edge, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and Chavo Guerrero into gods. I will never forget the awesome fatal four-way between Angle, Benoit, Eddie, and Edge that took place on SmackDown. Heyman always knew what matches would work, and if you gave him a microphone he could get anything over. I don’t like the idea of hiring Lesnar to be this big star then holding him off TV so they can save his 24 remaining dates for the build to WrestleMania next year, but if Heyman is going to be Brock’s mouthpiece and handle this then I’m interested.
The Wrong:
1. Dwyane Wade Part 1 – In Game 2 of the Heatles’ second round series with the Indiana Pacers, Wade committed a flagrant foul on Darren Collison. Now, in the NBA there is a Flagrant 1 and a Flagrant 2. A flagrant 1 results in a technical foul, the team of the player who was fouled getting possession, and a $35,000 fine. A flagrant 2 is all of that, but the player who committed the foul is ejected and can be suspended. Here is the rule on how to define a 1 or a 2. Wade’s foul on Collison was only a flagrant 1, despite being unnecessary and totally excessive as well as unsportsmanlike. Wade hockey checked Collison, but somehow just got slapped with a flagrant 1. A few years back, Shaq at least made a play on the ball when he killed Rodney Stuckey and was hit with a flagrant 2 and ejected. Wade was pissed because he didn’t get a call when he didn’t deserve to get a call, and then he could have really hurt Darren Collison with that shove. There wasn’t even a play on the ball, nothing of the sort. That’s a punk ass foul and you can’t tell me that’s just a flagrant 1, like Tyson Chandler’s screen on LeBron (LBJ totally flopped) in the first round. This is ridiculous. Not to mention, this isn’t the first time Wade has pulled punk stuff like this. Remember last year when he pulled Rajon Rondo down, dislocating Rondo’s elbow and crushing Boston’s title hopes? Or for some reason giving a hard foul on Kobe Bryant in the All Star game this year, resulting in a broken nose and concussion?
2. Dwyane Wade Part 2 – After losing Game 2, Wade complained in the post-game presser that Indiana was celebrating too much after the win. They weren’t, but whatever. The Bulls were pissed Indiana celebrated after beating them during the season too so this isn't the first we've heard about the Pacers being dicks. However, if you watched the game with Miami you would have seen the buzzer sound, a few Pacers high five each other, and David West rush everybody off the floor. No elaborate celebration. Funny Wade complains about celebrations, since I seem to remember the Heat having a championship party before signing anybody other than the big 3. I used to love Dwyane Wade but holy crap this dude is committing punk fouls and acting like a baby. This is why people don’t like Miami. Just shut up and play. We’re just getting started.
3. LeBron James Part 1 – Guys like Derrick Rose come across as humble because they are. Guys like Kobe Bryant come across as fierce, competitive dicks because they are. A guy like LeBron James puts on an act like he is humble and it is bullshit since everybody knows it is an act. If you've watched the Heat-Pacers series you have seen the video clip I'm about to rant on. After winning his third MVP in four years, LeBron said he can’t figure out why his name is mentioned with the greats of the game like Bird, Magic, Jordan, Kareem, etc. Well I could be cheap and say it is because LeBron doesn’t have a title, but it is more fun to point out how full of crap the self-proclaimed King is. Here is a guy who markets himself as “King James” and had ESPN hold an hour-long special on where he was going to sign during free agency. He was spotted wearing a shirt that said “LBJ MVP” a few years back so clearly he believes the hype. Say it is an honor and all that, but don’t act like you can’t believe you’re being mentioned with these people when you market yourself as the biggest and greatest thing to ever walk the Earth. When Steve Nash won his second MVP somebody asked him what comes to mind when he hears the names of the other people who have won multiple MVP awards or won two in a row and Nash replied, “Who doesn’t belong?” Nash never claimed to be King, so being humble seemed pretty genuine. LeBron still comes across as the guy trying to say the right things to make people like him because he realizes The Decision was a bad idea and wants to repair his image. And that is the problem: LeBron worries about his image too much.
4. LeBron James Part 2 – On Wednesday LeBron stated that it is “taxing” to play power forward with Bosh out and that playing 40 minutes or more in a playoff game is a lot and he was hoping he can get some rest. Now maybe some won’t see this as a complaint, but I feel talking about it is complaining since you would never hear Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan hint to the media that their coach should rest them or that they feel very tired playing a different position. Even Carmelo Anthony didn’t care about playing power forward, and he’s smaller than LeBron so going against other power forwards was tougher for him. Melo wasn’t complaining about how he was playing too many minutes or how it took a toll physically. He just wanted to make sure the Knicks were playing good enough defense to win, and that’s a fact no matter how weird saying that about Melo is. Maybe it wasn’t a complaint. Maybe he was just stating the case. I still feel it is worth noting Michael Jordan played 40 minutes or more in 17 of Chicago’s 21 playoff games in 1998, and he was 35 with bad knees. He wasn’t complaining about how playing more with Pippen injured against Utah was “taxing” and hoping he could get some rest, he took it on himself to kick some ass and win no matter what. That’s the mindset of guys like Jordan, Kobe, Garnett, and Duncan. They do what the team needs for a win and they don’t ask for shortcuts and they don’t complain. KG played small forward, then power forward, and now center. Not once did he complain about how physically demanding it was to switch positions or play more minutes in the playoffs. He wanted to win so he shut up and played. Is it so hard to ask that the most naturally talented athlete to ever play the game does the same?
5. NBA Officiating – If anybody reads this correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the NBA instituted a new rule this year that said if you pump fake and then lean into somebody and throw up a jumper as a means of getting an easy foul call the refs won’t call it. I hate that move so I was glad to hear this, but yet I saw Derrick Rose go to the line off one early in the season and I’ve seen Kobe do this all the time. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade make a living doing this as well. In Game 1 against Indiana Wade did this and went to the line in the second quarter, then Dahntay Jones of the Pacers tried the same thing towards the end of the quarter but got no call. I know the Heat are going to get a ton of calls, but with something like that can’t the refs at least be consistent? Correction: So after posting this last night I had to go look up this rule to make sure I got it right. I didn't, as the new NBA rule is for "rip-through" moves, meaning you can't swing your arms into a defender's and then throw up a shot and hope for a foul call. Good thing Brandon Roy retired otherwise he'd be screwed. But that pump fake thing should be a rule since that's as cheap as the rip-through. Either way, they called it for Wade but not for Jones just a few minutes later. It was the exact same play. That isn't right.
6. WWE Booking – They are most likely going to put the John Cena-John Laurinaitis showdown as the main event for Over the Limit this Sunday. That is totally idiotic since 1) Sheamus is defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, and Alberto Del Rio and 2) CM Punk defending the WWE title against Daniel Bryan is going to be a match of the year candidate. If Laurinaitis loses then he is fired and all outside interference is banned. This of course means Laurinaitis is going to win due to some kind of interference, most likely the incredibly lame Lord Tensai attacking John Cena backstage before the match or something. The match will be roughly 8 to 10 minutes long, Johnny Ace wins, Cena will be incapacitated somehow, and everybody except children will be mad Punk-Bryan or the four-way wasn’t the main event.
So that’s about it for now. Game 3 of the Heat-Pacers series is happening as I type this and Game 2 of the Spurs-Clippers is next so I need to get ready.
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Agony and the Ecstasy: NBA Playoffs and WWE Extreme Rules
Between Saturday and Sunday, it was an absolutely insane weekend for the BBB realm. The NBA Playoffs began and for me the season ended by the end of the first game on Saturday. On Sunday night the WWE held their first pay per view event since WrestleMania, with a returning Brock Lesnar taking on John Cena in an epic main event.
First up the NBA Playoffs. The game that started off what was supposed to be an insane post-season was the 1 seed Chicago Bulls taking on the 8 seed Philadelphia 76ers. With just over a minute left and the Bulls holding a 12 point lead, Derrick Rose tore his ACL on a drive to the basket. This instantly crushes Chicago’s hopes for a championship this year and maybe for years to come as well. An ACL injury is no joke and it very likely may take a year for Rose to be in prime shape again. But what will prime shape be? Sure some people like Baron Davis have been able to regain all of their mobility following an ACL tear, but this is a major injury that once used to be a career-ender. Will Rose just be a solid, All-Star level player or can he regain his MVP form? Rose is a tremendous athlete and medicine is always improving, but it is still a long road to recovery and for somebody whose game is predicated on the ability to outrun everybody and dash to the hoop this is terrible.
The severity of the tear is still unknown and there is still no timetable for Rose’s recovery, but this takes the Bulls out of contention next season and if Rose doesn’t regain almost all of his mobility they may not be contenders again for a long time. This ruins the playoffs since the fun that would have come in a Heat-Bulls conference finals is thrown right out the window. For all the trash I talk about LeBron and the Heat, it is still just part of being a fan and the fact it is fun to rip on your team’s rivals. Now the fun is gone for me and I have little interest in the playoffs now. The Heat have just been handed the Eastern Conference Championship for the next few seasons and it is sad. It is sad for me since Rose is my favorite professional athlete in the history of life, and it should be sad for any basketball fan as well.
Regardless of if you are a Bulls fan or not, you can’t dislike Derrick Rose. He is the bravest player in the NBA and is what everybody should want out of a star. He will do whatever it takes for his team to win, gives all the credit to his team, and goes out and plays his heart out and wants the pressure of being the guy on him. It is rare for a star to demand so much from themselves, but Rose has an insane work ethic and extreme dedication. And he’s a nice guy and a terrific player. You never want to see somebody like that go down. I absolutely hate LeBron James but I would never, ever want to see him suffer an injury that could potentially ruin his career. Where is the fun in that? I would rather see him in top shape rivaling the Bulls than see him go down.
I don’t blame the condensed schedule for this, nor to I blame Tom Thibodeau for keeping Rose in the game. Thibs wanted to get Rose back in game shape and used to closing out games, and get him used to playoff minutes. It was a totally freak injury that could have happened at any time. Rose’s game is so hectic people have been saying for years that he was a major injury waiting to happen. The condensed schedule may have sped things along, but realistically it is not that surprising that Rose suffered a major leg injury. It is extremely sad, but if you think about it you can’t be shocked. I just hope Rose can make a full or close to full recovery since he has been on pace to have one of the greatest NBA careers.
As for the rest of the Eastern Conference, Miami is going to be handed their first round series with the New York Knicks. The Heat took over 20 free throws in the second quarter alone, that should say something right there. The refs even called a flagrant foul on Tyson Chandler since LeBron James started rolling around clutching his neck like he just got shot, obviously faking since he was fine within 15 seconds. The new rule in the NBA this year that if you lean into somebody then throw up a jumper the refs will not call a foul? Thrown away for that game since LBJ went to the line several times for that. In Boston’s first game against Atlanta, Rajon Rondo got eject and is facing a suspension for chest-bumping a ref while screaming at him. This very likely will cost Boston the series if he is out for more than a game, and this just means the Heat have become the luckiest team in the universe and will make it to the Finals unscathed.
Out West, San Antonio looked dominant in their first game against the Jazz. The Lakers embarrassed the Nuggets as well, and the Grizzlies squandered a massive lead, getting outscored 35-13 in the 4th and losing 99-98. I thought for sure the Grizzlies were a sleeper team and could easily clear house and make the finals, but after a collapse like that it takes some serious stones to get back in it. Dallas was able to against Portland last year since they had been through it before. Memphis has only won a playoff series once ever so they aren’t exactly the most experienced group. And how about Dallas? Nearly coming away with a win in OKC, but Kevin Durant buried a game winner with a second and a half left. Intense stuff, but Rose’s injury was like a black cloud hanging over my enjoyment of these games.
To take my mind off the sadness of Rose’s knee getting destroyed, I ordered WWE Extreme Rules. Pretty awesome show that certainly made me feel much better. The three main events totally delivered, and the undercard was entertaining as well. Randy Orton and Kane worked a falls count anywhere match that was worlds better than their WrestleMania match. They both worked really hard and while it wasn’t a technical masterpiece, it was still entertaining and they deserve some daps for that. I expected the worst match ever but it actually turned out to be a pretty good brawl. The Cody Rhodes-Big Show tables match had a great finish since the entire storyline for the match was ‘How can little Cody Rhodes throw the massive Big Show through a table?’ Well it was simple really; with a table set up next to the ring apron Big Show was standing on, Cody kicked Big Show’s leg and made him trip and step through the table. A clever, totally heel way to win. Then Big Show’s post-match freakout was awesome, spearing Rhodes and throwing him out of the ring through a table.
The first of the three main events was Daniel Bryan getting his rematch against Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship after losing at WrestleMania in 18 seconds. It was a 2-out-of-3 falls match and was brilliantly worked, and the crowd was totally into it. Bryan has been red hot since Mania as his “YES! YES! YES!” taunt has spread across the WWE Universe like wildfire and everybody is doing it. Bryan got disqualified in the first fall by repeatedly kicking Sheamus in the shoulder against the ropes after being told to stop. He worked the shoulder over for the last few minutes of the first fall, then once the second fall started he threw Sheamus in the YES! Lock and made him pass out, tying it at 1. Then they worked a nice little third fall which Sheamus won, retaining his belt. The match had great psychology and made me sad they didn’t get longer than 18 seconds to work at Mania since they have good chemistry.
After that, CM Punk defended his WWE Championship against Chris Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight. The show took place in the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Punk’s hometown. Last time they were there, Punk put on one of the greatest matches of all time with John Cena. I wouldn’t say this match was as good, but it was still great, told a pretty good story and had some cool spots. Punk’s diving elbow to Jericho through the announce table was pretty awesome, as was Jericho getting out of the Anaconda Vise by bashing Punk in the head with a Singapore cane. Punk and Jericho are two of my top five favorites of all time so I am basically guaranteed to enjoy whatever these guys do, but this match was an awesome brawl. Sheamus and Bryan worked a technical match, and Punk and Jericho worked a fight. Both were excellent championship matches, but the main event was the biggest selling point of the show and it delivered.
Brock Lesnar left the UFC since his battle with diverticulitis proved too difficult to come back from. His midsection was so weak he was totally unable to take a punch or kick to the gut without crumpling in pain. People will question his heart and effort, but he was really sick and it is admirable he was even able to return. His return to the WWE makes me laugh though because when he came out on Raw a few weeks ago Michael Cole used Brock’s UFC weight, and probably legit weight since he lost like 20-30 pounds from his illness, of 265. That was funny to me since in WWE they lie about weights and make dudes seem way bigger than usual. Then last night they said Sheamus weighs 267 and Lesnar weighs 283 so he can seem like this massive death machine. That’s what it is all about.
I loved Lesnar’s match with Cena. I hated everything about it within the first few minutes, but as it went on I loved it. I didn’t like how the show opened with a UFC style promo package where they show interview clips from both Cena and Lesnar talking very calm about how they are going to punish each other. When the match started Lesnar fought like it was an MMA fight, taking Cena down and resorting to ground and pound. Again, this isn’t the UFC so I didn’t like it. In wrestling, when people bleed they cut their foreheads open with a razor blade. A rule in WWE’s TV-PG era is that there is no blood. These guys broke blew that rule right away when Lesnar took Cena down and busted him open hard way (no blade) with elbows to the top of the skull. Obviously it was done on purpose since Lesnar stopped once he drew blood and they wanted Cena to bleed to make Lesnar look like an animal.
But it was lame since they had the ref put on rubber gloves because of the blood like this is MMA and they had doctors check on the cut and try to stop the bleeding like it is MMA. At Survivor Series ‘03 Vince McMahon bladed after the first punch thrown by Undertaker and lost like half the blood in his body and nobody checked on him! Having the ref stop the match over blood is not something that happens in WWE and I hated it. WWE is an elaborate performance, not the UFC, so I don’t like when they try to act like it is and mooch of the UFC’s heat. I didn’t like how Lesnar’s new ring gear is MMA trunks and gloves, I didn’t like any of this fake MMA stuff they tried doing with the takedowns and ground and pound. I’ve seen Lesnar break Heath Herring’s orbital and beat him into retirement. I’ve seen Lesnar pound Frank Mir’s face in so hard Mir looked like an alien after the first round was done. How am I supposed to believe Lesnar using his MMA techniques wouldn’t absolutely kill John Cena?
I was so mad because I thought Lesnar would get a few minutes of this in then Cena would just do a few moves and win. I was kind of right, but this match turned out to be a classic regardless. Lesnar beat the shit out of Cena for like 15 minutes. Cena was bleeding all over and at one point Lesnar wiped Cena’s blood across his chest and licked it off his gloves. It was savage. When I say Lesnar destroyed Cena, I mean he DESTROYED him. I’ve never seen anything like it. The WWE had their top boy get ransacked for at least 15 minutes. The match was just under 20 I think, and Cena totally had about one minute of offense total. It was wild. Cena wore his old school chain with a padlock to the ring, and Lesnar wrapped it around Cena’s legs, hung him from the ring post, and beat the shit out of him for a few minutes. Lesnar used some of his real wrestling, busting out the rolling German suplexes, but other than that he just used strikes and brutalized Cena and had him bleeding all over.
After a while I stopped bugging about the fake MMA stuff and just started digging the match since it was the most unexpected and insane main event you could see. How often do you see the top guy get bloodied and thrown around like a piece of garbage? The finish of the match pissed me off initially but I’ve come to accept it. Cena was on the apron outside of the ring and Lesnar leapt at him. Cena had his hand wrapped with his chain and punched Lesnar in the face, Lesnar bladed (!!!!!), and Cena gave him the Attitude Adjustment onto the ring steps Lesnar had brought in. That was it. Cena pinned him, match was over. Initially I flipped out since Lesnar had beaten the living shit out of Cena then got caught with two moves and lost, but it really isn’t that bad.
Lesnar looks like he got sloppy because he tried to hit Cena with some flying something or another and got caught with the chain. He messed up and Cena barely escaped with his life. After the match Cena was selling an arm injury, at least I’m assuming he was selling and it wasn’t actually hurt, and said he may be taking a vacation and thanked the fans. Pretty random as I don’t see why you would have Lesnar job to Cena if Cena is leaving, but this is why people watch Raw the night after a PPV. I kind of like that they made Lesnar look like this wrecking machine who got too sloppy and got caught, but if Cena is taking time off this finish makes no sense as there needs to be another match.
So that’s about it for now. Thanks for taking the time to read this long-winded recap of the weekend’s madness, assuming you actually read it all and didn’t just skip to the end. Stay tuned for more Playoff thoughts at some point!
First up the NBA Playoffs. The game that started off what was supposed to be an insane post-season was the 1 seed Chicago Bulls taking on the 8 seed Philadelphia 76ers. With just over a minute left and the Bulls holding a 12 point lead, Derrick Rose tore his ACL on a drive to the basket. This instantly crushes Chicago’s hopes for a championship this year and maybe for years to come as well. An ACL injury is no joke and it very likely may take a year for Rose to be in prime shape again. But what will prime shape be? Sure some people like Baron Davis have been able to regain all of their mobility following an ACL tear, but this is a major injury that once used to be a career-ender. Will Rose just be a solid, All-Star level player or can he regain his MVP form? Rose is a tremendous athlete and medicine is always improving, but it is still a long road to recovery and for somebody whose game is predicated on the ability to outrun everybody and dash to the hoop this is terrible.
The severity of the tear is still unknown and there is still no timetable for Rose’s recovery, but this takes the Bulls out of contention next season and if Rose doesn’t regain almost all of his mobility they may not be contenders again for a long time. This ruins the playoffs since the fun that would have come in a Heat-Bulls conference finals is thrown right out the window. For all the trash I talk about LeBron and the Heat, it is still just part of being a fan and the fact it is fun to rip on your team’s rivals. Now the fun is gone for me and I have little interest in the playoffs now. The Heat have just been handed the Eastern Conference Championship for the next few seasons and it is sad. It is sad for me since Rose is my favorite professional athlete in the history of life, and it should be sad for any basketball fan as well.
Regardless of if you are a Bulls fan or not, you can’t dislike Derrick Rose. He is the bravest player in the NBA and is what everybody should want out of a star. He will do whatever it takes for his team to win, gives all the credit to his team, and goes out and plays his heart out and wants the pressure of being the guy on him. It is rare for a star to demand so much from themselves, but Rose has an insane work ethic and extreme dedication. And he’s a nice guy and a terrific player. You never want to see somebody like that go down. I absolutely hate LeBron James but I would never, ever want to see him suffer an injury that could potentially ruin his career. Where is the fun in that? I would rather see him in top shape rivaling the Bulls than see him go down.
I don’t blame the condensed schedule for this, nor to I blame Tom Thibodeau for keeping Rose in the game. Thibs wanted to get Rose back in game shape and used to closing out games, and get him used to playoff minutes. It was a totally freak injury that could have happened at any time. Rose’s game is so hectic people have been saying for years that he was a major injury waiting to happen. The condensed schedule may have sped things along, but realistically it is not that surprising that Rose suffered a major leg injury. It is extremely sad, but if you think about it you can’t be shocked. I just hope Rose can make a full or close to full recovery since he has been on pace to have one of the greatest NBA careers.
As for the rest of the Eastern Conference, Miami is going to be handed their first round series with the New York Knicks. The Heat took over 20 free throws in the second quarter alone, that should say something right there. The refs even called a flagrant foul on Tyson Chandler since LeBron James started rolling around clutching his neck like he just got shot, obviously faking since he was fine within 15 seconds. The new rule in the NBA this year that if you lean into somebody then throw up a jumper the refs will not call a foul? Thrown away for that game since LBJ went to the line several times for that. In Boston’s first game against Atlanta, Rajon Rondo got eject and is facing a suspension for chest-bumping a ref while screaming at him. This very likely will cost Boston the series if he is out for more than a game, and this just means the Heat have become the luckiest team in the universe and will make it to the Finals unscathed.
Out West, San Antonio looked dominant in their first game against the Jazz. The Lakers embarrassed the Nuggets as well, and the Grizzlies squandered a massive lead, getting outscored 35-13 in the 4th and losing 99-98. I thought for sure the Grizzlies were a sleeper team and could easily clear house and make the finals, but after a collapse like that it takes some serious stones to get back in it. Dallas was able to against Portland last year since they had been through it before. Memphis has only won a playoff series once ever so they aren’t exactly the most experienced group. And how about Dallas? Nearly coming away with a win in OKC, but Kevin Durant buried a game winner with a second and a half left. Intense stuff, but Rose’s injury was like a black cloud hanging over my enjoyment of these games.
To take my mind off the sadness of Rose’s knee getting destroyed, I ordered WWE Extreme Rules. Pretty awesome show that certainly made me feel much better. The three main events totally delivered, and the undercard was entertaining as well. Randy Orton and Kane worked a falls count anywhere match that was worlds better than their WrestleMania match. They both worked really hard and while it wasn’t a technical masterpiece, it was still entertaining and they deserve some daps for that. I expected the worst match ever but it actually turned out to be a pretty good brawl. The Cody Rhodes-Big Show tables match had a great finish since the entire storyline for the match was ‘How can little Cody Rhodes throw the massive Big Show through a table?’ Well it was simple really; with a table set up next to the ring apron Big Show was standing on, Cody kicked Big Show’s leg and made him trip and step through the table. A clever, totally heel way to win. Then Big Show’s post-match freakout was awesome, spearing Rhodes and throwing him out of the ring through a table.
The first of the three main events was Daniel Bryan getting his rematch against Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship after losing at WrestleMania in 18 seconds. It was a 2-out-of-3 falls match and was brilliantly worked, and the crowd was totally into it. Bryan has been red hot since Mania as his “YES! YES! YES!” taunt has spread across the WWE Universe like wildfire and everybody is doing it. Bryan got disqualified in the first fall by repeatedly kicking Sheamus in the shoulder against the ropes after being told to stop. He worked the shoulder over for the last few minutes of the first fall, then once the second fall started he threw Sheamus in the YES! Lock and made him pass out, tying it at 1. Then they worked a nice little third fall which Sheamus won, retaining his belt. The match had great psychology and made me sad they didn’t get longer than 18 seconds to work at Mania since they have good chemistry.
After that, CM Punk defended his WWE Championship against Chris Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight. The show took place in the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Punk’s hometown. Last time they were there, Punk put on one of the greatest matches of all time with John Cena. I wouldn’t say this match was as good, but it was still great, told a pretty good story and had some cool spots. Punk’s diving elbow to Jericho through the announce table was pretty awesome, as was Jericho getting out of the Anaconda Vise by bashing Punk in the head with a Singapore cane. Punk and Jericho are two of my top five favorites of all time so I am basically guaranteed to enjoy whatever these guys do, but this match was an awesome brawl. Sheamus and Bryan worked a technical match, and Punk and Jericho worked a fight. Both were excellent championship matches, but the main event was the biggest selling point of the show and it delivered.
Brock Lesnar left the UFC since his battle with diverticulitis proved too difficult to come back from. His midsection was so weak he was totally unable to take a punch or kick to the gut without crumpling in pain. People will question his heart and effort, but he was really sick and it is admirable he was even able to return. His return to the WWE makes me laugh though because when he came out on Raw a few weeks ago Michael Cole used Brock’s UFC weight, and probably legit weight since he lost like 20-30 pounds from his illness, of 265. That was funny to me since in WWE they lie about weights and make dudes seem way bigger than usual. Then last night they said Sheamus weighs 267 and Lesnar weighs 283 so he can seem like this massive death machine. That’s what it is all about.
I loved Lesnar’s match with Cena. I hated everything about it within the first few minutes, but as it went on I loved it. I didn’t like how the show opened with a UFC style promo package where they show interview clips from both Cena and Lesnar talking very calm about how they are going to punish each other. When the match started Lesnar fought like it was an MMA fight, taking Cena down and resorting to ground and pound. Again, this isn’t the UFC so I didn’t like it. In wrestling, when people bleed they cut their foreheads open with a razor blade. A rule in WWE’s TV-PG era is that there is no blood. These guys broke blew that rule right away when Lesnar took Cena down and busted him open hard way (no blade) with elbows to the top of the skull. Obviously it was done on purpose since Lesnar stopped once he drew blood and they wanted Cena to bleed to make Lesnar look like an animal.
But it was lame since they had the ref put on rubber gloves because of the blood like this is MMA and they had doctors check on the cut and try to stop the bleeding like it is MMA. At Survivor Series ‘03 Vince McMahon bladed after the first punch thrown by Undertaker and lost like half the blood in his body and nobody checked on him! Having the ref stop the match over blood is not something that happens in WWE and I hated it. WWE is an elaborate performance, not the UFC, so I don’t like when they try to act like it is and mooch of the UFC’s heat. I didn’t like how Lesnar’s new ring gear is MMA trunks and gloves, I didn’t like any of this fake MMA stuff they tried doing with the takedowns and ground and pound. I’ve seen Lesnar break Heath Herring’s orbital and beat him into retirement. I’ve seen Lesnar pound Frank Mir’s face in so hard Mir looked like an alien after the first round was done. How am I supposed to believe Lesnar using his MMA techniques wouldn’t absolutely kill John Cena?
I was so mad because I thought Lesnar would get a few minutes of this in then Cena would just do a few moves and win. I was kind of right, but this match turned out to be a classic regardless. Lesnar beat the shit out of Cena for like 15 minutes. Cena was bleeding all over and at one point Lesnar wiped Cena’s blood across his chest and licked it off his gloves. It was savage. When I say Lesnar destroyed Cena, I mean he DESTROYED him. I’ve never seen anything like it. The WWE had their top boy get ransacked for at least 15 minutes. The match was just under 20 I think, and Cena totally had about one minute of offense total. It was wild. Cena wore his old school chain with a padlock to the ring, and Lesnar wrapped it around Cena’s legs, hung him from the ring post, and beat the shit out of him for a few minutes. Lesnar used some of his real wrestling, busting out the rolling German suplexes, but other than that he just used strikes and brutalized Cena and had him bleeding all over.
After a while I stopped bugging about the fake MMA stuff and just started digging the match since it was the most unexpected and insane main event you could see. How often do you see the top guy get bloodied and thrown around like a piece of garbage? The finish of the match pissed me off initially but I’ve come to accept it. Cena was on the apron outside of the ring and Lesnar leapt at him. Cena had his hand wrapped with his chain and punched Lesnar in the face, Lesnar bladed (!!!!!), and Cena gave him the Attitude Adjustment onto the ring steps Lesnar had brought in. That was it. Cena pinned him, match was over. Initially I flipped out since Lesnar had beaten the living shit out of Cena then got caught with two moves and lost, but it really isn’t that bad.
Lesnar looks like he got sloppy because he tried to hit Cena with some flying something or another and got caught with the chain. He messed up and Cena barely escaped with his life. After the match Cena was selling an arm injury, at least I’m assuming he was selling and it wasn’t actually hurt, and said he may be taking a vacation and thanked the fans. Pretty random as I don’t see why you would have Lesnar job to Cena if Cena is leaving, but this is why people watch Raw the night after a PPV. I kind of like that they made Lesnar look like this wrecking machine who got too sloppy and got caught, but if Cena is taking time off this finish makes no sense as there needs to be another match.
So that’s about it for now. Thanks for taking the time to read this long-winded recap of the weekend’s madness, assuming you actually read it all and didn’t just skip to the end. Stay tuned for more Playoff thoughts at some point!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Rights and Wrongs in the Sporting World 1
In the three realms we cover here on BBB, a great deal has happened as of late. As the title of this post suggests, I will be covering what out of the past few weeks is right in the universe and what is wrong. All pretty straightforward, so let’s just get to it.
The Right:
1. Stephon Marbury Gets a Statue - When Stephon Marbury left the NBA to go play for the Chinese Basketball Association, his life was a mess. He had left the Knicks in shame after threatening to blackmail Isiah Thomas and then feuding with Mike D’Antoni. He turned down a contract with the Boston Celtics so he could focus on “business” and then started broadcasting his life via webcam and did weird things like eat Vaseline and cry listening to music. Then he went to the CBA and has become a new man. He has matured and has become a superstar over there and lead the Beijing Ducks to their first CBA Championship. He averaged 33 and 6 in the Finals, and scored 41 points in the deciding Game 5, but CBA rules ban a foreign-born player from winning the MVP award. Luckily, a million CBA fans signed a petition calling for a massive bronze statue of Starbury to be made in honor of his contributions. It is great to see Marbury finally act like an adult and finally become a winner. It is even better that he is going to be immortalized with a sick statue.
2. Memphis Grizzlies - The team I said would rival the OKC Thunder for the top seed in the Western Conference has not been the truth this year. Granted Zach Randolph being hurt cost them, but he is now back and the Grizzlies have a very solid team. Marc Gasol is one of the best centers in the league, then you’ve got guys like OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay who can pile on the points and play good defense. Even Gilbert Arenas has proven to be a solid addition thus far, and it seemed like his career was at an end. Over the course of their last 10 games, the Grizzlies are 8-2 and have beaten the likes of the defending champion Dallas Mavericks, the Miami Heat, the Lakers, the Clippers, and the West-leading Thunder. They have put together a nice late-season stretch that could give them a ton of confidence come the playoffs.
3. Anderson Silva’s Revenge - It has been announced that Chael Sonnen will get another shot at Anderson Silva’s Middleweight Championship on June 23 in Silva’s native Brazil. The Brazilian fans are always rabid at the UFC shows and after all the trash talk Sonnen has dished out for two years about Silva, the Nogueira brothers, and the country of Brazil, somebody is going to want to see Sonnen get smacked up. An article on BJPenn.com asked if Sonnen’s trash talk is getting old. It was old after he got submitted by Silva in their first fight yet still talked the noise about how he was the true champion. Silva’s victory was maybe the most heroic in UFC history as he went into the fight mentally unprepared due to the loss of his grandmother and he was physically unprepared as he had busted ribs. Also, Sonnen was juiced up, but that will be touched on later in this post. It didn’t matter as Silva still made Sonnen eat his words about how a Nogueira black belt is like a Happy Meal toy. Now Silva is healthy and will be out to prove that Sonnen’s dominance over him in the first fight was just a fluke.
4. Tom Thibodeau - Thibs may be on pace to become the first back-to-back winner of the NBA Coach of the Year Award. He totally deserves it, and not just because I’m a Bulls fan. With Derrick Rose having a historic season in terms of games missed by a reigning MVP, the Bulls are still poised to win the East and maybe finish with the best record in the league. Best in the league despite being depleted by injuries all year and Carlos Boozer having to be the best player on the team. Chicago is staring down 50 wins in this brutal, lockout-shortened year even though Luol Deng has a serious wrist problem and isn’t playing as well as he could, Rip Hamilton plays a game or two then leaves because he’s hurt, and Derrick Rose has only played 35 of the 58 games this year. That’s three of the five starters down, and Chicago is just chugging along thanks to Thibodeau’s defense-first teachings.
5. The WWE and John Cena - Ten days ago was a terrific show at WrestleMania XXVIII. In a shocking turn of events in the main event, the WWE put The Rock over John Cena. Usually when they do these clashes of an icon from the past with the icon from the present, the classic guy always loses. WWE has forced Cena down everybody’s throats for years so everybody expected him to go over The Rock. In terms of storylines, it was a brilliant move to have Rock go over since this makes Cena’s character far more interesting. Had Cena won, he would have beaten literally every big star except for Undertaker. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, everybody has had to job for Cena. If Cena had won he would be unstoppable forever. But now that he loses a match he said he had to win or he would lose “everything,” he is far more interesting. Compound that with Brock Lesnar returning the next night on Raw and delivering the F5 to Cena, and Cena instantly becomes interesting for the first time in years. Even the other night on Raw Lesnar got the better of Cena. WWE never has their top guy get jobbed out repeatedly, but now that they are doing it Cena is actually entertaining. The days of Super Cena who cannot be touched by mortal men are long gone and now Cena is just another superstar. However, this leads me to the first thing I want to discuss with what is wrong in the realms these days.
The Wrong:
1. WWE - Vince McMahon is going to be stepping down soon and relinquishing control of the company to his daughter Stephanie and her husband Triple H (not his real name). Vince has been pissed as of late since aside from the rise of CM Punk as a main event star in the last year, nobody other than Cena has gotten over with the fans. Normally if you want to get people over, you put them in high profile feuds and have them win. Hell, give them a secondary title like the Intercontinental or US title and have them work matches. Dolph Ziggler should be US Champion right now after being made to look like absolute crap against CM Punk but now is getting jobbed out to the “Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay. Cody Rhodes was making the Intercontinental title mean something again by cutting good promos and working good matches, but then they jobbed him out to Big Show at Mania so his push has declined. Zack Ryder gets jobbed out and made to look like an idiot every week. Ron Killings is portraying R-Truth, a gimmick I feel is offensive since it requires him to just be the token wild black guy who says crazy stuff and break dances. Daniel Bryan, who has won Wrestling Observer’s Best Technical Wrestler award seven straight years, was jobbed out in 18 SECONDS at WrestleMania. Rather than put some of these guys in feuds with Cena and make them stars they are being made to look like clowns. Vince is pissed there are no new stars, so what did they do? Bring back The Rock, who can only work for like maybe a month then disappears to make another movie, and put him over the biggest star in the company. The next night they bring back Brock Lesnar and put him over the top star in the company. How does this solve the issue of there being no new talent? The new blood isn’t even being given a shot and stars of the past like Brock and Rock aren’t putting anybody over, they are just being pushed like they are the future.
2. Alistair Overeem Fails a Random Drug Test - The Nevada State Athletic Commission granted Alistair Overeem a conditional license to face Brock Lesnar back in December. Part of this conditional license was the provision that he would be randomly piss tested since he has put on so much muscle the last few years it is obvious he must be on steroids. His temporary license expired on December 31st, 2011 and he passed his drug test both pre and post-fight. Reem’s victory over Lesnar has put him at the front of the line for a heavyweight title fight with champion Junior dos Santos. Overeem isn’t currently licensed but at the UFC 146 press conference, the NSAC administered a random drug test on Overeem and he failed, putting what would have been a great fight in jeopardy. The legal testosterone ratio for competition in Nevada is 6:1, while Overeem’s ratio was 14:1. Now the title fight seems to be in jeopardy since Nevada can refuse to issue a license on these grounds when Reem has his hearing. UFC President Dana White is furious since Reem looked him dead in the eye and swore he was not on steroids, but this test says otherwise. Overeem could claim testosterone replacement therapy as so many fighters do (more on that in a moment), or his defense could be that he isn’t licensed so this test means nothing. He has never failed a pre or post-fight drug test, and if he tests clean right before the fight and right after why should he be punished? The fight isn’t until the end of May so who is to say he won’t have a normal ratio on fight night? While a cheap defense, it still raises a valid point. But the fact remains, Overeem swore he wasn’t juiced up and here he is with the second highest ratio for a major fighter. Who was first? Well that’s what is so interesting...
3. Chael Sonnen Gets a Second Title Shot - The highest testosterone level belongs to Chael Sonnen with 16.9 when he had his title fight against Anderson Silva back in August of 2010. Not only did Sonnen get choked out, he cheated also since he failed to ever document he underwent testosterone replacement therapy for a condition called hypergonadism. It is worth noting one of the causes of hypergonadism is steroid use. He nearly pulled off the biggest upset in MMA history and it would have been tarnished because he had testosterone levels 17 times higher than that of a normal man, which is ridiculous even if he underwent TRT since a proper procedure would not cause that as the article I just linked to explains. He is being rewarded for nearly shaming the company by getting another title shot, while Alistair Overeem’s future with the UFC is in jeopardy. The Overeem test was just a random test on an un-licensed fighter, while Sonnen was in the biggest fight of the year and failed right before and right after the fight. Everybody is calling for Overeem to be punished, but people love Sonnen’s professional wrestling-style promos that embarrass the sport and they ignore the fact he cheated badly. Reem has never failed a drug test pre or post-fight and is going to be punished, but Sonnen fails pre and post-fight and is being rewarded despite the fact that if he had won that fight with Silva the UFC would have been shamed and all the good will the sport had built up would have been done.
4. Derrick Rose - Rose has missed numerous clutch free throws this year, most notably the other night against the Knicks. People could say it is a mental thing, and I agree to an extent, but we can’t forget Rose has been in horrible shape all year. Last year he was an absolute killer and carried Chicago to unexpected heights. This year he has barely played half of the games and gets injured all the time. Turf toe, bad back, bad groin, and now a sprained ankle. Maybe he wasn’t his usual clutch self against New York because he sprained that ankle again during the game and has been injured all year. Either way, his struggles to get healthy are going to cost the Chicago Bulls come playoff time. Granted it isn’t entirely his fault since he keeps getting hurt since he hasn’t had the chance to get in game shape, but still he is doing more harm than good right now. And the fact he has missed so many fourth quarter free throws this year is even worse. While the regular season hardly matters, it is still a dire situation when Derrick Rose has been more injured and hasn’t even had as good of a season as Carlos Boozer.
5. LeBron MVP Talk Despite a Great Canadian Having a Great Year - Yeah I hate LeBron but just hear me out. He is clearly the MVP this year and all, but depending on how these last few games go we may have to consider somebody else for a three-time MVP winner. If the Phoenix Suns make the playoffs, Steve Nash totally deserves to be MVP. He is battling it out with Rajon Rondo to be league leader in assists, and is sixth in the league in field goal percentage, with a ridiculous 54.1%. He’s the only non-post player up that high, with LeBron James sitting at 10. Did I mention he is a 38-year-old 6’3” point guard averaging 13 and 11? Not the most electrifying numbers in terms of scoring, but getting the Suns into the playoffs with Marcin Gortat as your second best player and Grant Hill out for the season is unreal. Michael Redd and Channing Frye are relied on as major options. LeBron is having an amazing year and all, but the Western Conference is the still the Bestern Conference, and if Nash can lead the Suns to the playoffs being several games over .500 hopefully somebody throws him a bone here.
That’s all for now. God speed and party on.
The Right:
1. Stephon Marbury Gets a Statue - When Stephon Marbury left the NBA to go play for the Chinese Basketball Association, his life was a mess. He had left the Knicks in shame after threatening to blackmail Isiah Thomas and then feuding with Mike D’Antoni. He turned down a contract with the Boston Celtics so he could focus on “business” and then started broadcasting his life via webcam and did weird things like eat Vaseline and cry listening to music. Then he went to the CBA and has become a new man. He has matured and has become a superstar over there and lead the Beijing Ducks to their first CBA Championship. He averaged 33 and 6 in the Finals, and scored 41 points in the deciding Game 5, but CBA rules ban a foreign-born player from winning the MVP award. Luckily, a million CBA fans signed a petition calling for a massive bronze statue of Starbury to be made in honor of his contributions. It is great to see Marbury finally act like an adult and finally become a winner. It is even better that he is going to be immortalized with a sick statue.
2. Memphis Grizzlies - The team I said would rival the OKC Thunder for the top seed in the Western Conference has not been the truth this year. Granted Zach Randolph being hurt cost them, but he is now back and the Grizzlies have a very solid team. Marc Gasol is one of the best centers in the league, then you’ve got guys like OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay who can pile on the points and play good defense. Even Gilbert Arenas has proven to be a solid addition thus far, and it seemed like his career was at an end. Over the course of their last 10 games, the Grizzlies are 8-2 and have beaten the likes of the defending champion Dallas Mavericks, the Miami Heat, the Lakers, the Clippers, and the West-leading Thunder. They have put together a nice late-season stretch that could give them a ton of confidence come the playoffs.
3. Anderson Silva’s Revenge - It has been announced that Chael Sonnen will get another shot at Anderson Silva’s Middleweight Championship on June 23 in Silva’s native Brazil. The Brazilian fans are always rabid at the UFC shows and after all the trash talk Sonnen has dished out for two years about Silva, the Nogueira brothers, and the country of Brazil, somebody is going to want to see Sonnen get smacked up. An article on BJPenn.com asked if Sonnen’s trash talk is getting old. It was old after he got submitted by Silva in their first fight yet still talked the noise about how he was the true champion. Silva’s victory was maybe the most heroic in UFC history as he went into the fight mentally unprepared due to the loss of his grandmother and he was physically unprepared as he had busted ribs. Also, Sonnen was juiced up, but that will be touched on later in this post. It didn’t matter as Silva still made Sonnen eat his words about how a Nogueira black belt is like a Happy Meal toy. Now Silva is healthy and will be out to prove that Sonnen’s dominance over him in the first fight was just a fluke.
4. Tom Thibodeau - Thibs may be on pace to become the first back-to-back winner of the NBA Coach of the Year Award. He totally deserves it, and not just because I’m a Bulls fan. With Derrick Rose having a historic season in terms of games missed by a reigning MVP, the Bulls are still poised to win the East and maybe finish with the best record in the league. Best in the league despite being depleted by injuries all year and Carlos Boozer having to be the best player on the team. Chicago is staring down 50 wins in this brutal, lockout-shortened year even though Luol Deng has a serious wrist problem and isn’t playing as well as he could, Rip Hamilton plays a game or two then leaves because he’s hurt, and Derrick Rose has only played 35 of the 58 games this year. That’s three of the five starters down, and Chicago is just chugging along thanks to Thibodeau’s defense-first teachings.
5. The WWE and John Cena - Ten days ago was a terrific show at WrestleMania XXVIII. In a shocking turn of events in the main event, the WWE put The Rock over John Cena. Usually when they do these clashes of an icon from the past with the icon from the present, the classic guy always loses. WWE has forced Cena down everybody’s throats for years so everybody expected him to go over The Rock. In terms of storylines, it was a brilliant move to have Rock go over since this makes Cena’s character far more interesting. Had Cena won, he would have beaten literally every big star except for Undertaker. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, everybody has had to job for Cena. If Cena had won he would be unstoppable forever. But now that he loses a match he said he had to win or he would lose “everything,” he is far more interesting. Compound that with Brock Lesnar returning the next night on Raw and delivering the F5 to Cena, and Cena instantly becomes interesting for the first time in years. Even the other night on Raw Lesnar got the better of Cena. WWE never has their top guy get jobbed out repeatedly, but now that they are doing it Cena is actually entertaining. The days of Super Cena who cannot be touched by mortal men are long gone and now Cena is just another superstar. However, this leads me to the first thing I want to discuss with what is wrong in the realms these days.
The Wrong:
1. WWE - Vince McMahon is going to be stepping down soon and relinquishing control of the company to his daughter Stephanie and her husband Triple H (not his real name). Vince has been pissed as of late since aside from the rise of CM Punk as a main event star in the last year, nobody other than Cena has gotten over with the fans. Normally if you want to get people over, you put them in high profile feuds and have them win. Hell, give them a secondary title like the Intercontinental or US title and have them work matches. Dolph Ziggler should be US Champion right now after being made to look like absolute crap against CM Punk but now is getting jobbed out to the “Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay. Cody Rhodes was making the Intercontinental title mean something again by cutting good promos and working good matches, but then they jobbed him out to Big Show at Mania so his push has declined. Zack Ryder gets jobbed out and made to look like an idiot every week. Ron Killings is portraying R-Truth, a gimmick I feel is offensive since it requires him to just be the token wild black guy who says crazy stuff and break dances. Daniel Bryan, who has won Wrestling Observer’s Best Technical Wrestler award seven straight years, was jobbed out in 18 SECONDS at WrestleMania. Rather than put some of these guys in feuds with Cena and make them stars they are being made to look like clowns. Vince is pissed there are no new stars, so what did they do? Bring back The Rock, who can only work for like maybe a month then disappears to make another movie, and put him over the biggest star in the company. The next night they bring back Brock Lesnar and put him over the top star in the company. How does this solve the issue of there being no new talent? The new blood isn’t even being given a shot and stars of the past like Brock and Rock aren’t putting anybody over, they are just being pushed like they are the future.
2. Alistair Overeem Fails a Random Drug Test - The Nevada State Athletic Commission granted Alistair Overeem a conditional license to face Brock Lesnar back in December. Part of this conditional license was the provision that he would be randomly piss tested since he has put on so much muscle the last few years it is obvious he must be on steroids. His temporary license expired on December 31st, 2011 and he passed his drug test both pre and post-fight. Reem’s victory over Lesnar has put him at the front of the line for a heavyweight title fight with champion Junior dos Santos. Overeem isn’t currently licensed but at the UFC 146 press conference, the NSAC administered a random drug test on Overeem and he failed, putting what would have been a great fight in jeopardy. The legal testosterone ratio for competition in Nevada is 6:1, while Overeem’s ratio was 14:1. Now the title fight seems to be in jeopardy since Nevada can refuse to issue a license on these grounds when Reem has his hearing. UFC President Dana White is furious since Reem looked him dead in the eye and swore he was not on steroids, but this test says otherwise. Overeem could claim testosterone replacement therapy as so many fighters do (more on that in a moment), or his defense could be that he isn’t licensed so this test means nothing. He has never failed a pre or post-fight drug test, and if he tests clean right before the fight and right after why should he be punished? The fight isn’t until the end of May so who is to say he won’t have a normal ratio on fight night? While a cheap defense, it still raises a valid point. But the fact remains, Overeem swore he wasn’t juiced up and here he is with the second highest ratio for a major fighter. Who was first? Well that’s what is so interesting...
3. Chael Sonnen Gets a Second Title Shot - The highest testosterone level belongs to Chael Sonnen with 16.9 when he had his title fight against Anderson Silva back in August of 2010. Not only did Sonnen get choked out, he cheated also since he failed to ever document he underwent testosterone replacement therapy for a condition called hypergonadism. It is worth noting one of the causes of hypergonadism is steroid use. He nearly pulled off the biggest upset in MMA history and it would have been tarnished because he had testosterone levels 17 times higher than that of a normal man, which is ridiculous even if he underwent TRT since a proper procedure would not cause that as the article I just linked to explains. He is being rewarded for nearly shaming the company by getting another title shot, while Alistair Overeem’s future with the UFC is in jeopardy. The Overeem test was just a random test on an un-licensed fighter, while Sonnen was in the biggest fight of the year and failed right before and right after the fight. Everybody is calling for Overeem to be punished, but people love Sonnen’s professional wrestling-style promos that embarrass the sport and they ignore the fact he cheated badly. Reem has never failed a drug test pre or post-fight and is going to be punished, but Sonnen fails pre and post-fight and is being rewarded despite the fact that if he had won that fight with Silva the UFC would have been shamed and all the good will the sport had built up would have been done.
4. Derrick Rose - Rose has missed numerous clutch free throws this year, most notably the other night against the Knicks. People could say it is a mental thing, and I agree to an extent, but we can’t forget Rose has been in horrible shape all year. Last year he was an absolute killer and carried Chicago to unexpected heights. This year he has barely played half of the games and gets injured all the time. Turf toe, bad back, bad groin, and now a sprained ankle. Maybe he wasn’t his usual clutch self against New York because he sprained that ankle again during the game and has been injured all year. Either way, his struggles to get healthy are going to cost the Chicago Bulls come playoff time. Granted it isn’t entirely his fault since he keeps getting hurt since he hasn’t had the chance to get in game shape, but still he is doing more harm than good right now. And the fact he has missed so many fourth quarter free throws this year is even worse. While the regular season hardly matters, it is still a dire situation when Derrick Rose has been more injured and hasn’t even had as good of a season as Carlos Boozer.
5. LeBron MVP Talk Despite a Great Canadian Having a Great Year - Yeah I hate LeBron but just hear me out. He is clearly the MVP this year and all, but depending on how these last few games go we may have to consider somebody else for a three-time MVP winner. If the Phoenix Suns make the playoffs, Steve Nash totally deserves to be MVP. He is battling it out with Rajon Rondo to be league leader in assists, and is sixth in the league in field goal percentage, with a ridiculous 54.1%. He’s the only non-post player up that high, with LeBron James sitting at 10. Did I mention he is a 38-year-old 6’3” point guard averaging 13 and 11? Not the most electrifying numbers in terms of scoring, but getting the Suns into the playoffs with Marcin Gortat as your second best player and Grant Hill out for the season is unreal. Michael Redd and Channing Frye are relied on as major options. LeBron is having an amazing year and all, but the Western Conference is the still the Bestern Conference, and if Nash can lead the Suns to the playoffs being several games over .500 hopefully somebody throws him a bone here.
That’s all for now. God speed and party on.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
BBB's WrestleMania XXVIII Predictions
Tonight is the Grandaddy of ‘Em All! The Showcase of the Immortals! The biggest WWE event of the year! Tonight is WrestleMania XXVIII live from Miami! And don’t worry Warrior, we will all be watching it or traveling to it by conventional means. It features a pretty solid card of course headlined by a main event that now joins Hogan-Andre, Hogan-Warrior, and Hogan-Rock as one of the biggest main events in WrestleMania history: The Rock vs. John Cena. So to continue what I hope to make a new tradition for the “Big Four” WWE shows (Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, SummerSlam, and Survivor Series), here are some predictions for everybody’s favorite fake sporting event:
Team Johnny (David Otunga, Drew McIntyre, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, & Jack Swagger) vs. Team Teddy (Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, & Booker T): A few thoughts on this match. First, I feel like every year they have a big match like this just to get everybody on the card and usually it is a waste of time. Second, how far the mighty have fallen! A year ago Miz was headlining Mania as WWE Champion now he is reduced to this. Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis and SmackDown GM Teddy Long have put together these gigantic teams and whoever wins becomes GM of both shows. David Otunga is the worst wrestler in the company, as is shown by him having the lowest rating in the WWE ‘12 video game, but is still Johnny Ace’s captain. Christian and Alberto Del Rio were supposed to be on Team Johnny but Christian is still hurt and they felt this match is beneath Del Rio so they took him out of it, and I now have no interest in this match whatsoever. Teddy Long has been an on-screen character for like 10 years. WWE seems to love bastard authority figures so they’ve been high on Johnny Ace and he’s only been around the last few months. There’s nothing more to do with Teddy Long and WWE always wants to replicate the evil Mr. McMahon character from the 90s so Team Johnny will win.
Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix: Yes, that Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood and Extra. Not only is she a die hard Boston Celtics fan, she apparently enjoys doing work with WWE as this is like the third or fourth time she’s appeared at an event. Not to sound like a sexist bastard, but women’s matches are usually always terrible and this will probably be. Kelly Kelly sucks, Eve hasn’t been good from all one match I paid attention to, and Beth Phoenix is awesome. This match has no point other than to be a quick Divas match to kill time with and to get some kind of celebrity involvement. Menounos just broke some ribs doing Dancing with the Stars so I don’t know if she’ll even still be in this match or what. If she is she won’t do much other than probably get the pin. Maria & Kelly Kelly win.
Randy Orton vs. Kane: This is the most pointless match on the card and hopefully will open the show to get it out of the way. Just like Cena’s feud with Kane was done just so Cena would have something to do before The Rock came back, this feud serves no purpose other than to get Orton on WrestleMania. The WWE loves Orton for whatever reason and he has gotten better in the ring than he was when I remember him first getting his super push in 2004. Kane also showed in his matches with Cena that he’s still got some stuff left in the tank and can work, but really this match won’t be that good. I had to look on Wikipedia to find out what these guys are even feuding over since I had no idea. Apparently Kane is upset he shook hands with Orton after a match in JULY OF LAST YEAR because it made him look like a mere mortal and weak. What the hell? Whatever. Even a fake wrestling “news” site which is like The Onion but about wrestling has made jokes about how this match is over nothing. Orton wins.
Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show: I will give Cody Rhodes some credit since I always thought Ted DiBiase Jr. would be the breakout star from Randy Orton’s lame ass stable Legacy. I thought DiBiase had it on the mic and would become this badass heel, but instead he’s become pretty lame. Cody Rhodes, however, has worked his ass off and become a great upper mid-card heel. He is cutting great promos and the WWE is obviously high on him since he’s been Intercontinental Champion since August and was one of the longest participants in the Royal Rumble this year, and had the most eliminations in the match. I have gone from hating Rhodes to actually enjoying his work now. As for Big Show, he has been and remains pretty much my least favorite wrestler ever so I’m not really that pumped for this match since I don’t want to watch 10 minutes of Big Show. I’ve loved Rhodes’ promos going into this match about how Show always loses at WrestleMania and will again. I don’t know why Big Show would win this match since the IC title does nothing for him at all and a loss isn’t what Cody needs right now with this momentum. Cody retains.
World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: Not much to say about this match since it seems pretty cut and dry. Bryan has been a great heel champion. The WWE has done a really good job at building up Bryan’s chickenshit, asshole character. Bryan is one of the greatest technical wrestlers on the planet but seemed lacking in personality, but this run as champ and a bad guy has been so entertaining. He retains the title in ridiculous and cheap ways and it has been fun to watch. Sheamus is the Royal Rumble winner and it has seemed like the WWE has been gearing him up for a good push for a while. It is always possible Bryan retains and his quiet, nerd girlfriend AJ pulls some shenanigans to help him and turns heel but that seems like it would be way too WCW and far more unlikely than Sheamus getting his push. This will likely be a pretty good match, and Sheamus will win the title.
WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: While people probably aren’t as excited for this as they are for HHH-Taker or Rock-Cena, this is probably going to be the match of the night. There are rumors this could open the show, which I find to be idiotic since such a well-built match for the biggest belt in the company should be worth more than the opening slot. A few weeks ago Punk suggested to Jericho that they go out and put on the best technical wrestling match in WrestleMania history. A tall order considering classics like Savage-Steamboat, Angle-Benoit, Angle-Michaels, Jericho-Michaels, Hart-Hart, and Hart-Michaels all have taken place on the grandest stage of them all. Though really if any two performers could go out there and do it, it would be these guys. Jericho has been gold on the mic in this feud. He has spent the last three weeks attacking CM Punk’s family. First, as Punk was in the ring Jericho appeared on the video screen to say he knows Punk is straight edge because his father is an alcoholic. The next week he said he wouldn’t make comments about Punk’s father, but instead brought up Punk’s sister having a substance abuse problem. Then this past Monday he said Punk’s parents got married after Punk was born, making him a bastard. That has caused Punk to go crazy and he has vowed to beat the hell out of Jericho. This should be a great match and will hopefully be a classic, though it isn’t getting the hype it deserves. As for a result, I could buy Jericho winning since the next pay per view is in Chicago, Punk’s hometown, so Punk could chase the title and regain it in front of a rabid hometown audience. That would be a cool way to go, but I still look at it as if it were 2002 and the WWE just hates Jericho and never wants him to win, so CM Punk retains.
Hell in a Cell with Special Referee Shawn Michaels - Triple H vs. Undertaker: The match is being dubbed as “The End of an Era.” Of course this is the end of the Attitude Era, the late-90s era that made the WWF popular again. These two guys are the last ones left from that time period, other than The Rock but when you work one match every seven years it doesn’t count. Also noteworthy is that Undertaker is looking to make his WrestleMania record a ridiculous 20-0. This is a rematch of last year’s bout where Aitches beat Undertaker so bad the Deadman couldn’t stand up but still had enough strength to choke Trips out. Undertaker needs redemption for almost losing, and Triple H needs to prove he’s the man. Shawn Michaels gets inserted since he’s best friends with Triple H and bitter rivals with Undertaker. At Manias 25 and 26 Michaels lost to Taker and retired, so they’ve built drama by making it seem like Michaels may screw over Triple H so he can’t do what Michaels failed to do. At the same time HBK could screw over Taker so he still can be the man who ended the streak. I don’t know if this match will suck, but I expect it to be boring and feature a lot of these guys laying around tired. This will most likely be Undertaker’s last match since he literally has nothing left to do. He takes off 10 months then comes back to hype up WrestleMania, win, then take off another 10 months. It has been that way for a couple years now. He’s in no kind of shape, had to shave his head since he’s balding so bad, looks too weak to stand after matches, and really he has nothing left to do. This will be a long match, Shawn Michaels will superkick somebody, and Undertaker goes 20-0. The bigger prediction here is from the start of the entrances all the way to the final pinfall or submission, how long will this entire thing be? I’m saying 56 minutes. Yes, nearly an hour of a four hour program is going to this.
Once In a Liftetime (Until they do a rematch at next year’s Mania) The Rock vs John Cena: I’ve written about how the build to this match absolutely sucked for months since they announced this match a year ago. The Rock has only been around to promote it this last month, and as sick as this is to say I’ve actually enjoyed the fact the WWE has had Cena get the better of him in their promos. This is all intentional since WWE doesn’t want Cena getting booed too bad at Mania so they’ve had him come across as the “real” person and Rock look like Hollywood. The crowd is going to be as insane as they were for Rock-Hogan ten years ago. Maybe even more insane since this is in Miami, The Great One’s hometown. This is going to be a very pro-Rock crowd because it is Miami, because of nostalgia, and because there are a lot of people who are still mad Cena has been shoved down everybody’s throats as the new Hogan or even the new Rock. The match itself is not going to be very good. I know Rock has been working hard to get back in ring shape and all, but he was never a particularly great worker in his prime and the fact he’s worked one match since WrestleMania XX doesn’t make me think he’s improved. Cena is also not a particularly great worker though he has gotten better over the last few years. There will be some power moves, a lot of rest holds, and they will probably both kick out of a few of each other’s finishers. A lot of people think Cena turns heel and Rock wins, but I don’t buy it. Cena moves too much merch to turn him heel, and while that would be cool and would bring some freshness to Cena’s character the WWE never goes with the obvious or cool move. There are rumors of a rematch next year at Mania so that is sparking theories that Rock wins tonight then returns the favor next year. I feel people are adding more drama to this match than necessary. Also there are some rumblings of a former WWE star being re-signed (Potential Spoiler Alert?) so if that is true maybe that will have an effect on this match. If not, then it is pretty simple to me: Hogan did the job for Rock at X-8, and Hogan NEVER loses, so it only makes sense that the guy who was more than willing to put anybody over back in the day does it again. You have to put over the current generation, so Cena wins.
So that's it. It should be a pretty fun show since the top four matches are all pretty solid. And there are rumors that my boy Batista is going to be making a return tonight. I hope that's true since the last time I was this pumped for a Mania, I was in 8th grade and Batista was facing Triple H for the World Championship. Either way, it isn't every WrestleMania where you get one of the biggest main events of all time so tonight is pretty monumental.
Team Johnny (David Otunga, Drew McIntyre, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, & Jack Swagger) vs. Team Teddy (Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, & Booker T): A few thoughts on this match. First, I feel like every year they have a big match like this just to get everybody on the card and usually it is a waste of time. Second, how far the mighty have fallen! A year ago Miz was headlining Mania as WWE Champion now he is reduced to this. Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis and SmackDown GM Teddy Long have put together these gigantic teams and whoever wins becomes GM of both shows. David Otunga is the worst wrestler in the company, as is shown by him having the lowest rating in the WWE ‘12 video game, but is still Johnny Ace’s captain. Christian and Alberto Del Rio were supposed to be on Team Johnny but Christian is still hurt and they felt this match is beneath Del Rio so they took him out of it, and I now have no interest in this match whatsoever. Teddy Long has been an on-screen character for like 10 years. WWE seems to love bastard authority figures so they’ve been high on Johnny Ace and he’s only been around the last few months. There’s nothing more to do with Teddy Long and WWE always wants to replicate the evil Mr. McMahon character from the 90s so Team Johnny will win.
Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix: Yes, that Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood and Extra. Not only is she a die hard Boston Celtics fan, she apparently enjoys doing work with WWE as this is like the third or fourth time she’s appeared at an event. Not to sound like a sexist bastard, but women’s matches are usually always terrible and this will probably be. Kelly Kelly sucks, Eve hasn’t been good from all one match I paid attention to, and Beth Phoenix is awesome. This match has no point other than to be a quick Divas match to kill time with and to get some kind of celebrity involvement. Menounos just broke some ribs doing Dancing with the Stars so I don’t know if she’ll even still be in this match or what. If she is she won’t do much other than probably get the pin. Maria & Kelly Kelly win.
Randy Orton vs. Kane: This is the most pointless match on the card and hopefully will open the show to get it out of the way. Just like Cena’s feud with Kane was done just so Cena would have something to do before The Rock came back, this feud serves no purpose other than to get Orton on WrestleMania. The WWE loves Orton for whatever reason and he has gotten better in the ring than he was when I remember him first getting his super push in 2004. Kane also showed in his matches with Cena that he’s still got some stuff left in the tank and can work, but really this match won’t be that good. I had to look on Wikipedia to find out what these guys are even feuding over since I had no idea. Apparently Kane is upset he shook hands with Orton after a match in JULY OF LAST YEAR because it made him look like a mere mortal and weak. What the hell? Whatever. Even a fake wrestling “news” site which is like The Onion but about wrestling has made jokes about how this match is over nothing. Orton wins.
Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show: I will give Cody Rhodes some credit since I always thought Ted DiBiase Jr. would be the breakout star from Randy Orton’s lame ass stable Legacy. I thought DiBiase had it on the mic and would become this badass heel, but instead he’s become pretty lame. Cody Rhodes, however, has worked his ass off and become a great upper mid-card heel. He is cutting great promos and the WWE is obviously high on him since he’s been Intercontinental Champion since August and was one of the longest participants in the Royal Rumble this year, and had the most eliminations in the match. I have gone from hating Rhodes to actually enjoying his work now. As for Big Show, he has been and remains pretty much my least favorite wrestler ever so I’m not really that pumped for this match since I don’t want to watch 10 minutes of Big Show. I’ve loved Rhodes’ promos going into this match about how Show always loses at WrestleMania and will again. I don’t know why Big Show would win this match since the IC title does nothing for him at all and a loss isn’t what Cody needs right now with this momentum. Cody retains.
World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: Not much to say about this match since it seems pretty cut and dry. Bryan has been a great heel champion. The WWE has done a really good job at building up Bryan’s chickenshit, asshole character. Bryan is one of the greatest technical wrestlers on the planet but seemed lacking in personality, but this run as champ and a bad guy has been so entertaining. He retains the title in ridiculous and cheap ways and it has been fun to watch. Sheamus is the Royal Rumble winner and it has seemed like the WWE has been gearing him up for a good push for a while. It is always possible Bryan retains and his quiet, nerd girlfriend AJ pulls some shenanigans to help him and turns heel but that seems like it would be way too WCW and far more unlikely than Sheamus getting his push. This will likely be a pretty good match, and Sheamus will win the title.
WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: While people probably aren’t as excited for this as they are for HHH-Taker or Rock-Cena, this is probably going to be the match of the night. There are rumors this could open the show, which I find to be idiotic since such a well-built match for the biggest belt in the company should be worth more than the opening slot. A few weeks ago Punk suggested to Jericho that they go out and put on the best technical wrestling match in WrestleMania history. A tall order considering classics like Savage-Steamboat, Angle-Benoit, Angle-Michaels, Jericho-Michaels, Hart-Hart, and Hart-Michaels all have taken place on the grandest stage of them all. Though really if any two performers could go out there and do it, it would be these guys. Jericho has been gold on the mic in this feud. He has spent the last three weeks attacking CM Punk’s family. First, as Punk was in the ring Jericho appeared on the video screen to say he knows Punk is straight edge because his father is an alcoholic. The next week he said he wouldn’t make comments about Punk’s father, but instead brought up Punk’s sister having a substance abuse problem. Then this past Monday he said Punk’s parents got married after Punk was born, making him a bastard. That has caused Punk to go crazy and he has vowed to beat the hell out of Jericho. This should be a great match and will hopefully be a classic, though it isn’t getting the hype it deserves. As for a result, I could buy Jericho winning since the next pay per view is in Chicago, Punk’s hometown, so Punk could chase the title and regain it in front of a rabid hometown audience. That would be a cool way to go, but I still look at it as if it were 2002 and the WWE just hates Jericho and never wants him to win, so CM Punk retains.
Hell in a Cell with Special Referee Shawn Michaels - Triple H vs. Undertaker: The match is being dubbed as “The End of an Era.” Of course this is the end of the Attitude Era, the late-90s era that made the WWF popular again. These two guys are the last ones left from that time period, other than The Rock but when you work one match every seven years it doesn’t count. Also noteworthy is that Undertaker is looking to make his WrestleMania record a ridiculous 20-0. This is a rematch of last year’s bout where Aitches beat Undertaker so bad the Deadman couldn’t stand up but still had enough strength to choke Trips out. Undertaker needs redemption for almost losing, and Triple H needs to prove he’s the man. Shawn Michaels gets inserted since he’s best friends with Triple H and bitter rivals with Undertaker. At Manias 25 and 26 Michaels lost to Taker and retired, so they’ve built drama by making it seem like Michaels may screw over Triple H so he can’t do what Michaels failed to do. At the same time HBK could screw over Taker so he still can be the man who ended the streak. I don’t know if this match will suck, but I expect it to be boring and feature a lot of these guys laying around tired. This will most likely be Undertaker’s last match since he literally has nothing left to do. He takes off 10 months then comes back to hype up WrestleMania, win, then take off another 10 months. It has been that way for a couple years now. He’s in no kind of shape, had to shave his head since he’s balding so bad, looks too weak to stand after matches, and really he has nothing left to do. This will be a long match, Shawn Michaels will superkick somebody, and Undertaker goes 20-0. The bigger prediction here is from the start of the entrances all the way to the final pinfall or submission, how long will this entire thing be? I’m saying 56 minutes. Yes, nearly an hour of a four hour program is going to this.
Once In a Liftetime (Until they do a rematch at next year’s Mania) The Rock vs John Cena: I’ve written about how the build to this match absolutely sucked for months since they announced this match a year ago. The Rock has only been around to promote it this last month, and as sick as this is to say I’ve actually enjoyed the fact the WWE has had Cena get the better of him in their promos. This is all intentional since WWE doesn’t want Cena getting booed too bad at Mania so they’ve had him come across as the “real” person and Rock look like Hollywood. The crowd is going to be as insane as they were for Rock-Hogan ten years ago. Maybe even more insane since this is in Miami, The Great One’s hometown. This is going to be a very pro-Rock crowd because it is Miami, because of nostalgia, and because there are a lot of people who are still mad Cena has been shoved down everybody’s throats as the new Hogan or even the new Rock. The match itself is not going to be very good. I know Rock has been working hard to get back in ring shape and all, but he was never a particularly great worker in his prime and the fact he’s worked one match since WrestleMania XX doesn’t make me think he’s improved. Cena is also not a particularly great worker though he has gotten better over the last few years. There will be some power moves, a lot of rest holds, and they will probably both kick out of a few of each other’s finishers. A lot of people think Cena turns heel and Rock wins, but I don’t buy it. Cena moves too much merch to turn him heel, and while that would be cool and would bring some freshness to Cena’s character the WWE never goes with the obvious or cool move. There are rumors of a rematch next year at Mania so that is sparking theories that Rock wins tonight then returns the favor next year. I feel people are adding more drama to this match than necessary. Also there are some rumblings of a former WWE star being re-signed (Potential Spoiler Alert?) so if that is true maybe that will have an effect on this match. If not, then it is pretty simple to me: Hogan did the job for Rock at X-8, and Hogan NEVER loses, so it only makes sense that the guy who was more than willing to put anybody over back in the day does it again. You have to put over the current generation, so Cena wins.
So that's it. It should be a pretty fun show since the top four matches are all pretty solid. And there are rumors that my boy Batista is going to be making a return tonight. I hope that's true since the last time I was this pumped for a Mania, I was in 8th grade and Batista was facing Triple H for the World Championship. Either way, it isn't every WrestleMania where you get one of the biggest main events of all time so tonight is pretty monumental.
Friday, March 30, 2012
BBB's 25 Greatest Wrestlers of All Time: 5-1
Here is the epic conclusion to the greatest list ever composed. If you’ve missed anything at all here is 25-21, 20-16, 15-11, and 10-6.
A little bit of required reading for this part today since two of the parties mentioned were involved in one of the craziest, real moments in the history of the business. I wrote about that a couple months ago which you can find here. Have to plug my own stuff every now and again. But enough of that. Here are numbers 5-1:
5. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
Joe: Austin was the savior of the WWF in the 90s. After being fired from WCW, he went to work in ECW where he did awesome promos and planted the seeds for what would become the “Stone Cold” character that would usher in the “Attitude Era” and save the business. The Attitude Era began with two key moments involving Stone Cold. First, after winning King of the Ring in 1996 Austin got on the mic and addressed Jake Roberts, whose gimmick became that he was a super Christian. Austin said that while Jake talks about John 3:16, “Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass.” And with that a star was born. The next year at WrestleMania he faced Bret Hart in a submission match. Hart busts him wide open and throws him in the Sharpshooter. Austin is bleeding everywhere, screaming in pain, then passes out without ever submitting. The image of Austin with blood running down onto his teeth, screaming in agony made him into The Man. That match also turned him face and is what started him on the path to becoming one of the top three stars ever. Of course, the entire Austin craze almost didn’t happen when Owen Hart botched a piledriver and broke Austin’s neck in 1997. Six years later, problems stemming from that would cause Austin to retire but he worked one final WrestleMania with The Rock to finish things off right. Austin was wrestling’s biggest star since Hulk Hogan and was the reason the WWF was successful enough to put WCW out of business. He was the man, and if that rumored match between him and CM Punk takes place at next year’s WrestleMania it will be an amazing last hurrah for Stone Cold.
Jimmy: I was never really a fan of Austin, but I understand his importance. As a matter of fact, I stopped watching WWF when he took off as the top face because I thought it was just trashy and I ended up missing most of the Attitude Era as a result. Austin was the first real anti-hero to become popular in mainstream wrestling, as before him it was traditional face and heel alignment. His Stone Cold Steve Austin run is really what got him this high on the list, as I’m pretty sure that it was the highest grossing run in wrestling history. His WCW days as the Hollywood Blond Stunning Steve Austin were marked by techincal proficiency, but he never really made it past the midcard. His brief run in ECW showcased his true charisma and shades of the character that became Stone Cold. As for that character, Stone Cold changed everything for WWF and brought it back from the verge of collapse. Every major character after that point either went two paths - Hoganesque unstoppable face or anti-authoritarian sociopath. He had two great matches with Bret Hart between 1996 and 1997 that really put him over and was a part of legendary feuds with Vince McMahon and the Rock. The Vince feud set the template for essentially every Vince McMahon storyline since, but at the time it was revolutionary. I also very much enjoyed his time during the WCW/ECW Alliance period and subsequent fallout when he was just flat out weird.
4. Shawn Michaels
Jimmy: Another guy I never really liked during his prime, but I will confess to enjoying his run between 2003 and 2009. Part of my experience with HBK is tainted by the fact that I always liked Bret Hart more and thought Michaels was a woman. That probably came out of the fact that he superkicked Marty Jannetty through a plate glass window and ended the teaming of the Rockers, the most awesome tag team ever, an act I never forgave him for. Of course due to this, I overlooked the fact he had a great match with Kevin “Diesel” Nash, no small feat. His promos were great in DX and were the first time I thought he was interesting. The fact that he was a total dick that refused to job to anyone and was basically forced to usher in the Austin Era certainly never helped make him more likeable to me either. His comeback in the 2000s after a lengthy injury turned me into a fan though. He had a couple great matches with Triple H (and some really overdone ones) and a few great storylines with Chris Jericho. He was part of two of the best matches of the decade - the Wrestlemania 20 Triple Threat with Triple H and Benoit and at Wrestlemania 21 with Kurt Angle. The Angle one in particular was one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. He “retired” Ric Flair in one of the most memorable bouts in Wrestlemania history, managed to get a watchable match out of mid-2000s Hogan and carried Triple H in the second DX run. Joe had him at 2 and I had him at 9. I probably jobbed him out a bit, but he screwed Bret so fuck him.
Joe: WWE says that Michaels is the greatest of all time, but that is not exactly the case. He also serious ego and drug problems in the 90s, most of which are detailed in the Montreal Screwjob piece I linked to above. Luckily his run in the 2000s saved his career and made it more than just a career with some good matches but loads of off-screen trouble. He had to retire in 1998 due to back issues but came back in 2002. In the 90s, his match with Mick Foley at Mind Games, the Ironman match with Bret Hart at WrestleMania XII, the ladder match with Scott Hall at WrestleMania X, and the first Hell in a Cell with Undertaker were all-time greats, but his best work was still years away. He regularly put on classics in the 2000s. Jericho at Mania XIX, Triple H and Benoit at Mania XX, Angle at Mania 21, Undertaker at Mania 25 are four of the best matches in WWE history. The match with Ric Flair’s career on the line at WrestleMania XXIV was outstanding and it was because of Michaels’ amazing in-ring ability that the Nature Boy’s last WWE match was a terrific send off. In the 90s the WWE wanted you to believe Michaels could work with anybody and put on a show unlike anything you’d seen, but it wasn’t until the 2000s he started living that. While I think his gimmick of being the “boy toy” and the fact he wasn’t even the best worker of his generation in the 90s work against him, the fact he was putting on clinics night in and night out in the 2000s solidifies his spot as a great.
3. Ric Flair
Jimmy: Ric Flair is probably the greatest combination of workrate and charisma. His promos from his time in NWA/WCW through his first WWF run were absolute gold. Through these and his “Flair vs. broomstick” style, he made deadweight like Magnum TA, Lex Luger and Sting look like absolute gods and had feuds with Terry Funk and Ricky Steamboat that set the bar pretty high for quality. The original 4 Horsemen set the bar for every stable in pro wrestling that wasn’t the Road Warriors or nWo (in all its incarnations). When he came to WWF as “the Real World’s Champion” and won the 1992 Royal Rumble in an epic performance, I wept like a baby. He was such a heel! When he returned to WCW in the mid-90s, it was a bit lackluster as Hogan ran train on the company and Flair ceased to be Flair. His return to the WWE in the early 2000s was great and his stint as Triple H’s manager was the best part of Triple H at that time. His antics ringside were the only watchable part of H’s matches with Scott Steiner in 2003 and Flair did all the work in getting the Evolution stable over since Orton was too green, Batista was a hoss and Triple H is charismatically challenged sometimes. When Orton turned face, he and Naitch had an amazing steel cage match that I didn’t think either man was capable of having. His final WWE match against Shawn Michaels was a fitting tribute to his career and I wish it had stayed that way. Instead he is in TNA, rehashing old feuds with Mick Foley and acting like a senile coot. Excepting his TNA run, I think the best thing you can say about Ric Flair is that he puts his all into it every single night and truly loves being part of the business. That isn’t something you can say about a lot of wrestlers.
Joe: The 16-time World Champion, the Nature Boy. Ric Flair was the guy for the NWA and WCW in the 80s. When you talk about great promo guys, Naitch is right there at the top. The classic lines are all there like, “My shoes cost more than your house!” or “stylin’ and profilin’”. Before Vince McMahon and the WWF turned wrestling into a nation-wide phenomenon, there were territories all over the country. When the NWA would roll into a territory, Flair would go out and work a match with the territory’s big star. Flair would let the guy kick the shit out of him for a half hour then he’d win in some cheap, total heel way to keep the belt but the local guy would look like a king. As wrestling got bigger, this worked against Flair. The big knock on Naitch is that he works the same match every time. That worked in the territory days since only locals would see those matches, but as wrestling became global you couldn’t always do the same spots. Generally, I feel it doesn’t really matter because of what I call the AC/DC Theory. AC/DC has had a formula since the 70s that has always worked and they stick to it and it rules. Same goes for Flair. And really Flair could go for 60 minutes any night and that is a special talent. His matches with Ricky Steamboat were always legendary and his match with Randy Savage at WrestleMania VIII is one of the less talked about classics. Also, he made stars out of guys like Sting. He put guys like Magnum TA over. He could make anybody look like a threat, and the willingness to do that is rare in the business. Even in promos he would take the time to put everybody over. His stable, the Four Horsemen, set the standard for every wrestling stable ever. Flair is slowly killing his legacy in TNA now, but here at BBB we will always cherish the good times. Same goes for the next guy.
2. Hulk Hogan
Joe: The single biggest star in the history of wrestling. Hogan is the most important guy in wrestling history other than Vince McMahon. He is also the biggest bastard in wrestling history other than Vince McMahon. For all the great moments the Hulkster has given us, which of course I will get to since I still love Hogan, his ego has robbed us of so many more. There was no match with Bret Hart in ‘93, Sting was made to look like a fool in WCW, and Shawn Michaels got jobbed out because of Hogan’s insatiable ego. As for the good stuff, Hogan had so much natural charisma he is the single reason wrestling ever became big enough that we could take the time to write this. Every little kid liked wrestling back in the day because of the Hulkster. He was the ultimate superhero. The three demandments of Hulkamania were to train, say your prayers, and take your vitamins. He was a role model for kids. As a worker, he was far from spectacular but if the match really mattered and he was in there with a good worker he could do his part. My brother pointed out Ultimate Warrior’s best match was the retirement match with Randy Savage. Warrior’s second best match is his match with Hogan, and that is because Hogan carries it and makes it watchable. Granted he wasn’t capable of a whole lot in the ring, but it didn’t matter since Hulkamania was the strongest force in the universe. Hogan’s promos were epic. His promo at Mania IV is a favorite and his promo at Mania V is the greatest promo ever in the history of the business. Grocery shopping with Mr. T was also amazing. Hogan could fire up a crowd, and as the power of Hulkamania dwindled in the ‘90s, he underwent the greatest transformation of any wrestler. Hulk Hogan, the paragon of virtue, turned his back on the fans and joined the nWo, becoming Hollywood Hulk Hogan. Not many people can say they were the biggest hero in one era and the biggest villain in another. As sad a spectacle as Hogan is now, there was a time when he was the greatest man on the face of the planet.
Jimmy: Pro wrestling exists to most people between the ages of 20-40 solely because of Hulk Hogan. He is the first real wrestling star to be a known commodity in the mainstream. Its easy to lose sight of this because of the fact he is a total scumbag with a shitty reality show and just generally turned into a shell of a man, but the fact remains Hulk Hogan is the biggest star in the history of professional wrestling. There’s no John Cena, there’s no Rock, there’s no a lot of people without Hogan there to set the template. He had the catchphrases, the finishing move, the merchandise (oh, the merchandise!) and the look. He also happens to be, along with Randy Savage and Rick Rude, the only person to get an enjoyable match out of the Ultimate Warrior. Hulkster was one of my childhood heroes between the ages of five and nine, as he was for probably every boy at that same time. He beat King Kong Bundy, slammed Andre, won the battle of the Mega Powers and beat Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. With Hogan, anything was possible. He followed up the steroid confession and decline of his face run in the early 1990s by shocking the world in 1996 and turning heel. His nWo promo at Bash at the Beach was one of the greatest of all-time and I have always believed that WWF couldn’t have gotten away with the Attitude Era if Hulk Hogan, the quintessential babyface hero, didn’t turn his back on the fans and become dastardly. Of course, like his face run, this heel turn went on too long and he monopolized the main event in WCW just as much as he did in WWF. His 2002 return started out well enough and I like to think of his career as essentially ending when he faced the Rock at Wrestlemania 18 in a great nostalgia match that showed the appreciation fans still had for him after a lackluster 1998-2001 in his career where he became an afterthought. Although he followed this up with an ill-fated title run, he did put over Brock Lesnar strongly. In 2005 and 2006 he showed he still had some juice and went over Michaels and Orton at consecutive Summerslams. Regardless of physical decline, Hogan kept his character strong and to that end that’s rare.
1. Bret Hart
Joe: When it comes to in-ring work, nobody is better than the Hitman. Bret was passable on the mic, but you don’t need to be that great on the mic when your gimmick is that you are the greatest technical wrestler in the world. A fitting gimmick considering he backed it up time and time again and proved that he truly was the Excellence of Execution. It wasn’t bullshit when he’d go out and call himself, “The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.” When tag team wrestling still meant something, Bret was a part of the successful Hart Foundation. As a singles star he made a habit of putting on some of the greatest matches of all time. To name a few: British Bulldog at SummerSlam ‘92, Mr. Perfect at King of the Ring ‘93, Owen Hart at WrestleMania X, Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XII, Steve Austin at WrestleMania 13, Undertaker at SummerSlam ‘97, and Chris Benoit in WCW. That match with Bulldog is the ultimate highlight of Bulldog’s career, with Bret putting him over in front of his hometown fans in London. Bret also put over Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin. Bret and Michaels worked the 60-minute Ironman match at WrestleMania XII that culminated in Michaels winning his first world title and beginning his time as the WWF’s golden boy. Luckily in the last few years the WWE has put the shame of the Montreal Screwjob behind them and embraced Hart’s legacy again. When the steroid scandal made wrestling a dirty word in the early 90s, Bret was the guy who carried the flag for the company. He was an extremely popular champion overseas when wrestling wasn’t big in America and he worked matches with anybody and everybody. He always made his opponents look good and never injured somebody in the ring. Current WWE Champion and future BBB Hall of Famer (such a hall doesn’t exist but it will at some point I’m sure) CM Punk summed it up by saying, “He is the perennial wrestler’s wrestler. No lie — best there is, best there was, best there will ever be.”
Jimmy: Bret Hart, apart from being my favorite wrestler, is the greatest worker of all-time by far. He could do technical masterpiece (Michaels, Perfect, Benoit) and he could do wild brawl (Austin). He could work a decent match with men with big men of average to subpar skills (Undertaker, Nash, Yokozuna) and he could put on a masterful performance against family (Owen, British Bulldog). He wasn’t the best talker, but he could get by and his in ring intensity and skills as a ring general overcame that. Bret Hart and Ted DibBiase worked a match together a long time ago that ended with Bret putting DiBiase in a small package, only to have the move reversed by the DiBiase for the win and it was the first time I ever understood the technical side of wrestling. Before that, it was Hogan and Warrior muscles and pomp. Bret was a workhorse and I loved that about him. Its sad that the defining moment of his WWF career became the Montreal Screwjob when it should be the fact that he successfully main evented shows with Bob Backlund in 1994 and did the most of any star in the company to get Steve Austin over, even turning heel for the first time to do so. He and Austin had amazing chemistry and their Wrestlemania XIII produced one of the most defining moments in that era, Austin covered in blood while in the Sharpshooter. His heel turn where he was popular in Canada and Europe and dastardly in the USA was well done and he made the most of it. It was a revelation to see how well he went with it. WCW completely blew his run, ruining first ever feuds with Hogan and making him look generally second-rate. Of course, if you ask Bret about this it is because Hogan was always afraid of him, in 1993 and in 1998. I know because I asked him when Joe and I met him. His career was cut short by a kick to the skull from Goldberg and a stroke a few years later, but it was nice to see him back on WWE TV the last few years and successfully close the book on his career with them. It went a long way to eliminating that image of him as a bitter, broken man and let him end his career with Vince McMahon on a high note.
So that is it! Thanks for reading!
A little bit of required reading for this part today since two of the parties mentioned were involved in one of the craziest, real moments in the history of the business. I wrote about that a couple months ago which you can find here. Have to plug my own stuff every now and again. But enough of that. Here are numbers 5-1:
5. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
Joe: Austin was the savior of the WWF in the 90s. After being fired from WCW, he went to work in ECW where he did awesome promos and planted the seeds for what would become the “Stone Cold” character that would usher in the “Attitude Era” and save the business. The Attitude Era began with two key moments involving Stone Cold. First, after winning King of the Ring in 1996 Austin got on the mic and addressed Jake Roberts, whose gimmick became that he was a super Christian. Austin said that while Jake talks about John 3:16, “Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass.” And with that a star was born. The next year at WrestleMania he faced Bret Hart in a submission match. Hart busts him wide open and throws him in the Sharpshooter. Austin is bleeding everywhere, screaming in pain, then passes out without ever submitting. The image of Austin with blood running down onto his teeth, screaming in agony made him into The Man. That match also turned him face and is what started him on the path to becoming one of the top three stars ever. Of course, the entire Austin craze almost didn’t happen when Owen Hart botched a piledriver and broke Austin’s neck in 1997. Six years later, problems stemming from that would cause Austin to retire but he worked one final WrestleMania with The Rock to finish things off right. Austin was wrestling’s biggest star since Hulk Hogan and was the reason the WWF was successful enough to put WCW out of business. He was the man, and if that rumored match between him and CM Punk takes place at next year’s WrestleMania it will be an amazing last hurrah for Stone Cold.
Jimmy: I was never really a fan of Austin, but I understand his importance. As a matter of fact, I stopped watching WWF when he took off as the top face because I thought it was just trashy and I ended up missing most of the Attitude Era as a result. Austin was the first real anti-hero to become popular in mainstream wrestling, as before him it was traditional face and heel alignment. His Stone Cold Steve Austin run is really what got him this high on the list, as I’m pretty sure that it was the highest grossing run in wrestling history. His WCW days as the Hollywood Blond Stunning Steve Austin were marked by techincal proficiency, but he never really made it past the midcard. His brief run in ECW showcased his true charisma and shades of the character that became Stone Cold. As for that character, Stone Cold changed everything for WWF and brought it back from the verge of collapse. Every major character after that point either went two paths - Hoganesque unstoppable face or anti-authoritarian sociopath. He had two great matches with Bret Hart between 1996 and 1997 that really put him over and was a part of legendary feuds with Vince McMahon and the Rock. The Vince feud set the template for essentially every Vince McMahon storyline since, but at the time it was revolutionary. I also very much enjoyed his time during the WCW/ECW Alliance period and subsequent fallout when he was just flat out weird.
4. Shawn Michaels
Jimmy: Another guy I never really liked during his prime, but I will confess to enjoying his run between 2003 and 2009. Part of my experience with HBK is tainted by the fact that I always liked Bret Hart more and thought Michaels was a woman. That probably came out of the fact that he superkicked Marty Jannetty through a plate glass window and ended the teaming of the Rockers, the most awesome tag team ever, an act I never forgave him for. Of course due to this, I overlooked the fact he had a great match with Kevin “Diesel” Nash, no small feat. His promos were great in DX and were the first time I thought he was interesting. The fact that he was a total dick that refused to job to anyone and was basically forced to usher in the Austin Era certainly never helped make him more likeable to me either. His comeback in the 2000s after a lengthy injury turned me into a fan though. He had a couple great matches with Triple H (and some really overdone ones) and a few great storylines with Chris Jericho. He was part of two of the best matches of the decade - the Wrestlemania 20 Triple Threat with Triple H and Benoit and at Wrestlemania 21 with Kurt Angle. The Angle one in particular was one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. He “retired” Ric Flair in one of the most memorable bouts in Wrestlemania history, managed to get a watchable match out of mid-2000s Hogan and carried Triple H in the second DX run. Joe had him at 2 and I had him at 9. I probably jobbed him out a bit, but he screwed Bret so fuck him.
Joe: WWE says that Michaels is the greatest of all time, but that is not exactly the case. He also serious ego and drug problems in the 90s, most of which are detailed in the Montreal Screwjob piece I linked to above. Luckily his run in the 2000s saved his career and made it more than just a career with some good matches but loads of off-screen trouble. He had to retire in 1998 due to back issues but came back in 2002. In the 90s, his match with Mick Foley at Mind Games, the Ironman match with Bret Hart at WrestleMania XII, the ladder match with Scott Hall at WrestleMania X, and the first Hell in a Cell with Undertaker were all-time greats, but his best work was still years away. He regularly put on classics in the 2000s. Jericho at Mania XIX, Triple H and Benoit at Mania XX, Angle at Mania 21, Undertaker at Mania 25 are four of the best matches in WWE history. The match with Ric Flair’s career on the line at WrestleMania XXIV was outstanding and it was because of Michaels’ amazing in-ring ability that the Nature Boy’s last WWE match was a terrific send off. In the 90s the WWE wanted you to believe Michaels could work with anybody and put on a show unlike anything you’d seen, but it wasn’t until the 2000s he started living that. While I think his gimmick of being the “boy toy” and the fact he wasn’t even the best worker of his generation in the 90s work against him, the fact he was putting on clinics night in and night out in the 2000s solidifies his spot as a great.
3. Ric Flair
Jimmy: Ric Flair is probably the greatest combination of workrate and charisma. His promos from his time in NWA/WCW through his first WWF run were absolute gold. Through these and his “Flair vs. broomstick” style, he made deadweight like Magnum TA, Lex Luger and Sting look like absolute gods and had feuds with Terry Funk and Ricky Steamboat that set the bar pretty high for quality. The original 4 Horsemen set the bar for every stable in pro wrestling that wasn’t the Road Warriors or nWo (in all its incarnations). When he came to WWF as “the Real World’s Champion” and won the 1992 Royal Rumble in an epic performance, I wept like a baby. He was such a heel! When he returned to WCW in the mid-90s, it was a bit lackluster as Hogan ran train on the company and Flair ceased to be Flair. His return to the WWE in the early 2000s was great and his stint as Triple H’s manager was the best part of Triple H at that time. His antics ringside were the only watchable part of H’s matches with Scott Steiner in 2003 and Flair did all the work in getting the Evolution stable over since Orton was too green, Batista was a hoss and Triple H is charismatically challenged sometimes. When Orton turned face, he and Naitch had an amazing steel cage match that I didn’t think either man was capable of having. His final WWE match against Shawn Michaels was a fitting tribute to his career and I wish it had stayed that way. Instead he is in TNA, rehashing old feuds with Mick Foley and acting like a senile coot. Excepting his TNA run, I think the best thing you can say about Ric Flair is that he puts his all into it every single night and truly loves being part of the business. That isn’t something you can say about a lot of wrestlers.
Joe: The 16-time World Champion, the Nature Boy. Ric Flair was the guy for the NWA and WCW in the 80s. When you talk about great promo guys, Naitch is right there at the top. The classic lines are all there like, “My shoes cost more than your house!” or “stylin’ and profilin’”. Before Vince McMahon and the WWF turned wrestling into a nation-wide phenomenon, there were territories all over the country. When the NWA would roll into a territory, Flair would go out and work a match with the territory’s big star. Flair would let the guy kick the shit out of him for a half hour then he’d win in some cheap, total heel way to keep the belt but the local guy would look like a king. As wrestling got bigger, this worked against Flair. The big knock on Naitch is that he works the same match every time. That worked in the territory days since only locals would see those matches, but as wrestling became global you couldn’t always do the same spots. Generally, I feel it doesn’t really matter because of what I call the AC/DC Theory. AC/DC has had a formula since the 70s that has always worked and they stick to it and it rules. Same goes for Flair. And really Flair could go for 60 minutes any night and that is a special talent. His matches with Ricky Steamboat were always legendary and his match with Randy Savage at WrestleMania VIII is one of the less talked about classics. Also, he made stars out of guys like Sting. He put guys like Magnum TA over. He could make anybody look like a threat, and the willingness to do that is rare in the business. Even in promos he would take the time to put everybody over. His stable, the Four Horsemen, set the standard for every wrestling stable ever. Flair is slowly killing his legacy in TNA now, but here at BBB we will always cherish the good times. Same goes for the next guy.
2. Hulk Hogan
Joe: The single biggest star in the history of wrestling. Hogan is the most important guy in wrestling history other than Vince McMahon. He is also the biggest bastard in wrestling history other than Vince McMahon. For all the great moments the Hulkster has given us, which of course I will get to since I still love Hogan, his ego has robbed us of so many more. There was no match with Bret Hart in ‘93, Sting was made to look like a fool in WCW, and Shawn Michaels got jobbed out because of Hogan’s insatiable ego. As for the good stuff, Hogan had so much natural charisma he is the single reason wrestling ever became big enough that we could take the time to write this. Every little kid liked wrestling back in the day because of the Hulkster. He was the ultimate superhero. The three demandments of Hulkamania were to train, say your prayers, and take your vitamins. He was a role model for kids. As a worker, he was far from spectacular but if the match really mattered and he was in there with a good worker he could do his part. My brother pointed out Ultimate Warrior’s best match was the retirement match with Randy Savage. Warrior’s second best match is his match with Hogan, and that is because Hogan carries it and makes it watchable. Granted he wasn’t capable of a whole lot in the ring, but it didn’t matter since Hulkamania was the strongest force in the universe. Hogan’s promos were epic. His promo at Mania IV is a favorite and his promo at Mania V is the greatest promo ever in the history of the business. Grocery shopping with Mr. T was also amazing. Hogan could fire up a crowd, and as the power of Hulkamania dwindled in the ‘90s, he underwent the greatest transformation of any wrestler. Hulk Hogan, the paragon of virtue, turned his back on the fans and joined the nWo, becoming Hollywood Hulk Hogan. Not many people can say they were the biggest hero in one era and the biggest villain in another. As sad a spectacle as Hogan is now, there was a time when he was the greatest man on the face of the planet.
Jimmy: Pro wrestling exists to most people between the ages of 20-40 solely because of Hulk Hogan. He is the first real wrestling star to be a known commodity in the mainstream. Its easy to lose sight of this because of the fact he is a total scumbag with a shitty reality show and just generally turned into a shell of a man, but the fact remains Hulk Hogan is the biggest star in the history of professional wrestling. There’s no John Cena, there’s no Rock, there’s no a lot of people without Hogan there to set the template. He had the catchphrases, the finishing move, the merchandise (oh, the merchandise!) and the look. He also happens to be, along with Randy Savage and Rick Rude, the only person to get an enjoyable match out of the Ultimate Warrior. Hulkster was one of my childhood heroes between the ages of five and nine, as he was for probably every boy at that same time. He beat King Kong Bundy, slammed Andre, won the battle of the Mega Powers and beat Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. With Hogan, anything was possible. He followed up the steroid confession and decline of his face run in the early 1990s by shocking the world in 1996 and turning heel. His nWo promo at Bash at the Beach was one of the greatest of all-time and I have always believed that WWF couldn’t have gotten away with the Attitude Era if Hulk Hogan, the quintessential babyface hero, didn’t turn his back on the fans and become dastardly. Of course, like his face run, this heel turn went on too long and he monopolized the main event in WCW just as much as he did in WWF. His 2002 return started out well enough and I like to think of his career as essentially ending when he faced the Rock at Wrestlemania 18 in a great nostalgia match that showed the appreciation fans still had for him after a lackluster 1998-2001 in his career where he became an afterthought. Although he followed this up with an ill-fated title run, he did put over Brock Lesnar strongly. In 2005 and 2006 he showed he still had some juice and went over Michaels and Orton at consecutive Summerslams. Regardless of physical decline, Hogan kept his character strong and to that end that’s rare.
1. Bret Hart
Joe: When it comes to in-ring work, nobody is better than the Hitman. Bret was passable on the mic, but you don’t need to be that great on the mic when your gimmick is that you are the greatest technical wrestler in the world. A fitting gimmick considering he backed it up time and time again and proved that he truly was the Excellence of Execution. It wasn’t bullshit when he’d go out and call himself, “The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.” When tag team wrestling still meant something, Bret was a part of the successful Hart Foundation. As a singles star he made a habit of putting on some of the greatest matches of all time. To name a few: British Bulldog at SummerSlam ‘92, Mr. Perfect at King of the Ring ‘93, Owen Hart at WrestleMania X, Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XII, Steve Austin at WrestleMania 13, Undertaker at SummerSlam ‘97, and Chris Benoit in WCW. That match with Bulldog is the ultimate highlight of Bulldog’s career, with Bret putting him over in front of his hometown fans in London. Bret also put over Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin. Bret and Michaels worked the 60-minute Ironman match at WrestleMania XII that culminated in Michaels winning his first world title and beginning his time as the WWF’s golden boy. Luckily in the last few years the WWE has put the shame of the Montreal Screwjob behind them and embraced Hart’s legacy again. When the steroid scandal made wrestling a dirty word in the early 90s, Bret was the guy who carried the flag for the company. He was an extremely popular champion overseas when wrestling wasn’t big in America and he worked matches with anybody and everybody. He always made his opponents look good and never injured somebody in the ring. Current WWE Champion and future BBB Hall of Famer (such a hall doesn’t exist but it will at some point I’m sure) CM Punk summed it up by saying, “He is the perennial wrestler’s wrestler. No lie — best there is, best there was, best there will ever be.”
Jimmy: Bret Hart, apart from being my favorite wrestler, is the greatest worker of all-time by far. He could do technical masterpiece (Michaels, Perfect, Benoit) and he could do wild brawl (Austin). He could work a decent match with men with big men of average to subpar skills (Undertaker, Nash, Yokozuna) and he could put on a masterful performance against family (Owen, British Bulldog). He wasn’t the best talker, but he could get by and his in ring intensity and skills as a ring general overcame that. Bret Hart and Ted DibBiase worked a match together a long time ago that ended with Bret putting DiBiase in a small package, only to have the move reversed by the DiBiase for the win and it was the first time I ever understood the technical side of wrestling. Before that, it was Hogan and Warrior muscles and pomp. Bret was a workhorse and I loved that about him. Its sad that the defining moment of his WWF career became the Montreal Screwjob when it should be the fact that he successfully main evented shows with Bob Backlund in 1994 and did the most of any star in the company to get Steve Austin over, even turning heel for the first time to do so. He and Austin had amazing chemistry and their Wrestlemania XIII produced one of the most defining moments in that era, Austin covered in blood while in the Sharpshooter. His heel turn where he was popular in Canada and Europe and dastardly in the USA was well done and he made the most of it. It was a revelation to see how well he went with it. WCW completely blew his run, ruining first ever feuds with Hogan and making him look generally second-rate. Of course, if you ask Bret about this it is because Hogan was always afraid of him, in 1993 and in 1998. I know because I asked him when Joe and I met him. His career was cut short by a kick to the skull from Goldberg and a stroke a few years later, but it was nice to see him back on WWE TV the last few years and successfully close the book on his career with them. It went a long way to eliminating that image of him as a bitter, broken man and let him end his career with Vince McMahon on a high note.
So that is it! Thanks for reading!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
BBB's 25 Greatest Wrestlers of All Time: 10-6
The legend continues. We are now down to the top 10. If you missed the other parts here is 25-21, 20-16, 15-11. Here we go with numbers 10-6:
10. “Macho Man” Randy Savage
Joe: Most people will say Andre the Giant is Hogan’s greatest rival, but to me it will forever be the Macho Man. The Mega Powers exploding at WrestleMania V is something I’ve written about before and is my favorite feud of all time and what I believe to be the best built Mania main event ever. He worked as a foil for Hulkamania because he was just as coked up as Hogan and equally incoherent. Randy Savage is probably known by most people as the Slim Jim guy, but aside from enjoying wonderful snack food he was one of the greatest performers to ever lace up a pair of boots. Savage was a terrific worker. The match with Ricky Steamboat from WrestleMania III is always hailed as a classic. Macho always had the coolest theme song and entrance gear. Miss Elizabeth, his real life wife, was one of the greatest managers of all time. From the time I was a little boy I’ve always been a big Macho Man fan and I was very sad when he died last year. The images of Savage doing the double axehandle smash off the top rope and the diving elbow drop are some of my earliest wrestling memories. I will always remember those more than his rap album where he calls out Hulk Hogan for a legit fight. Macho was a perfectionist in the ring and it is great to see the WWE start to embrace his legacy more over the last few years.
Jimmy: The Macho Man was an absolutely friggin ridiculous human being. I don’t even know what more to say besides that. He had the two best WWF matches of the 80s, at Wrestlemania III against Ricky Steamboat and V against Hogan. The Hogan feud in particular is the pinnacle of WWF’s creativity. The Mega Powers formation and explosion was so well done it is absolutely stunning that it came from the mind of Vince McMahon. His career vs. career match and feud carried the Ultimate Warrior to the greatest match that goof was ever capable of having. Therein lies the beauty of Savage - while his character, voice and mannerisms were absurdly over the top, he deserved his spot since he was a better worker than most in the ring. He was also the greatest pro wrestler to take up a career as a rapper. The best thing you can say about Randy Savage was that no matter how serious or how ridiculous the storyline he was involved in, he was alway believable and he never phoned it in.
9. Chris Jericho
Joe: If there was an MVP award in professional wrestling, Chris Jericho would totally get it for carrying the WWE and being the most entertaining part of Monday Night Raw, the company’s flagship show, from the fall of 2002 through 2005. WCW failed because they never built up new stars other than Goldberg, but if they had been smart they would have pushed Jericho all the way to the top. There are only maybe two or three guys ahead of Jericho on this list I would say are better in-ring workers, and when it comes to mic skills only Flair and The Rock may be better. He can be hilarious or deadly serious and always the most entertaining guy on the screen while he does it. You could put Jericho in any feud or put any championship on him. He made Shelton Benjamin look like a threat and he gave Cena the rub. There’s nothing Jericho can’t do, and of course his career highlight is being the first WWE Undisputed Champion, beating The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin in the same night. Despite that honor, Jericho never got the super push he deserved and Triple H made him look like a punk numerous times in the early 2000s. His debut in the WWF is probably the greatest debut in the history of wrestling and he had two incredible feuds with Shawn Michaels in 2003 and 2008 that each had classic matches: their WrestleMania match in 2003 and their ladder match for the World Championship in 2008.
Jimmy: I’m a bit partial towards Jericho, as I believe he was the best part of WCW and WWE at various times during his runs there. In WCW, he was the Man of 1004 Holds and owner of Ralphus Security, and if not for the old-timers running the company, could have pushed the cruiserweights into the main event where they belonged. He came to the WWF with a ton of momentum, where it was promptly thwarted by Triple H. Despite that, he managed to get the honor of unifying the WCW and WWF titles by beating the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin in the same nite, a remarkable feat for someone who was never pushed as hard as either man. From 2002-2005, he carried RAW and was the only consistently entertaining performer on the show. I’m not as big a fan of his run in WWE the past few years, but I also haven’t really watched it with any consistently. The best thing you can say about Jericho is that he could either open the show or main event and it worked. While he was always pushed to the mid-to upper mid-card, he could always believably main event and fans could buy into him enough to know that he could be champion. If this list was favorite wrestlers of all-time, Jericho would be in my top 5 with (in no particular order) Bret, Hogan, Mr. Perfect and Sabu.
8. The Undertaker
Jimmy: The perfect marriage between performer and gimmick, there is no logical reason for the Undertaker to have been so successful and still popular nearly 25 years after his debut. It is a testament to Mark Callaway’s charisma that he and only he could make this character work from its roots as a dead dude to Satanic cult leader in the Ministry of Darkness to American BadAss to back to the Dead Man. I feel like part of this is due to the fact that he is a considerably better worker than most big men in pro wrestling and that the workhorses like Hart and Flair loved working matches with him. I’m fairly certain every gimmick match ever performed that isn’t a steel cage match came out of a feud with Undertaker. He never really was the number 1 guy in the company, but he was rewarded by getting to win at Wrestlemania every single time and it has defined his career. An added bonus to that is the fact that over the past five years or so, his Mania matches, while predictable in outcome, have been great. All in all, a pretty great career for someone who should have had a one or two year lifespan, tops.
Joe: This is a weird way to phrase this, but while Taker isn’t the greatest wrestler of all time he is probably the greatest WWE Superstar ever. This November it will be 22 years since he made his debut at Survivor Series. He never jumped ship to WCW. He is a homegrown WWE star and has been there longer than anybody else. It is the perfect union of performer and gimmick, as the idea of this large unstoppable dead guy who whoops everybody’s ass never could have worked with anybody else. He will most likely extend his WrestleMania record to 20-0 this weekend, a record that will never be touched. Taker is the best working big man in the history of the business and has been praised for his ability and professionalism by guys like Ric Flair, JBL, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, and many others. Taker is one of the most over guys in the history of the business. The second the lights go out and that gong hits the crowd is ready to explode. His entrance may take like 10 minutes, but it is still exciting every time. Of course Undertaker jobs to nobody and you could literally count on one hand the times in his career he has lost clean, but he is the heart and soul of the WWE locker room. Taker had the bizarre run as the American Badass where he became some kind of hardcore biker who liked Limp Bizkit, but he’s since returned to the Deadman persona that got him to the dance.
7. Andre the Giant
Jimmy: I ranked Andre 3rd overall and Joe had him at 12, but I don’t think he fully understands just what a massive star Andre the Giant was. In an era now where massive men are par for the course, Andre would still be bigger and in the pre-ppv and cable days of the 70s and 80s there was no one more important. He carried the industry into the Hulkamania days and his feud with the aforementioned Hulkster really put Hogan over the top. Prior to that, Andre was viewed as the undefeated, immovable object both by fans and everyone in the industry. Grantland recently posted a great article about this feud and how important it was that states the case far better than I can, but I’ll sum it up. Basically, Andre didn’t do the job for anyone and certainly wouldn’t let himself get bodyslammed by someone. The only way the defining moment of Hogan’s career and 80s WWF happens is if Andre lets it, despite Hogan’s claims that he manhandled the Giant. The consensus has always been Hogan was shitting himself because Andre could be mercurial and may have refused to do the job or the slam mid-match and there wouldn’t have been anything Hogan could do. But, it didn’t work out this way and not only did he turn heel for the first time in his career for this feud, but he allowed the slam in the biggest Mania main event of all-time to this day. It was the only time Hogan was the physical underdog and they managed to tell a story and blow up the Silverdome with the slam and push Hulkamania into a new level. Simply put, Hogan never becomes the most powerful wrestler in the world and the WWF doesn’t jump off into the stratosphere without that moment.
Joe: I’m never a fan of big guys since they can’t actually work a match, but Andre was great for what he was. He set the standard for the big, badass giant and is the reason that in the last like 25 years no other big guy has worked since everybody comes off as a bad Andre rip off. One of the biggest stars in the history of the business, Andre took part in the biggest WrestleMania main event ever when he faced off against Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania III. Hogan bodyslams him in front of 90,000 people and Hulkamania becomes the strongest force in the universe. I don’t have as much interest in Andre as my brother, but I always love the stories Hulk Hogan has of Andre shitting in bathtubs and stuff. To this day he remains one of the most popular figures in the history of the business and it is because of that main event with Hogan that the Hulkster could become the super duper star that would carry wrestling into the mainstream.
6. The Rock
Joe: The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eyebrow raising People’s Champion, The Rock has charisma unrivaled by almost everybody. He is mainly a movie star now but in the last year has vowed to be more of a part of the WWE again. While never a terrific in-ring worker, his promos made him the biggest star on the planet other than Steve Austin. His matches with Austin at WrestleMania X-7 and XIX are classics, and his matches with Hogan at X8 and the upcoming bout with Cena at XXVIII are two of the biggest the WWE has ever had. His charisma is unstoppable. All he has to do is raise one eyebrow and everybody goes wild. The crowd’s reaction to his return last year when his music hit was one of the most insane things I’ve ever seen in the WWE. The Rock is so entertaining it is ridiculous and people eat up everything he says. He is one of the three biggest stars in the history of wrestling along with Hogan and Austin and with his crossover popularity he may be the biggest. The fact WWE put his name on the marquee for WrestleMania XXVIII a year in advance and have already said he’ll be a part of next year’s show is proof.
Jimmy: The most successful wrestler besides maybe Hogan, the Rock was a decent worker with through the roof charisma. Probably the most charismatic entertainer in WWF/E history, the man was a walking catchphrase machine. What is unprecedented about the Rock is that for a guy who was a number one draw he was more than willing to do the job for someone else to get them over. He did the most of anyone to get Brock Lesnar over on his way out to become a movie star and made Mick Foley a credible rival for the title. I can’t think of anyone that he didn’t have an interesting feud with, to the point where he even made Hurricane Helms watchable. While the next person on this list really jumpstarted the Attitude Era, the Rock was the one that took it to its zenith and managed to transcend pro wrestling in a way that even the Hulkster couldn’t. While many criticize him for leaving the business, its a testament to just how popular he really was that he could leave the industry and have a career in real movies and not tripe like Mr. Nanny or Santa With Muscles. This weekend he headlines Wrestlemania with John Cena, giving him two of the biggest selling matches in the past decade for the WWE.
That is it for today. The conclusion will most likely come tomorrow.
10. “Macho Man” Randy Savage
Joe: Most people will say Andre the Giant is Hogan’s greatest rival, but to me it will forever be the Macho Man. The Mega Powers exploding at WrestleMania V is something I’ve written about before and is my favorite feud of all time and what I believe to be the best built Mania main event ever. He worked as a foil for Hulkamania because he was just as coked up as Hogan and equally incoherent. Randy Savage is probably known by most people as the Slim Jim guy, but aside from enjoying wonderful snack food he was one of the greatest performers to ever lace up a pair of boots. Savage was a terrific worker. The match with Ricky Steamboat from WrestleMania III is always hailed as a classic. Macho always had the coolest theme song and entrance gear. Miss Elizabeth, his real life wife, was one of the greatest managers of all time. From the time I was a little boy I’ve always been a big Macho Man fan and I was very sad when he died last year. The images of Savage doing the double axehandle smash off the top rope and the diving elbow drop are some of my earliest wrestling memories. I will always remember those more than his rap album where he calls out Hulk Hogan for a legit fight. Macho was a perfectionist in the ring and it is great to see the WWE start to embrace his legacy more over the last few years.
Jimmy: The Macho Man was an absolutely friggin ridiculous human being. I don’t even know what more to say besides that. He had the two best WWF matches of the 80s, at Wrestlemania III against Ricky Steamboat and V against Hogan. The Hogan feud in particular is the pinnacle of WWF’s creativity. The Mega Powers formation and explosion was so well done it is absolutely stunning that it came from the mind of Vince McMahon. His career vs. career match and feud carried the Ultimate Warrior to the greatest match that goof was ever capable of having. Therein lies the beauty of Savage - while his character, voice and mannerisms were absurdly over the top, he deserved his spot since he was a better worker than most in the ring. He was also the greatest pro wrestler to take up a career as a rapper. The best thing you can say about Randy Savage was that no matter how serious or how ridiculous the storyline he was involved in, he was alway believable and he never phoned it in.
9. Chris Jericho
Joe: If there was an MVP award in professional wrestling, Chris Jericho would totally get it for carrying the WWE and being the most entertaining part of Monday Night Raw, the company’s flagship show, from the fall of 2002 through 2005. WCW failed because they never built up new stars other than Goldberg, but if they had been smart they would have pushed Jericho all the way to the top. There are only maybe two or three guys ahead of Jericho on this list I would say are better in-ring workers, and when it comes to mic skills only Flair and The Rock may be better. He can be hilarious or deadly serious and always the most entertaining guy on the screen while he does it. You could put Jericho in any feud or put any championship on him. He made Shelton Benjamin look like a threat and he gave Cena the rub. There’s nothing Jericho can’t do, and of course his career highlight is being the first WWE Undisputed Champion, beating The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin in the same night. Despite that honor, Jericho never got the super push he deserved and Triple H made him look like a punk numerous times in the early 2000s. His debut in the WWF is probably the greatest debut in the history of wrestling and he had two incredible feuds with Shawn Michaels in 2003 and 2008 that each had classic matches: their WrestleMania match in 2003 and their ladder match for the World Championship in 2008.
Jimmy: I’m a bit partial towards Jericho, as I believe he was the best part of WCW and WWE at various times during his runs there. In WCW, he was the Man of 1004 Holds and owner of Ralphus Security, and if not for the old-timers running the company, could have pushed the cruiserweights into the main event where they belonged. He came to the WWF with a ton of momentum, where it was promptly thwarted by Triple H. Despite that, he managed to get the honor of unifying the WCW and WWF titles by beating the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin in the same nite, a remarkable feat for someone who was never pushed as hard as either man. From 2002-2005, he carried RAW and was the only consistently entertaining performer on the show. I’m not as big a fan of his run in WWE the past few years, but I also haven’t really watched it with any consistently. The best thing you can say about Jericho is that he could either open the show or main event and it worked. While he was always pushed to the mid-to upper mid-card, he could always believably main event and fans could buy into him enough to know that he could be champion. If this list was favorite wrestlers of all-time, Jericho would be in my top 5 with (in no particular order) Bret, Hogan, Mr. Perfect and Sabu.
8. The Undertaker
Jimmy: The perfect marriage between performer and gimmick, there is no logical reason for the Undertaker to have been so successful and still popular nearly 25 years after his debut. It is a testament to Mark Callaway’s charisma that he and only he could make this character work from its roots as a dead dude to Satanic cult leader in the Ministry of Darkness to American BadAss to back to the Dead Man. I feel like part of this is due to the fact that he is a considerably better worker than most big men in pro wrestling and that the workhorses like Hart and Flair loved working matches with him. I’m fairly certain every gimmick match ever performed that isn’t a steel cage match came out of a feud with Undertaker. He never really was the number 1 guy in the company, but he was rewarded by getting to win at Wrestlemania every single time and it has defined his career. An added bonus to that is the fact that over the past five years or so, his Mania matches, while predictable in outcome, have been great. All in all, a pretty great career for someone who should have had a one or two year lifespan, tops.
Joe: This is a weird way to phrase this, but while Taker isn’t the greatest wrestler of all time he is probably the greatest WWE Superstar ever. This November it will be 22 years since he made his debut at Survivor Series. He never jumped ship to WCW. He is a homegrown WWE star and has been there longer than anybody else. It is the perfect union of performer and gimmick, as the idea of this large unstoppable dead guy who whoops everybody’s ass never could have worked with anybody else. He will most likely extend his WrestleMania record to 20-0 this weekend, a record that will never be touched. Taker is the best working big man in the history of the business and has been praised for his ability and professionalism by guys like Ric Flair, JBL, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, and many others. Taker is one of the most over guys in the history of the business. The second the lights go out and that gong hits the crowd is ready to explode. His entrance may take like 10 minutes, but it is still exciting every time. Of course Undertaker jobs to nobody and you could literally count on one hand the times in his career he has lost clean, but he is the heart and soul of the WWE locker room. Taker had the bizarre run as the American Badass where he became some kind of hardcore biker who liked Limp Bizkit, but he’s since returned to the Deadman persona that got him to the dance.
7. Andre the Giant
Jimmy: I ranked Andre 3rd overall and Joe had him at 12, but I don’t think he fully understands just what a massive star Andre the Giant was. In an era now where massive men are par for the course, Andre would still be bigger and in the pre-ppv and cable days of the 70s and 80s there was no one more important. He carried the industry into the Hulkamania days and his feud with the aforementioned Hulkster really put Hogan over the top. Prior to that, Andre was viewed as the undefeated, immovable object both by fans and everyone in the industry. Grantland recently posted a great article about this feud and how important it was that states the case far better than I can, but I’ll sum it up. Basically, Andre didn’t do the job for anyone and certainly wouldn’t let himself get bodyslammed by someone. The only way the defining moment of Hogan’s career and 80s WWF happens is if Andre lets it, despite Hogan’s claims that he manhandled the Giant. The consensus has always been Hogan was shitting himself because Andre could be mercurial and may have refused to do the job or the slam mid-match and there wouldn’t have been anything Hogan could do. But, it didn’t work out this way and not only did he turn heel for the first time in his career for this feud, but he allowed the slam in the biggest Mania main event of all-time to this day. It was the only time Hogan was the physical underdog and they managed to tell a story and blow up the Silverdome with the slam and push Hulkamania into a new level. Simply put, Hogan never becomes the most powerful wrestler in the world and the WWF doesn’t jump off into the stratosphere without that moment.
Joe: I’m never a fan of big guys since they can’t actually work a match, but Andre was great for what he was. He set the standard for the big, badass giant and is the reason that in the last like 25 years no other big guy has worked since everybody comes off as a bad Andre rip off. One of the biggest stars in the history of the business, Andre took part in the biggest WrestleMania main event ever when he faced off against Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania III. Hogan bodyslams him in front of 90,000 people and Hulkamania becomes the strongest force in the universe. I don’t have as much interest in Andre as my brother, but I always love the stories Hulk Hogan has of Andre shitting in bathtubs and stuff. To this day he remains one of the most popular figures in the history of the business and it is because of that main event with Hogan that the Hulkster could become the super duper star that would carry wrestling into the mainstream.
6. The Rock
Joe: The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eyebrow raising People’s Champion, The Rock has charisma unrivaled by almost everybody. He is mainly a movie star now but in the last year has vowed to be more of a part of the WWE again. While never a terrific in-ring worker, his promos made him the biggest star on the planet other than Steve Austin. His matches with Austin at WrestleMania X-7 and XIX are classics, and his matches with Hogan at X8 and the upcoming bout with Cena at XXVIII are two of the biggest the WWE has ever had. His charisma is unstoppable. All he has to do is raise one eyebrow and everybody goes wild. The crowd’s reaction to his return last year when his music hit was one of the most insane things I’ve ever seen in the WWE. The Rock is so entertaining it is ridiculous and people eat up everything he says. He is one of the three biggest stars in the history of wrestling along with Hogan and Austin and with his crossover popularity he may be the biggest. The fact WWE put his name on the marquee for WrestleMania XXVIII a year in advance and have already said he’ll be a part of next year’s show is proof.
Jimmy: The most successful wrestler besides maybe Hogan, the Rock was a decent worker with through the roof charisma. Probably the most charismatic entertainer in WWF/E history, the man was a walking catchphrase machine. What is unprecedented about the Rock is that for a guy who was a number one draw he was more than willing to do the job for someone else to get them over. He did the most of anyone to get Brock Lesnar over on his way out to become a movie star and made Mick Foley a credible rival for the title. I can’t think of anyone that he didn’t have an interesting feud with, to the point where he even made Hurricane Helms watchable. While the next person on this list really jumpstarted the Attitude Era, the Rock was the one that took it to its zenith and managed to transcend pro wrestling in a way that even the Hulkster couldn’t. While many criticize him for leaving the business, its a testament to just how popular he really was that he could leave the industry and have a career in real movies and not tripe like Mr. Nanny or Santa With Muscles. This weekend he headlines Wrestlemania with John Cena, giving him two of the biggest selling matches in the past decade for the WWE.
That is it for today. The conclusion will most likely come tomorrow.
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