The Rights and Wrongs in the Sporting World 2: The "I Loathe Miami" Edition

This is a good way to start off this post, even if I don't talk about their late-game fails

It has been a few weeks and there are many things I want to discuss so what better way to do that than to treat the world to another installment of The Rights and Wrongs? We are a few games deep into the second round of the NBA Playoffs so things are starting to get good. There are a great many things floating around my head and I don’t want to forget them so I’ll just get right to it.

The Right:
1. Chan Sung Jung – The Korean Zombie has put himself in the title hunt in the UFC’s featherweight division following a wild victory over Dustin Poirier on Fuel the other night. Zombie seemed to get winded by the time the fourth round came, but he still locked in a d’arce choke and finished Poirier off. It was a great fight with exciting stand-up and grappling, including a wild moment when Poirier took Zombie down, only for Zombie to roll right into a full mount. As far as shows on networks most people don’t get go, this was an exciting main event and Zombie has proven he can deliver an exciting fight every time. His fights against Leonard Garcia, especially the second one in which he submitted Garcia with the twister, were both entertaining and his seven second knockout of Mark Hominick was wild as well. Of course Jung wouldn’t stand much of a chance against featherweight king Jose Aldo, but really would anybody? Jung-Aldo would be an exciting fight and if you through that on the next UFC on Fox and build it up right it can be a good ratings boost and people would love it.

2. Kevin Garnett and Tim Duncan – Two of the greatest power forwards of all time, both in the twilight of their careers, have turned the clock back as of late. I have written about how Duncan is amazing here before, but after reading Chris Ballard’s piece on Timmy for Sports Illustrated I like him even more. The best statistic mentioned in the article is the .702 winning percentage the Spurs have had with Duncan, a percentage unmatched in the last 15 years by any other team in any sport. Even in NBA history there has not been such a run. Ballard touches on this for Duncan but it goes for Garnett as well, as both men played fewer minutes per game this season, but if you look at their per 36 minute stats their numbers are right in line with their stellar career marks. Duncan absolutely shit on Blake Griffin and the Clippers in Game 1 of their second round series, hanging 26 and 10 with 2 blocks and 2 steals on them. Garnett is averaging 20 and 11 (I may have done that math wrong) through the nine games Boston has played thus far. On the third page of that Ballard article he points out how Duncan loathes KG, but it is nice to see the rivals both stepping up their game.

3. CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan – I will not be watching WWE’s Over the Limit pay per view this Sunday as it is expensive and the card doesn’t appeal to me, but Punk and Bryan are going to put on an awesome WWE Championship match. Bryan is the best technical wrestler on the face of the planet, winning Wrestling Observer’s award for that for the last seven years, and Punk is high up on the list. WWE markets everything around John Cena and he’ll have a stupid match with Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis, but for the Internet Wrestling Community this WWE title match is going to be the true selling point. They’ve worked matches before, in Ring of Honor and the WWE on Raw, but to have the two best guys working a match for the biggest title in the biggest wrestling company on pay per view is what it’s all about. I will definitely be ordering a replay of the show for Bryan-Punk alone.

4. The Return of Paul E. – WWE brought back Brock Lesnar, jobbed him to John Cena, had him “break” Triple H’s arm the next night on Raw, then the next week Lesnar has his legal council announce he had quit the company. Who would be Lesnar’s legal council? None other than the greatest mind in the history of the business, Paul Heyman. Heyman was the head of the now-defunct Extreme Championship Wrestling in the ‘90s. ECW’s hardcore, edgy style was ripped off by the WWE for their “Attitude Era” and WCW mastermind Eric Bischoff hired guys like Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero away from Heyman. He wasn’t a good enough businessman to keep ECW going, but he was brilliant at booking and as an on-screen character. Jim Ross loved doing commentary with him, and as Brock Lesnar’s manager and General Manager of SmackDown he was so entertaining. His mic skills are better than most wrestler’s, and his shoot promo on Vince McMahon is one of the greatest promos in wrestling history. I haven’t watched SmackDown regularly since Heyman was its head booker in 2002-3. He made guys like Kurt Angle, Edge, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and Chavo Guerrero into gods. I will never forget the awesome fatal four-way between Angle, Benoit, Eddie, and Edge that took place on SmackDown. Heyman always knew what matches would work, and if you gave him a microphone he could get anything over. I don’t like the idea of hiring Lesnar to be this big star then holding him off TV so they can save his 24 remaining dates for the build to WrestleMania next year, but if Heyman is going to be Brock’s mouthpiece and handle this then I’m interested.

The Wrong:
1. Dwyane Wade Part 1 – In Game 2 of the Heatles’ second round series with the Indiana Pacers, Wade committed a flagrant foul on Darren Collison. Now, in the NBA there is a Flagrant 1 and a Flagrant 2. A flagrant 1 results in a technical foul, the team of the player who was fouled getting possession, and a $35,000 fine. A flagrant 2 is all of that, but the player who committed the foul is ejected and can be suspended. Here is the rule on how to define a 1 or a 2. Wade’s foul on Collison was only a flagrant 1, despite being unnecessary and totally excessive as well as unsportsmanlike. Wade hockey checked Collison, but somehow just got slapped with a flagrant 1. A few years back, Shaq at least made a play on the ball when he killed Rodney Stuckey and was hit with a flagrant 2 and ejected. Wade was pissed because he didn’t get a call when he didn’t deserve to get a call, and then he could have really hurt Darren Collison with that shove. There wasn’t even a play on the ball, nothing of the sort. That’s a punk ass foul and you can’t tell me that’s just a flagrant 1, like Tyson Chandler’s screen on LeBron (LBJ totally flopped) in the first round. This is ridiculous. Not to mention, this isn’t the first time Wade has pulled punk stuff like this. Remember last year when he pulled Rajon Rondo down, dislocating Rondo’s elbow and crushing Boston’s title hopes? Or for some reason giving a hard foul on Kobe Bryant in the All Star game this year, resulting in a broken nose and concussion?

2. Dwyane Wade Part 2 – After losing Game 2, Wade complained in the post-game presser that Indiana was celebrating too much after the win. They weren’t, but whatever.  The Bulls were pissed Indiana celebrated after beating them during the season too so this isn't the first we've heard about the Pacers being dicks.  However, if you watched the game with Miami you would have seen the buzzer sound, a few Pacers high five each other, and David West rush everybody off the floor.  No elaborate celebration. Funny Wade complains about celebrations, since I seem to remember the Heat having a championship party before signing anybody other than the big 3. I used to love Dwyane Wade but holy crap this dude is committing punk fouls and acting like a baby. This is why people don’t like Miami. Just shut up and play. We’re just getting started.

3. LeBron James Part 1 – Guys like Derrick Rose come across as humble because they are. Guys like Kobe Bryant come across as fierce, competitive dicks because they are. A guy like LeBron James puts on an act like he is humble and it is bullshit since everybody knows it is an act. If you've watched the Heat-Pacers series you have seen the video clip I'm about to rant on. After winning his third MVP in four years, LeBron said he can’t figure out why his name is mentioned with the greats of the game like Bird, Magic, Jordan, Kareem, etc. Well I could be cheap and say it is because LeBron doesn’t have a title, but it is more fun to point out how full of crap the self-proclaimed King is. Here is a guy who markets himself as “King James” and had ESPN hold an hour-long special on where he was going to sign during free agency. He was spotted wearing a shirt that said “LBJ MVP” a few years back so clearly he believes the hype. Say it is an honor and all that, but don’t act like you can’t believe you’re being mentioned with these people when you market yourself as the biggest and greatest thing to ever walk the Earth. When Steve Nash won his second MVP somebody asked him what comes to mind when he hears the names of the other people who have won multiple MVP awards or won two in a row and Nash replied, “Who doesn’t belong?” Nash never claimed to be King, so being humble seemed pretty genuine. LeBron still comes across as the guy trying to say the right things to make people like him because he realizes The Decision was a bad idea and wants to repair his image. And that is the problem: LeBron worries about his image too much.

4. LeBron James Part 2 – On Wednesday LeBron stated that it is “taxing” to play power forward with Bosh out and that playing 40 minutes or more in a playoff game is a lot and he was hoping he can get some rest. Now maybe some won’t see this as a complaint, but I feel talking about it is complaining since you would never hear Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan hint to the media that their coach should rest them or that they feel very tired playing a different position. Even Carmelo Anthony didn’t care about playing power forward, and he’s smaller than LeBron so going against other power forwards was tougher for him. Melo wasn’t complaining about how he was playing too many minutes or how it took a toll physically. He just wanted to make sure the Knicks were playing good enough defense to win, and that’s a fact no matter how weird saying that about Melo is. Maybe it wasn’t a complaint. Maybe he was just stating the case. I still feel it is worth noting Michael Jordan played 40 minutes or more in 17 of Chicago’s 21 playoff games in 1998, and he was 35 with bad knees. He wasn’t complaining about how playing more with Pippen injured against Utah was “taxing” and hoping he could get some rest, he took it on himself to kick some ass and win no matter what. That’s the mindset of guys like Jordan, Kobe, Garnett, and Duncan. They do what the team needs for a win and they don’t ask for shortcuts and they don’t complain. KG played small forward, then power forward, and now center. Not once did he complain about how physically demanding it was to switch positions or play more minutes in the playoffs. He wanted to win so he shut up and played. Is it so hard to ask that the most naturally talented athlete to ever play the game does the same?

5. NBA Officiating – If anybody reads this correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the NBA instituted a new rule this year that said if you pump fake and then lean into somebody and throw up a jumper as a means of getting an easy foul call the refs won’t call it. I hate that move so I was glad to hear this, but yet I saw Derrick Rose go to the line off one early in the season and I’ve seen Kobe do this all the time. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade make a living doing this as well. In Game 1 against Indiana Wade did this and went to the line in the second quarter, then Dahntay Jones of the Pacers tried the same thing towards the end of the quarter but got no call. I know the Heat are going to get a ton of calls, but with something like that can’t the refs at least be consistent? Correction: So after posting this last night I had to go look up this rule to make sure I got it right. I didn't, as the new NBA rule is for "rip-through" moves, meaning you can't swing your arms into a defender's and then throw up a shot and hope for a foul call. Good thing Brandon Roy retired otherwise he'd be screwed. But that pump fake thing should be a rule since that's as cheap as the rip-through.  Either way, they called it for Wade but not for Jones just a few minutes later. It was the exact same play. That isn't right.

6. WWE Booking – They are most likely going to put the John Cena-John Laurinaitis showdown as the main event for Over the Limit this Sunday. That is totally idiotic since 1) Sheamus is defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, and Alberto Del Rio and 2) CM Punk defending the WWE title against Daniel Bryan is going to be a match of the year candidate. If Laurinaitis loses then he is fired and all outside interference is banned. This of course means Laurinaitis is going to win due to some kind of interference, most likely the incredibly lame Lord Tensai attacking John Cena backstage before the match or something. The match will be roughly 8 to 10 minutes long, Johnny Ace wins, Cena will be incapacitated somehow, and everybody except children will be mad Punk-Bryan or the four-way wasn’t the main event.

So that’s about it for now. Game 3 of the Heat-Pacers series is happening as I type this and Game 2 of the Spurs-Clippers is next so I need to get ready.

The Agony and the Ecstasy: NBA Playoffs and WWE Extreme Rules

Between Saturday and Sunday, it was an absolutely insane weekend for the BBB realm. The NBA Playoffs began and for me the season ended by the end of the first game on Saturday. On Sunday night the WWE held their first pay per view event since WrestleMania, with a returning Brock Lesnar taking on John Cena in an epic main event.

First up the NBA Playoffs. The game that started off what was supposed to be an insane post-season was the 1 seed Chicago Bulls taking on the 8 seed Philadelphia 76ers. With just over a minute left and the Bulls holding a 12 point lead, Derrick Rose tore his ACL on a drive to the basket. This instantly crushes Chicago’s hopes for a championship this year and maybe for years to come as well. An ACL injury is no joke and it very likely may take a year for Rose to be in prime shape again. But what will prime shape be? Sure some people like Baron Davis have been able to regain all of their mobility following an ACL tear, but this is a major injury that once used to be a career-ender. Will Rose just be a solid, All-Star level player or can he regain his MVP form? Rose is a tremendous athlete and medicine is always improving, but it is still a long road to recovery and for somebody whose game is predicated on the ability to outrun everybody and dash to the hoop this is terrible.

The severity of the tear is still unknown and there is still no timetable for Rose’s recovery, but this takes the Bulls out of contention next season and if Rose doesn’t regain almost all of his mobility they may not be contenders again for a long time. This ruins the playoffs since the fun that would have come in a Heat-Bulls conference finals is thrown right out the window. For all the trash I talk about LeBron and the Heat, it is still just part of being a fan and the fact it is fun to rip on your team’s rivals. Now the fun is gone for me and I have little interest in the playoffs now. The Heat have just been handed the Eastern Conference Championship for the next few seasons and it is sad. It is sad for me since Rose is my favorite professional athlete in the history of life, and it should be sad for any basketball fan as well.

Regardless of if you are a Bulls fan or not, you can’t dislike Derrick Rose. He is the bravest player in the NBA and is what everybody should want out of a star. He will do whatever it takes for his team to win, gives all the credit to his team, and goes out and plays his heart out and wants the pressure of being the guy on him. It is rare for a star to demand so much from themselves, but Rose has an insane work ethic and extreme dedication. And he’s a nice guy and a terrific player. You never want to see somebody like that go down. I absolutely hate LeBron James but I would never, ever want to see him suffer an injury that could potentially ruin his career. Where is the fun in that? I would rather see him in top shape rivaling the Bulls than see him go down.

I don’t blame the condensed schedule for this, nor to I blame Tom Thibodeau for keeping Rose in the game. Thibs wanted to get Rose back in game shape and used to closing out games, and get him used to playoff minutes. It was a totally freak injury that could have happened at any time. Rose’s game is so hectic people have been saying for years that he was a major injury waiting to happen. The condensed schedule may have sped things along, but realistically it is not that surprising that Rose suffered a major leg injury. It is extremely sad, but if you think about it you can’t be shocked. I just hope Rose can make a full or close to full recovery since he has been on pace to have one of the greatest NBA careers.

As for the rest of the Eastern Conference, Miami is going to be handed their first round series with the New York Knicks. The Heat took over 20 free throws in the second quarter alone, that should say something right there. The refs even called a flagrant foul on Tyson Chandler since LeBron James started rolling around clutching his neck like he just got shot, obviously faking since he was fine within 15 seconds. The new rule in the NBA this year that if you lean into somebody then throw up a jumper the refs will not call a foul? Thrown away for that game since LBJ went to the line several times for that. In Boston’s first game against Atlanta, Rajon Rondo got eject and is facing a suspension for chest-bumping a ref while screaming at him. This very likely will cost Boston the series if he is out for more than a game, and this just means the Heat have become the luckiest team in the universe and will make it to the Finals unscathed.

Out West, San Antonio looked dominant in their first game against the Jazz. The Lakers embarrassed the Nuggets as well, and the Grizzlies squandered a massive lead, getting outscored 35-13 in the 4th and losing 99-98. I thought for sure the Grizzlies were a sleeper team and could easily clear house and make the finals, but after a collapse like that it takes some serious stones to get back in it. Dallas was able to against Portland last year since they had been through it before. Memphis has only won a playoff series once ever so they aren’t exactly the most experienced group. And how about Dallas? Nearly coming away with a win in OKC, but Kevin Durant buried a game winner with a second and a half left. Intense stuff, but Rose’s injury was like a black cloud hanging over my enjoyment of these games.

To take my mind off the sadness of Rose’s knee getting destroyed, I ordered WWE Extreme Rules. Pretty awesome show that certainly made me feel much better. The three main events totally delivered, and the undercard was entertaining as well. Randy Orton and Kane worked a falls count anywhere match that was worlds better than their WrestleMania match. They both worked really hard and while it wasn’t a technical masterpiece, it was still entertaining and they deserve some daps for that. I expected the worst match ever but it actually turned out to be a pretty good brawl. The Cody Rhodes-Big Show tables match had a great finish since the entire storyline for the match was ‘How can little Cody Rhodes throw the massive Big Show through a table?’ Well it was simple really; with a table set up next to the ring apron Big Show was standing on, Cody kicked Big Show’s leg and made him trip and step through the table. A clever, totally heel way to win. Then Big Show’s post-match freakout was awesome, spearing Rhodes and throwing him out of the ring through a table.

The first of the three main events was Daniel Bryan getting his rematch against Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship after losing at WrestleMania in 18 seconds. It was a 2-out-of-3 falls match and was brilliantly worked, and the crowd was totally into it. Bryan has been red hot since Mania as his “YES! YES! YES!” taunt has spread across the WWE Universe like wildfire and everybody is doing it. Bryan got disqualified in the first fall by repeatedly kicking Sheamus in the shoulder against the ropes after being told to stop. He worked the shoulder over for the last few minutes of the first fall, then once the second fall started he threw Sheamus in the YES! Lock and made him pass out, tying it at 1. Then they worked a nice little third fall which Sheamus won, retaining his belt. The match had great psychology and made me sad they didn’t get longer than 18 seconds to work at Mania since they have good chemistry.

After that, CM Punk defended his WWE Championship against Chris Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight. The show took place in the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Punk’s hometown. Last time they were there, Punk put on one of the greatest matches of all time with John Cena. I wouldn’t say this match was as good, but it was still great, told a pretty good story and had some cool spots. Punk’s diving elbow to Jericho through the announce table was pretty awesome, as was Jericho getting out of the Anaconda Vise by bashing Punk in the head with a Singapore cane. Punk and Jericho are two of my top five favorites of all time so I am basically guaranteed to enjoy whatever these guys do, but this match was an awesome brawl. Sheamus and Bryan worked a technical match, and Punk and Jericho worked a fight. Both were excellent championship matches, but the main event was the biggest selling point of the show and it delivered.

Brock Lesnar left the UFC since his battle with diverticulitis proved too difficult to come back from. His midsection was so weak he was totally unable to take a punch or kick to the gut without crumpling in pain. People will question his heart and effort, but he was really sick and it is admirable he was even able to return. His return to the WWE makes me laugh though because when he came out on Raw a few weeks ago Michael Cole used Brock’s UFC weight, and probably legit weight since he lost like 20-30 pounds from his illness, of 265. That was funny to me since in WWE they lie about weights and make dudes seem way bigger than usual. Then last night they said Sheamus weighs 267 and Lesnar weighs 283 so he can seem like this massive death machine. That’s what it is all about.

I loved Lesnar’s match with Cena. I hated everything about it within the first few minutes, but as it went on I loved it. I didn’t like how the show opened with a UFC style promo package where they show interview clips from both Cena and Lesnar talking very calm about how they are going to punish each other. When the match started Lesnar fought like it was an MMA fight, taking Cena down and resorting to ground and pound. Again, this isn’t the UFC so I didn’t like it. In wrestling, when people bleed they cut their foreheads open with a razor blade. A rule in WWE’s TV-PG era is that there is no blood. These guys broke blew that rule right away when Lesnar took Cena down and busted him open hard way (no blade) with elbows to the top of the skull. Obviously it was done on purpose since Lesnar stopped once he drew blood and they wanted Cena to bleed to make Lesnar look like an animal.

But it was lame since they had the ref put on rubber gloves because of the blood like this is MMA and they had doctors check on the cut and try to stop the bleeding like it is MMA. At Survivor Series ‘03 Vince McMahon bladed after the first punch thrown by Undertaker and lost like half the blood in his body and nobody checked on him! Having the ref stop the match over blood is not something that happens in WWE and I hated it. WWE is an elaborate performance, not the UFC, so I don’t like when they try to act like it is and mooch of the UFC’s heat. I didn’t like how Lesnar’s new ring gear is MMA trunks and gloves, I didn’t like any of this fake MMA stuff they tried doing with the takedowns and ground and pound. I’ve seen Lesnar break Heath Herring’s orbital and beat him into retirement. I’ve seen Lesnar pound Frank Mir’s face in so hard Mir looked like an alien after the first round was done. How am I supposed to believe Lesnar using his MMA techniques wouldn’t absolutely kill John Cena?

I was so mad because I thought Lesnar would get a few minutes of this in then Cena would just do a few moves and win. I was kind of right, but this match turned out to be a classic regardless. Lesnar beat the shit out of Cena for like 15 minutes. Cena was bleeding all over and at one point Lesnar wiped Cena’s blood across his chest and licked it off his gloves. It was savage. When I say Lesnar destroyed Cena, I mean he DESTROYED him. I’ve never seen anything like it. The WWE had their top boy get ransacked for at least 15 minutes. The match was just under 20 I think, and Cena totally had about one minute of offense total. It was wild. Cena wore his old school chain with a padlock to the ring, and Lesnar wrapped it around Cena’s legs, hung him from the ring post, and beat the shit out of him for a few minutes. Lesnar used some of his real wrestling, busting out the rolling German suplexes, but other than that he just used strikes and brutalized Cena and had him bleeding all over.

After a while I stopped bugging about the fake MMA stuff and just started digging the match since it was the most unexpected and insane main event you could see. How often do you see the top guy get bloodied and thrown around like a piece of garbage? The finish of the match pissed me off initially but I’ve come to accept it. Cena was on the apron outside of the ring and Lesnar leapt at him. Cena had his hand wrapped with his chain and punched Lesnar in the face, Lesnar bladed (!!!!!), and Cena gave him the Attitude Adjustment onto the ring steps Lesnar had brought in. That was it. Cena pinned him, match was over. Initially I flipped out since Lesnar had beaten the living shit out of Cena then got caught with two moves and lost, but it really isn’t that bad.

Lesnar looks like he got sloppy because he tried to hit Cena with some flying something or another and got caught with the chain. He messed up and Cena barely escaped with his life. After the match Cena was selling an arm injury, at least I’m assuming he was selling and it wasn’t actually hurt, and said he may be taking a vacation and thanked the fans. Pretty random as I don’t see why you would have Lesnar job to Cena if Cena is leaving, but this is why people watch Raw the night after a PPV. I kind of like that they made Lesnar look like this wrecking machine who got too sloppy and got caught, but if Cena is taking time off this finish makes no sense as there needs to be another match.

So that’s about it for now. Thanks for taking the time to read this long-winded recap of the weekend’s madness, assuming you actually read it all and didn’t just skip to the end. Stay tuned for more Playoff thoughts at some point!

BBB's WrestleMania XXVIII Predictions

Tonight is the Grandaddy of ‘Em All! The Showcase of the Immortals! The biggest WWE event of the year! Tonight is WrestleMania XXVIII live from Miami! And don’t worry Warrior, we will all be watching it or traveling to it by conventional means. It features a pretty solid card of course headlined by a main event that now joins Hogan-Andre, Hogan-Warrior, and Hogan-Rock as one of the biggest main events in WrestleMania history: The Rock vs. John Cena. So to continue what I hope to make a new tradition for the “Big Four” WWE shows (Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, SummerSlam, and Survivor Series), here are some predictions for everybody’s favorite fake sporting event:

Team Johnny (David Otunga, Drew McIntyre, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, & Jack Swagger) vs. Team Teddy (Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, & Booker T): A few thoughts on this match. First, I feel like every year they have a big match like this just to get everybody on the card and usually it is a waste of time. Second, how far the mighty have fallen! A year ago Miz was headlining Mania as WWE Champion now he is reduced to this. Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis and SmackDown GM Teddy Long have put together these gigantic teams and whoever wins becomes GM of both shows. David Otunga is the worst wrestler in the company, as is shown by him having the lowest rating in the WWE ‘12 video game, but is still Johnny Ace’s captain. Christian and Alberto Del Rio were supposed to be on Team Johnny but Christian is still hurt and they felt this match is beneath Del Rio so they took him out of it, and I now have no interest in this match whatsoever. Teddy Long has been an on-screen character for like 10 years. WWE seems to love bastard authority figures so they’ve been high on Johnny Ace and he’s only been around the last few months. There’s nothing more to do with Teddy Long and WWE always wants to replicate the evil Mr. McMahon character from the 90s so Team Johnny will win.

Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix: Yes, that Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood and Extra. Not only is she a die hard Boston Celtics fan, she apparently enjoys doing work with WWE as this is like the third or fourth time she’s appeared at an event. Not to sound like a sexist bastard, but women’s matches are usually always terrible and this will probably be. Kelly Kelly sucks, Eve hasn’t been good from all one match I paid attention to, and Beth Phoenix is awesome. This match has no point other than to be a quick Divas match to kill time with and to get some kind of celebrity involvement. Menounos just broke some ribs doing Dancing with the Stars so I don’t know if she’ll even still be in this match or what. If she is she won’t do much other than probably get the pin. Maria & Kelly Kelly win.

Randy Orton vs. Kane: This is the most pointless match on the card and hopefully will open the show to get it out of the way. Just like Cena’s feud with Kane was done just so Cena would have something to do before The Rock came back, this feud serves no purpose other than to get Orton on WrestleMania. The WWE loves Orton for whatever reason and he has gotten better in the ring than he was when I remember him first getting his super push in 2004. Kane also showed in his matches with Cena that he’s still got some stuff left in the tank and can work, but really this match won’t be that good. I had to look on Wikipedia to find out what these guys are even feuding over since I had no idea. Apparently Kane is upset he shook hands with Orton after a match in JULY OF LAST YEAR because it made him look like a mere mortal and weak. What the hell? Whatever. Even a fake wrestling “news” site which is like The Onion but about wrestling has made jokes about how this match is over nothing. Orton wins.

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show: I will give Cody Rhodes some credit since I always thought Ted DiBiase Jr. would be the breakout star from Randy Orton’s lame ass stable Legacy. I thought DiBiase had it on the mic and would become this badass heel, but instead he’s become pretty lame. Cody Rhodes, however, has worked his ass off and become a great upper mid-card heel. He is cutting great promos and the WWE is obviously high on him since he’s been Intercontinental Champion since August and was one of the longest participants in the Royal Rumble this year, and had the most eliminations in the match. I have gone from hating Rhodes to actually enjoying his work now. As for Big Show, he has been and remains pretty much my least favorite wrestler ever so I’m not really that pumped for this match since I don’t want to watch 10 minutes of Big Show. I’ve loved Rhodes’ promos going into this match about how Show always loses at WrestleMania and will again. I don’t know why Big Show would win this match since the IC title does nothing for him at all and a loss isn’t what Cody needs right now with this momentum. Cody retains.

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: Not much to say about this match since it seems pretty cut and dry. Bryan has been a great heel champion. The WWE has done a really good job at building up Bryan’s chickenshit, asshole character. Bryan is one of the greatest technical wrestlers on the planet but seemed lacking in personality, but this run as champ and a bad guy has been so entertaining. He retains the title in ridiculous and cheap ways and it has been fun to watch. Sheamus is the Royal Rumble winner and it has seemed like the WWE has been gearing him up for a good push for a while. It is always possible Bryan retains and his quiet, nerd girlfriend AJ pulls some shenanigans to help him and turns heel but that seems like it would be way too WCW and far more unlikely than Sheamus getting his push. This will likely be a pretty good match, and Sheamus will win the title.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: While people probably aren’t as excited for this as they are for HHH-Taker or Rock-Cena, this is probably going to be the match of the night. There are rumors this could open the show, which I find to be idiotic since such a well-built match for the biggest belt in the company should be worth more than the opening slot. A few weeks ago Punk suggested to Jericho that they go out and put on the best technical wrestling match in WrestleMania history. A tall order considering classics like Savage-Steamboat, Angle-Benoit, Angle-Michaels, Jericho-Michaels, Hart-Hart, and Hart-Michaels all have taken place on the grandest stage of them all. Though really if any two performers could go out there and do it, it would be these guys. Jericho has been gold on the mic in this feud. He has spent the last three weeks attacking CM Punk’s family. First, as Punk was in the ring Jericho appeared on the video screen to say he knows Punk is straight edge because his father is an alcoholic. The next week he said he wouldn’t make comments about Punk’s father, but instead brought up Punk’s sister having a substance abuse problem. Then this past Monday he said Punk’s parents got married after Punk was born, making him a bastard. That has caused Punk to go crazy and he has vowed to beat the hell out of Jericho. This should be a great match and will hopefully be a classic, though it isn’t getting the hype it deserves. As for a result, I could buy Jericho winning since the next pay per view is in Chicago, Punk’s hometown, so Punk could chase the title and regain it in front of a rabid hometown audience. That would be a cool way to go, but I still look at it as if it were 2002 and the WWE just hates Jericho and never wants him to win, so CM Punk retains.

Hell in a Cell with Special Referee Shawn Michaels - Triple H vs. Undertaker: The match is being dubbed as “The End of an Era.” Of course this is the end of the Attitude Era, the late-90s era that made the WWF popular again. These two guys are the last ones left from that time period, other than The Rock but when you work one match every seven years it doesn’t count. Also noteworthy is that Undertaker is looking to make his WrestleMania record a ridiculous 20-0. This is a rematch of last year’s bout where Aitches beat Undertaker so bad the Deadman couldn’t stand up but still had enough strength to choke Trips out. Undertaker needs redemption for almost losing, and Triple H needs to prove he’s the man. Shawn Michaels gets inserted since he’s best friends with Triple H and bitter rivals with Undertaker. At Manias 25 and 26 Michaels lost to Taker and retired, so they’ve built drama by making it seem like Michaels may screw over Triple H so he can’t do what Michaels failed to do. At the same time HBK could screw over Taker so he still can be the man who ended the streak. I don’t know if this match will suck, but I expect it to be boring and feature a lot of these guys laying around tired. This will most likely be Undertaker’s last match since he literally has nothing left to do. He takes off 10 months then comes back to hype up WrestleMania, win, then take off another 10 months. It has been that way for a couple years now. He’s in no kind of shape, had to shave his head since he’s balding so bad, looks too weak to stand after matches, and really he has nothing left to do. This will be a long match, Shawn Michaels will superkick somebody, and Undertaker goes 20-0. The bigger prediction here is from the start of the entrances all the way to the final pinfall or submission, how long will this entire thing be? I’m saying 56 minutes. Yes, nearly an hour of a four hour program is going to this.

Once In a Liftetime (Until they do a rematch at next year’s Mania) The Rock vs John Cena: I’ve written about how the build to this match absolutely sucked for months since they announced this match a year ago. The Rock has only been around to promote it this last month, and as sick as this is to say I’ve actually enjoyed the fact the WWE has had Cena get the better of him in their promos. This is all intentional since WWE doesn’t want Cena getting booed too bad at Mania so they’ve had him come across as the “real” person and Rock look like Hollywood. The crowd is going to be as insane as they were for Rock-Hogan ten years ago. Maybe even more insane since this is in Miami, The Great One’s hometown. This is going to be a very pro-Rock crowd because it is Miami, because of nostalgia, and because there are a lot of people who are still mad Cena has been shoved down everybody’s throats as the new Hogan or even the new Rock. The match itself is not going to be very good. I know Rock has been working hard to get back in ring shape and all, but he was never a particularly great worker in his prime and the fact he’s worked one match since WrestleMania XX doesn’t make me think he’s improved. Cena is also not a particularly great worker though he has gotten better over the last few years. There will be some power moves, a lot of rest holds, and they will probably both kick out of a few of each other’s finishers. A lot of people think Cena turns heel and Rock wins, but I don’t buy it. Cena moves too much merch to turn him heel, and while that would be cool and would bring some freshness to Cena’s character the WWE never goes with the obvious or cool move. There are rumors of a rematch next year at Mania so that is sparking theories that Rock wins tonight then returns the favor next year. I feel people are adding more drama to this match than necessary. Also there are some rumblings of a former WWE star being re-signed (Potential Spoiler Alert?) so if that is true maybe that will have an effect on this match. If not, then it is pretty simple to me: Hogan did the job for Rock at X-8, and Hogan NEVER loses, so it only makes sense that the guy who was more than willing to put anybody over back in the day does it again. You have to put over the current generation, so Cena wins.

So that's it. It should be a pretty fun show since the top four matches are all pretty solid. And there are rumors that my boy Batista is going to be making a return tonight. I hope that's true since the last time I was this pumped for a Mania, I was in 8th grade and Batista was facing Triple H for the World Championship. Either way, it isn't every WrestleMania where you get one of the biggest main events of all time so tonight is pretty monumental.

BBB's 25 Greatest Wrestlers of All Time: 25-21

WrestleMania XXVIII is this Sunday so to celebrate we here at Black Belt Basketball have compiled a little list of the greatest wrestlers of all time. I know for me this has been one of the most fun posts to write since it takes me back. I’m assuming my brother also was down otherwise he wouldn’t have contributed. Before we get into the first bit of the top 25, here are some guys who aren’t on the list for whatever reason but still deserve some kind of props:

• Chris Benoit - Until June 24, 2007 I’m sure Jimmy and I both would have put Benoit near the top of the list. He was an unreal worker who regularly put on matches that were among the best you’d ever seen. The moment when he finally won the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania XX was one of the greatest moments in the history of the business and his celebration with Eddie Guerrero was amazing. But then Benoit developed dementia from years of repeated blows to the head and on that day in 2007 he killed himself after murdering his wife and son. That changes everything and has made it uncomfortable to even think about him for five years now.
• Eddie Guerrero - So charismatic, so funny, such a great worker. Eddie overcame drug and alcohol issues to finally become WWE Champion and was in the best stretch of his entire career when he died suddenly of a heart attack at the end of 2005. It was such a tragedy.
• Ultimate Warrior - Not a good worker, but he was one of the biggest stars in the old school WWF. He at least deserves a little credit for his career.

And of course there are two guys worth mentioning since they aren’t on this list since we counted them as part of the new era of guys and didn't want to include anybody currently working unless they had built up a legacy we deemed acceptable:

• John Cena - WWE’s cash cow since 2005. Just like Hogan, Stone Cold, and The Rock before him, Cena is the big star relied on to carry everything. He is a mediocre wrestler with great charisma and has become one of the most important guys in WWE history. He also worked a match I believe to be one of the five greatest ever with the next guy here....
• CM Punk - The self-proclaimed “Best in the World” and current WWE Champion. Amazing on the mic, amazing in the ring, the Straight Edge Superstar single handedly made the WWE cool again last summer with an epic series of promos and a feud with John Cena.

So with that out of the way, I present to you numbers 25-21 of the Greatest Wrestlers of All Time:

25. “Ravishing” Rick Rude
Joe: One of the all time greats on the microphone, Rick Rude is the first of many stars from the old WWF that deserved to be WWF Champion due to his great promo and in-ring work, but never got past the Intercontinental title due to Hulk Hogan’s strangehold on the top spot. His cage match with “Rowdy” Roddy Piper that appeared on the old Coliseum WWF Superstars video tape is the first match I remember seeing and is forever a favorite. His wrestling career was cut short due to a back injury but his overwhelming charisma allowed him to stay on TV as a manager for several more years until he died from heart failure in 1999.

Jimmy: The Ravishing One was part of the great old school WWF cadre of mid-upper card heels that could have made a believable champ if Hogan hadn’t buried everyone. He made the Ultimate Warrior a credible star and had a brilliant feud with Jake Roberts that turned the Snake into a babyface. More importantly, Rude was awesome and fun to watch. He was ridiculously ripped, cut great promos and had the coolest tights (and mustache). He was also a part of my favorite cage match ever against Roddy Piper at some point in the 80s. If you could bring him back from the 80s and use him now, he would be in the main event of 90% of WWE pay per views. A total legend.

24. Dusty Rhodes
Joe: The American Dream baby! Big Dust is probably best known for having a feud in the 80s with Ric Flair that has gone down as one of the all time greats, including the segment in which the Four Horsemen jumped Rhodes and smashed his arm. The fans loved Dusty because of his charisma and the fact that his gimmick was that he was the everyman. He is one of the most charismatic performers in the history of the business and was one of the biggest stars of his generation.

Jimmy: The American Dream was part of one of the most memorable feuds ever with Ric Flair and the Four Horseman back in the old NWA days and before that had an entertaining run in the old WWWF against Billy Graham. His “Son of a Plumber” promos, amongst others, were highly entertaining and he even managed to get over in that absurd polka dot outfit Vince McMahon made him wear to humiliate him when he came to the WWF in the late 80s. The fact that he could look like a slob and still be a believable main eventer is a credit to his charisma (and the work rate of his opponents).


23. Mick Foley
Jimmy: The Hardcore Legend is a personal favorite of mine, even if he should have stopped wrestling a decade ago. His run as Cactus Jack in ECW was brilliant and violent. He cut some of the greatest promos in the sport and his matches with Sabu and Terry Funk were absolute bloodbaths. His Hell in a Cell match with the Undertaker provided two of the most unforgettable moments in WWF/E history and his 2000 feud with Triple H helped make “the Game” a believable badass. If he hadn’t served as a glorified jobber and recycled all his great promos and storylines over the past decade, he could have been higher.

Joe: The greatest hardcore wrestler of all time, Foley worked for all three major promotions: the WWF/E, WCW, and ECW. Though he is most well-known for his time in the WWE as Mankind and nearly dying in the Hell in the Cell match with Undertaker, his best days came as Cactus Jack in ECW. He is an underrated worker who has made stars of numerous people for the WWE. He made Triple H into a badass, helped Randy Orton shed his pretty boy image and become a legitimate main eventer, and helped Edge on his rise to becoming the best heel in the business in 2006. Foley had no ego about making somebody into a star and that is every bit as important to his greatness as the classic matches.

22. Harley Race
Jimmy: One of the all-time greats in the NWA. He also had a memorable feud with Ric Flair and was the inspiration behind Triple H’s mustache and feud with Goldberg in 2003. Harley was a pretty badass dude and if WWF wasn’t so kid friendly in the 80s, should have had a manly feud with Hogan. Instead, he beat on Junkyard Dog and was “the King” before Jerry Lawler had that title in WWF. I’m not as up on his history as I am with most of the others on this list, so I’m going to have to keep it pretty short.

Joe: Another one of the old school legends, Race is one of the most important wrestlers from the old NWA days. I haven’t seen much of his work, but his feud with Ric Flair in the 80s was monumental as it gave way to the first Starrcade, what would become the NWA and later WCW’s flagship event. Race was a legit badass who tried to fight Hulk Hogan for real and he even ripped Ricky Steamboat’s face to shreds with sandpaper to make a beating from Ric Flair look legit.

21. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
Joe: DiBiase had perhaps the greatest theme music ever. Like Rick Rude, DiBiase suffered because of backstage politics played by Hulk Hogan and was never WWF Champion. As a consolation prize he was given the incredibly awesome looking Million Dollar Championship, but that belt was essentially meaningless. He was the perfect main event heel but never got a chance to showcase it, not even winning the Intercontinental title.

Jimmy: Another 80s heel from the WWF that would have been a god today. Think JBL but could actually work a match. The Million Dollar Man gimmick was awesome and he made it work better than anyone could have. He matched it by being a great worker as well as a great talker. He was part of the biggest feud in WWF by paying Andre the Giant to give him the title, which led to a battle with Hulk Hogan. This segued into Wrestlemania IV and Randy Savage becoming the WWF Champion and eventually having an epic rivalry with Hulk Hogan. In a more fair business, DiBiaise would have had a brief run with the title as a reward for how great he was.

That is it for now. Check back throughout the week for the rest of them.

What a Difference 23 Years Makes: The WWE and the Lost Art of Building an Epic Main Event

The year was 1989. It was WWF WrestleMania V live from the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City. The main event was the culmination of a year of booking: Hulk Hogan taking on WWF Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage in a match between the two biggest guys in the business billed as “The Mega Powers Explode.” It took the WWF exactly one year to get to the match and the build worked perfectly. Over the course of a year we saw Savage and Hogan become partners, beat the hell out of the bad guys, and ultimately become arch enemies. As far as feuds taking place over the course of a year go, it is the greatest thing the WWF, now WWE, has ever done.

It all began at WrestleMania IV, also in Trump Plaza. After Andre the Giant defeated Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship in controversial fashion on The Main Event, it was revealed The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase orchestrated the entire thing so Andre would sell him the belt. The championship was vacated and a tournament was scheduled for Mania. Hogan and Andre were both disqualified during their match, giving Ted DiBiase a bye on his way to the finals. On the other side of the bracket, Savage had to overcome the gigantic One Man Gang and was drained going into his match up with DiBiase to crown the new champion. The Million Dollar Man brought Andre down to the ring with him and the Giant continually interfered in the match. Savage’s manager, Miss Elizabeth, ran backstage and emerged a few moments later with Hulk Hogan.

Hogan helped Savage win the match and The Mega Powers team was formed. At SummerSlam, The Mega Powers beat Andre and DiBiase and began to dominate the wrestling scene. However, while Hogan and Savage did beat all comers, trouble was brewing within the team. Savage was becoming upset with the way Hogan would act towards Elizabeth. He felt Hogan was acting overly friendly toward his woman. As if fear over Hogan stealing his woman wasn’t enough, Hogan accidentally eliminated Savage in the 1989 Royal Rumble. The nail in the coffin occurred a few weeks later on another edition of The Main Event and the stage was set for a WrestleMania showdown between the company’s biggest stars.

Savage and Hogan were up against a team known as the Twin Towers, Akeem and the Big Boss Man. Savage was thrown out of the ring during the match and landed on Elizabeth, knocking her out. Hogan carried Elizabeth to the back, leaving Savage to fend for himself against the two massive competitors for a few minutes. When Hogan came back, Savage tagged him in by slapping him in the face, took his championship, and left. After Hogan defeated the Towers, he went to the back to check on Elizabeth again only to find Macho Man there. Savage then accused Hogan of lusting for Elizabeth and the WWF Championship while Hogan told him to relax. Macho hit Hogan with the belt and proceeded to beat the hell out of him.

It was a brilliant drama that unfolded over the course of a year. Before Hogan went out for his match with Savage he did an interview with Mean Gene Okerlund preceded by a video package chronicling the exploits of The Mega Powers. When the video ended, Okerlund exclaimed, “What a difference a year makes!” Hogan then proceeded to cut the best promo of his career, summing up what happened during that year and explaining the magnitude of their match.

Of course there was no doubt Hogan would win since Hogan always won and it was the only thing that made sense in terms of the storyline, but the build up to the Mega Powers exploding was still epic. The two biggest stars in the company right at the top for an entire year with the biggest prize in the business between them. It was brilliant booking and it culminated in an intense WrestleMania match tying up a year’s worth of storylines. It was perfect story telling by the WWF and something we’ve seen they could never match with a year to work.

This is most evidenced by the main event of WrestleMania XXVIII this year being billed as the biggest main event in the history of the WWE: John Cena vs. The Rock. The WWE will tell you this is going to be a war and we should all be excited, but unless you are a little kid it is hard to buy anything other than Cena winning. The WWE made this match literally the day after WrestleMania XXVII and the build has been piss poor considering they have had a year to craft an epic story but have instead done nothing but tie up the main event of the biggest show of the year with an underwhelming match.

The Rock, now Dwayne Johnson to the public since he’s a movie star, made his heroic return to the WWE last year on Valentine’s Day when it was announced he was the guest host of last year’s Mania. He came out to one of the biggest pops in history. Instantly grown men were transformed into little kids, jumping up and down and swinging their arms like weirdos. The Rock then cut a promo saying he was back for the fans and it is because of them he would never leave again. He missed a few episodes of Raw leading to WrestleMania. At Mania he hit Cena with the Rock Bottom, costing him the WWE Championship, and stood tall to end the show. The next night on Raw he extended the challenge to Cena for WrestleMania XXVIII, in Rock’s hometown of Miami. Cena accepted, and Rocky was off WWE TV until his birthday in May and then made sporadic appearances via pre-taped promos.

Finally in the fall he came back to team with Cena at Survivor Series and demolish The Miz and R. Truth. He appeared on the episode of Raw right before the pay per view, then was gone after hitting another Rock Bottom on Cena to end Survivor Series.

The Rock will be on Raw tonight but has yet to appear on WWE television in person this year since he is making movies, despite having the biggest spot on the biggest card of the year. This is a huge problem as it makes building a match extremely difficult when you make it a year in advance then only one guy is around to promote it. Another issue is the fact The Rock has buried Cena in every promo he’s cut. Granted it has been cool to hear the biggest star from my generation say Cena is lame as hell, but in build up to a match it sucks because when Rocky loses he’s just lost to a guy he’s made look like absolute crap for a year.

But still the biggest issue is the fact The Rock is hardly around but yet was given the main event at the biggest show a year in advance. This has angered many, and for good reason. The issue of course is not with the match itself. It is a brilliant business decision since The Rock is one of the three biggest stars in the history of the business along with Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan. This match also gets a lot of older fans who don’t pay attention to the product as much anymore to tune back in since the big star of their generation is back to do battle with the big star of the current generation. Nostalgia always works.

Booking a match publicly, one year in advance ties up too many things in terms of storylines and of course upsets too many of the workers. The Rock is not even a regular performer anymore but WWE just placed him above work horses like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. Granted even if the build to this match started in January of this year it would still be the main event, but having it announced only a month or two in advance would be better than essentially declaring an entire year’s worth of storylines is useless since Cena and Rock will be at the top of the big show no matter what.

When Punk cut his now legendary “worked shoot” promo back in June, he said it made him sick that The Rock was given the main event at WrestleMania a year in advance. This promo of course starts the chain of events that makes the Rock-Cena super fight a little less epic. For years now Cena has been getting booed, and of course when face-to-face with one of the biggest stars ever in The Rock he gets booed a lot, but once Punk became the number one contender to Cena’s WWE title last June, his spot in the company changed drastically. Punk’s promo got him over with the fans like nothing we’ve seen in a long time and the rest is history. Punk beats Cena for the WWE Championship and is cheered as a hero everywhere they go, making the WWE’s top guy not look like the superhero they always want him to be. It diminished Cena’s star power a little bit and turned Punk into the must-see guy.

But the problem with all of that was that no matter how bad things got for Cena, you knew he wouldn’t really lose that bad or anything since he had to be kept looking strong for his match with The Rock. He also foolishly stayed in the title picture since he wanted to make his match with The Rock for the WWE title. This is silly since if The Rock were to win he would be off TV for like a year so there would be no way the belt is defended. When Cena fought in a Hell in a Cell against Alberto Del Rio and Punk they made it seem like everything was at stake for Cena but there was no real suspense. No matter what happened you knew Cena would be fine since he was just keeping busy while we all waited for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s return.

This was especially true for the absolutely dreadful feud Cena just finished up with Kane. Kane continually jumped Cena and his friend Zack Ryder because he was upset Cena won’t embrace the hate of the WWE fans or something that didn’t make sense like that. They milked this awful crap for two months just so Cena and Kane both had something to do. When it all culminated in an ambulance match two weeks ago at Elimination Chamber, it was so obvious Cena would be fine since the push for WrestleMania started the next night on Raw and of course he’s going to look like a beast when the hype for his match with The Rock starts up.

And it is pretty bad that since WrestleMania XX, The Rock has only worked one match and that was Survivor Series this past November. So I’m supposed to believe the guy who is working every week, night in and night out, is going to get his ass wrecked by a guy who has done more Disney movies than wrestling matches in the last eight years? Of course since it is professional wrestling we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief, but taking that sort of thing into account makes it pretty easy to figure out what is going to happen at Mania. Just look at The Rock’s match with Hogan ten years ago to see how this will be.

Hogan had not been in the WWE for eight years and The Rock was the biggest star in the business. They faced off at WrestleMania and the crowd was behind Hogan out of nostalgia, but you’ve got to put over the new generation so Hogan did the job for Rock. The exact same thing is happening now. What was better about the build for Rock-Hogan though was the fact they announced it one month in advance, not a year.

If they wanted to do a year-long build for Rock-Cena, you don’t announce the match the night after Mania last year, you just have The Rock make appearances in person throughout the year bickering with Cena and working a couple matches here and there so he seems like he’s actually part of the roster. Then at the Royal Rumble in January you have them eliminate each other in some sort of shenanigans so the next night on Raw they challenge each other to an epic Mania showdown, and you do a contract signing at Elimination Chamber to build the tension, then at Mania you can sum up a year’s worth of conflict. Instead it was like they announced the match a year in advance to sell tickets faster and this lack of appearances makes it seem like The Rock just wants a big paycheck.

The match was put into perspective by Cena last week on Raw. He cut a shoot promo on The Rock where he essentially summed up why he is going to win at WrestleMania and why it would only make sense for him to win, killing all suspense associated with the match if anybody thought Cena’s win was in doubt. Cena talked about how The Rock left the WWE to make movies and how he has an entourage now to do everything for him. He talked about how The Rock will come out, get the crowd fired up, then will leave for Hollywood again. Cena called The Rock out for only returning to promote his Twitter account and had a classic line about how the best part of this feud will be that the week after WrestleMania, when The Rock will be filming another movie while Cena is on Raw still.

The internet has also hurt the build to this match because you can go to Dwayne Johnson’s IMDb page and see he has five movies in the works right now so you know his time in WWE is not going to last. He is going to come out at WrestleMania, do the job to Cena, come out the next night on Raw, give Cena props, then be gone again. It is a turn of events that could have been built up in two months but instead the WWE has given it 12, and in turn weakened a year’s worth of events because it was already set in stone that only one man in the world poses a true threat to Cena.

WWE wanted this to be an epic build to an epic conflict, but instead it seems forced and lame and makes you think The Rock isn’t totally in this for the fans like he claims since he has made few attempts to really promote the match. It only makes sense for Cena to win, and Cena is likely going to win. When Hogan and Savage squared off after a year in the spotlight it was the natural progression of an angle culminating at the year’s biggest event and was a great business move. Rock-Cena is a strained and forced attempt at selling as many tickets and pay per views as possible. It is a great business move, but in terms of storylines it solves absolutely nothing but proves that Vince McMahon and Co. still have no idea how to book in this era even though they used to be great at it two decades ago.

BBB's Unnecessary WWE Royal Rumble Predictions

Tonight is the WWE’s 25th Royal Rumble. It is a pretty lack luster card, but with the Rumble the first of the WWE’s Big Four shows for the year. Of course the main event of the night is the 30-man Royal Rumble match in which two men start and every two minutes another competitor enters the ring. Eliminations take place when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and both of his feet touch the ground. The last man standing wins a world championship match against either Raw or SmackDown’s champ at WrestleMania. The Rumble match is always fun and the main reason to order the show, though the undercard should be entertaining enough though there are no United States or Intercontinental title matches. Here’s the deal:

John Cena vs. Kane
This is a bizarre grudge match. Kane has returned once again wearing a mask with long hair that is so terribly fake and attached to the mask and trunks so bootleg looking with flames on them I almost didn’t believe it was actually Kane at first. Kane has repeatedly gone after Cena demanding that Cena embrace the hate of the WWE fans. Kane went so far as to brutally attack Cena’s friend and current United States Champion Zack Ryder and “injure” him. This has caused Cena to go nuts and beat the shit out of people with no remorse. This angle has been extremely lame and random as it serves no purpose other than to just give Cena something to do while he waits for The Rock to get done promoting movies so they can hype up WrestleMania. Cena doesn’t lose, and I don’t see him losing at one of the biggest shows of the year to a guy who is hardly relevant anymore. Cena wins easily.

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show in a Steel Cage
The whole gimmick for this feud is that Bryan is such a little guy and Henry and Show are so huge. Bryan has spent weeks running away from both of them and retaining his belt in cowardly fashion, which of course means he will win convincingly tonight. I could not care any less about this match. Bryan Wins.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler with Guest Referee Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis
The whole CM Punk-Laurinaitis (here-in referred to as Johnny Ace since that was his name when he was a shitty wrestler) feud is a rehash of the Stone Cold Steve Austin-Vince McMahon feud from the 90s meant to tide Punk over until he likely builds for a program with Chris Jericho at WrestleMania. Johnny Ace of course wants Ziggler to win, but for the sake of his job he will most likely call the match fair and square. That said, Ziggler has done a pretty good job working his way up into the main event and will likely become champion before the year is out. However, don’t expect that to be the case tonight. Punk is the top guy right now and is, as he says over and over, the best wrestler in the world. And really, how am I not going to pick the guy I put in the banner for our site as the winner? This is going to be the best match on the undercard and most likely of the entire night since you have the best in the business and another very good wrestler in the ring. In terms of storyline and such though, the finish of the match isn’t really a mystery. CM Punk retains of course.

30-Man Royal Rumble
The event is taking place in St. Louis, the hometown of 2009 Rumble winner and former WWE and World Champion Randy Orton. He was WWE’s early pick to win but he was sidelined with an injury earlier this year and just returned this past week on SmackDown. They wrote him off in terms of storylines by having Wade Barrett beat the hell out of him, and Barrett’s feud with Orton hasn’t really been resolved. The show is in Orton’s hometown and WWE does have a thing with no longer having the winner of the Rumble be a new main eventer (the last few years have seen Undertaker, Edge, Cena, and Orton all win), so Orton seems like an obvious choice. It is also worth noting that WWE has always loved Orton and pushed him in spite of problems backstage and the fact his in-ring work is a little on the bad side and he is staler and stale.

The only other likely winner is the recently returned Chris Jericho. Jericho is one of the greatest in-ring performers and mic workers in the history of the business, though he has yet to wrestle and the only time he has spoken was to say this past Monday on Raw that the Rumble would be the end of the world. The big rumor is that it will be Jericho and Punk at Mania so having Jericho win tonight would set the wheels in motion. Orton has been a perennial main eventer for years so he doesn’t really need the win, and his program with Barrett isn’t done. I could easily see this ending some stupid way with Jericho coming out and just high fiving everybody sitting ringside like he has been then running backstage and as Orton eliminates Barrett at the end Jericho just pops up behind him and throws him out. Regardless of how it happens I still think Jericho wins.

Best in the World: CM Punk's Journey from King of the Indies to WWE's Savior

World Wrestling Entertainment has been experiencing a loss of fans due to the fact they've made their product TV-PG and got corny. Recently though, they've begun bringing fans who left them back into the fold, including yours truly, due to recent work by CM Punk. Back in 2007 my brother and I gave up watching wrestling on a regular basis because it started sucking. We’d still order the “big four” pay per views of WrestleMania, Summerslam, Survivor Series, and Royal Rumble but we’d give up investing serious time watching the product. Why? Because the WWE had gotten lamer than lame. The Rock was long gone, Brock Lesnar left for the UFC, and John Cena was made to be superhuman and was put over every big star in the company as a means of the WWE forcing him down everybody’s throat.

Cena was put over Chris Jericho, Edge, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels. He even dominated Kurt Angle. All of this despite the fact Cena, who is supposed to be the WWE's golden boy and biggest face, was getting booed. WWE began making their product more kid friendly in an effort to secure Cena’s fan base and figured if they just kept having him win the fans would change their tune. We’re at the point in time where it is really only little kids who cheer for Cena and everybody else wants him to lose. This has been the story for a few years, and that’s why my brother and I gave up watching.

However, during this time there was one ray of hope. There was a superstar – WWE doesn’t call their performers wrestlers – who had the potential to be the king of the business. He had that sort of rock star swagger of Edge, the unbelievable charisma of Chris Jericho, and the wrestling ability of Bret Hart. Of course I’m talking about the “straight edge superstar” CM Punk. What originally drew me to CM Punk was the fact he is straight edge. It blew my mind that a guy in a business full of substance abuse and steroids just steered clear of all of it. Punk is so much smaller than so many of the top guys in the WWE but he never looks outmatched or outclassed. The next thing that got me intrigued was the fact Paul Heyman supported him.

In the summer of 2006 Punk was brought in to WWE’s reboot of ECW because Heyman loved him. Heyman ran the original ECW (greatest wrestling promotion of all time) and had been a huge supporter of Lesnar and Raven and other awesome performers. If Heyman said Punk was good, then you better believe Punk was the man. Punk had long been hailed as the king of the independent wrestling leagues, but I had never seen him until his debut promo on ECW. I thought he could be pretty cool, so I started looking up his past promo work. I found this classic promo on Germany and I was hooked. It was amazing that Punk played the heel so perfectly by using his straight edge lifestyle to proclaim himself better than everybody else. But of course, WWE brought him in as a good guy and misused him for a long time.

Eventually Punk won the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania, in which the winner receives a contract for a world championship match good anytime and anywhere within the calendar year. One night in 08 I was watching Raw since there was nothing else on and Edge, World Heavyweight Champion at the time, was cutting a promo but then Batista came out and beat the shit out of him. Then Punk came out and cashed in his Money in the Bank title shot and became World Champion for the first time. Of course they kept him face and put him in stupid feuds and never gave him attention. It was crap, but luckily they've changed their ways.

I shit you not, four years ago I told my brother the best thing the WWE could do is turn CM Punk heel and feud him with John Cena. I said Punk had all the charisma and skill to be the number one heel in the company. It would be amazing to pit the real wrestling fans against the little kids and women. I told my brother this, but I figured it would never happen. But finally in the summer of 2009 things started changing. Punk turned heel that summer in a feud against fan favorite and drug abusing scumbag Jeff Hardy. Punk became the arrogant straight edge douche and played it off perfectly. This then led to Punk starting “The Straight Edge Society” in which he’d brainwash people into joining his cult of clean living. He cut great promos, worked awesome matches, and always got a rise out of the crowd.

I started watching wrestling a little bit again this year because The Rock had made his return to guest host WrestleMania. It did my heart good to watch Raw and see CM Punk be the best part of it with his great promos on Randy Orton. After losing to Orton at WrestleMania I had figured WWE once again dropped the ball with CM Punk. I could not have been any more wrong.

Last month the WWE started the storyline that has made them relevant once again. Punk went on a winning streak against the top guys on Raw then announced his contract with WWE ended the night of the Money in the Bank pay per view, which took place in his hometown of Chicago. He made a promise to win the championship from John Cena that night and then leave WWE with the belt. Punk cut one of the greatest promos of all time, ripping the WWE and owner Vince McMahon and his family to shreds and proclaiming himself to be the best in the world. They cut the mic off during the promo and people began to wonder if this was a storyline or if this guy was for real. Punk spent the weeks in buildup to the pay per view speaking his mind and going nuts. He is supposed to be the heel but everybody is giving him massive ovations and loving him up. Punk’s work is drawing the attention of all kinds of people. Colin Cowherd of ESPN was talking about how brilliant Punk was, GQ had a huge interview with him, Bill Simmons of ESPN has started a new website and there have been a few pieces on Punk written there. People were taking notice, and it all came to a head at Money in the Bank.

In the main event of what was one of the best shows WWE has run in ages, CM Punk and John Cena faced off in a match that people have been raving about for a couple weeks now. Punk’s entrance was one of the craziest things to happen as of late in wrestling because he’s supposed to be the bad guy going up against the biggest hero in the company, but everybody in that Chicago crowd was chanting Punk’s name for two minutes before his music even hit. When he came out it was the ultimate hero’s welcome and when he hit his finisher, the Go to Sleep, on Cena and got the three count for the win the crowd exploded. The guys who write about the inner workings of the business online all lost their shit and began calling this The Summer of Punk. Indeed it is.

In the span of a month CM Punk has become what WWE always wanted John Cena to be but hasn’t been able to become: the huge crossover star that gets people talking about the company again. After Punk won the title he claimed he was retiring and staying home in Chicago with the title. People were buying into this like he was really done. WWE even did a tournament for the “vacant” WWE title and made no mention of CM Punk as if they had a real split. Punk crashed the WWE/Mattel panel at Comic Con to say the tournament was crap and he’d have the real belt back home in Chicago, reaffirming he was done with WWE. When John Cena won the championship to end Raw this past Monday, “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour hit and out walked CM Punk with the real WWE Championship. Normally the heel would be booed for interrupting the face’s celebration, but CM Punk received a standing ovation and when he stared down Cena the crowed popped way more for Punk than they did Cena when each man lifted his championship.

You want to know how big this whole CM Punk angle is getting? If you type in “cult of personality” in a search on Youtube, the first suggested result is “cult of personality cm punk.” That song was big before Punk used it in WWE, but now it is picking up steam just because he stared down John Cena with it playing. The mere fact WWE was willing to pay to use the song says something. At Money in the Bank Punk had an amazing shirt with his logo and the words “Best in the World” on it, and they were only sold that night. They’re now going for hundreds of bucks on Ebay. That’s pretty amazing. Punk made a funny appearance on Jimmy Kimmel this past week, and was featured on Bill Simmons' podcast.

On that podcast Punk talked about the world of professional wrestling and how he’s out to “make that shit cool again.” Much like Stone Cold Steve Austin transformed wrestling in the 1990s by being the anti-hero, CM Punk is doing the same and is breaking ground in the WWE. There’s never been a wrestler who openly rips apart the company and its main star, talks about how the company’s booking is crap, then wins the championship and becomes the most popular guy in the business. He is the best in the world, and has been for years. It is just nice that finally the WWE has taken notice and has given him the ball.